Husband checking out nanny - concerned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We'll she is young but isn't that fit. She is about 20lbs overweight while I already have my figure back. What is that " emotional attraction" for a nanny? Do men become emotionally attracted to a woman caring for his child? Never heard that.

She might not be fit but at least she's not insecure. There's nothing uglier than an insecure wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never hire an attractive nanny either.... and especially not one my husband eyed. Find someone else.

+1000

I posted earlier OP. Between just you and me and DCUM, DH was a complete ahole after I gave birth. We had no help at all. He noticed every female under the sun, no matter how homely. At the park, he would deliberately lock eyes with all the other new moms, again, no matter how homely. A real smack in the face, that I will not forget anytime soon. Looking back at photos, I rebounded right away after having DC, and looked fine myself, so I now know it was him (not me, as I had thought, in my new mom vulnerable state. I had gone to my reunion, as an example, and no one could believe, seriously, that I had given birth just a few months sooner - or that I had kids!). It wasn't me, it wasn't the sex, it turned out - he had tons of problems. He is still working on them. Not least of which, how his dad treated his mother.

Besides talking about what kind of ahole does that - save yourself some aggravation and don't bring trouble into your house. One of our nannies started wearing this uber padded bra to work - which would have made her chest the same size as mine! CREEPY. Other than that, I was smaller than her, she was nothing special, but she kept amping it up - so out she went. My beautiful house was looking better to her than her dumpy condo, that's for sure.

OP, keep trouble on the other side of the door.

[Anonymous]

I suggest you hire the hot nanny and let your husband do what he wants to.you can't stop him anyway. Better that you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never hire an attractive nanny either.... and especially not one my husband eyed. Find someone else.

+1000

I posted earlier OP. Between just you and me and DCUM, DH was a complete ahole after I gave birth. We had no help at all. He noticed every female under the sun, no matter how homely. At the park, he would deliberately lock eyes with all the other new moms, again, no matter how homely. A real smack in the face, that I will not forget anytime soon. Looking back at photos, I rebounded right away after having DC, and looked fine myself, so I now know it was him (not me, as I had thought, in my new mom vulnerable state. I had gone to my reunion, as an example, and no one could believe, seriously, that I had given birth just a few months sooner - or that I had kids!). It wasn't me, it wasn't the sex, it turned out - he had tons of problems. He is still working on them. Not least of which, how his dad treated his mother.

Besides talking about what kind of ahole does that - save yourself some aggravation and don't bring trouble into your house. One of our nannies started wearing this uber padded bra to work - which would have made her chest the same size as mine! CREEPY. Other than that, I was smaller than her, she was nothing special, but she kept amping it up - so out she went. My beautiful house was looking better to her than her dumpy condo, that's for sure.

OP, keep trouble on the other side of the door.

Damn woman, you've got issues!!! Sounds like you and your DH really deserved each other.

[Anonymous]

OP again. My lord some of these answers are insane! I'm not afraid to hire an attractive. I was concerned about the disrespect of him eyeing her up and down in front of me but I know my DH won't ever stray. We have decided to hire her. I'm sure, as many mentioned, she isn't interested in my 37 year old husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. My lord some of these answers are insane! I'm not afraid to hire an attractive. I was concerned about the disrespect of him eyeing her up and down in front of me but I know my DH won't ever stray. We have decided to hire her. I'm sure, as many mentioned, she isn't interested in my 37 year old husband.

Very smart move. But please let him do as he pleased with her. Do not stress your dh unnecessarily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suggest you hire the hot nanny and let your husband do what he wants to.you can't stop him anyway. Better that you know.

Hi, OP's husband.

[Anonymous]

I hope your need to prove how confident you are won't come back to bite you. Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, i think you made the right decision to go with the best qualified candidate, in spite of how foolishly your husband may have acted. You could perhaps talk to him in advance of her start date about your guys' approach as professional employers, and how you guys should collectively handle dealing with her (giving her clear expectations on her work, giving her the tools to be successful, and giving her constructive feedback on things she's doing well or things she can improve on, etc.). Reinforcing that this is a professional relationship and that you want her to be a wonderful caregiver to your child, and that she should be comfortable in your home and around your family should be a helpful reminder to him. Just be consistent. If he continues to check her out, I would pull him aside and mention it to him, and say something like, "let's not make her uncomfortable, and by the way, wth?" and then let it go.

[Anonymous]

OK OP, see you in a few months when you'll be posting about your husband having an affair with the nanny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hire an unattractive nanny. You don't need the extra worry with a new baby.

I bet Miria Shriver thought this too

[Anonymous]

OP, it's good to respect your husband, the nanny and her profession, and yourself. However, I think it's insanely naive to discount human nature. Men find certain women especially attractive. Those are not the women you move into positions in your house. Common sense of the ages, learned the hard way by millions of people.

You can't live life in a cocoon, but this is not a test anyone needs. There will be no prizes for passing, but horrific penalties for failure. The years when your kids are little are very hard on a marriage. Why make things harder?

[Anonymous]

I love all these women who think the fact that he scoped out the nanny is a sign of likely infidelity. It's a sign he's indiscreet and needs to learn how to be less obvious - that's a totally rude move even when you are single and at a bar trying to meet someone.

However: this scoping out other women - is like watching porn. All men watch porn. Gay, straight, whatever, men watch porn. Men check out the people they are potentially sexually attracted to. That includes nannies...it might even include your mother.

Oink Oink.

Get over it. The husband is a crass boor if he was so obvious and he probably deserves a dope slap, but it's not a sign he's cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all these women who think the fact that he scoped out the nanny is a sign of likely infidelity. It's a sign he's indiscreet and needs to learn how to be less obvious - that's a totally rude move even when you are single and at a bar trying to meet someone.

However: this scoping out other women - is like watching porn. All men watch porn. Gay, straight, whatever, men watch porn. Men check out the people they are potentially sexually attracted to. That includes nannies...it might even include your mother.

Oink Oink.

Get over it. The husband is a crass boor if he was so obvious and he probably deserves a dope slap, but it's not a sign he's cheating.

^^ Not really the point, though. Sure, we all check out good looking people (hopefully a lot more discreetly than OP's husband), but we don't then invite them to come live in our houses. That's just silly.

[Anonymous]

Hire a male nanny.