Husband checking out nanny - concerned?

[Anonymous]

Do not hire an attractive nanny. Marriage blows the first months after delivery. You do not need someone good looking in your house that comes well slept and well shaped each morning meanwhile you look like shit, overweight, boobs out, hair highlighted 7 months ago, ughhhh, in a robe probably all day.... I mean get a nanny which will do her job well but does not look like Adriana Lima.

[Anonymous]

Don't hire her. He's already shown you that he can't or won't be appropriate. Take over the selection process and hire someone who won't be sexually attractive to your husband. You don't need this right now, and the next few months will be tough enough. You're in a vulnerable position as you get yourself back together and you both navigate exhaustion and stress. 23:13 puts it very bluntly but accurately. The fact that he wants a hot young woman living in your house so much is not a good sign at all.

[Anonymous]

People are making very good points, but perhaps forgetting another potential problem. There will be a built in emotional attraction, due to the natural bonding of the baby with Nanny. It's a total recipe for trouble, because the husband has already displayed behavior indicating danger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are making very good points, but perhaps forgetting another potential problem. There will be a built in emotional attraction, due to the natural bonding of the baby with Nanny. It's a total recipe for trouble, because the husband has already displayed behavior indicating danger.

^^ Good point. A pretty young nanny (who didn't have to carry or deliver or need time to get her figure back) bouncing "his" baby on her knee. Ugh, never thought of this.

[Anonymous]

We'll she is young but isn't that fit. She is about 20lbs overweight while I already have my figure back. What is that " emotional attraction" for a nanny? Do men become emotionally attracted to a woman caring for his child? Never heard that.

[Anonymous]

The salient point is that he ogled her up and down right in front of your face and then handpicked her as his top choice. That's all you need to know. You're obviously bothered enough that you asked your sister about it and posted on DCUM. And you were right to do so.

There's really nothing else to say. You know what the obvious right choice is; don't second-guess yourself because your DH wants her and you don't want to seem paranoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The salient point is that he ogled her up and down right in front of your face and then handpicked her as his top choice. That's all you need to know. You're obviously bothered enough that you asked your sister about it and posted on DCUM. And you were right to do so.

There's really nothing else to say. You know what the obvious right choice is; don't second-guess yourself because your DH wants her and you don't want to seem paranoid.

THIS.

Your house, your rules, OP. Before you know it, they might get comfortable playing house. You don't know what she has in the back of her mind, your house might look very good to someone with limited career options, for example. Don't do it. A nice old lady will do just fine for a newborn. Signed, BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? He looked her "up and down"? What does that even mean? Were you staring at him while he introduced himself or something? This is so weird. Am I the only one who thinks OP is super paranoid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take over the hiring process and hire a homely nanny. Or step it up in the bedroom.

Or a grandma. A non cougar, homey, plump gray haired grandma in comfortable shoes and a swearshirt emblazoned with her out of state grandkids' hand prints

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I imagine your husband does this in front of you in public, and often.

I'm saying this is a troll post.

+1. Things must be slow over on the nanny board.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Some insecure women on this board. OP, it would not bother me at all if my husband checked out an attractive young woman in front of me. Men do that. Women--including me--do it to. Frankly, based on the way you describe her mid-thread, it sounds like you spent about as much time checking out the nanny as your husband did. Should your DH worry that you might go lesbian on him? Don't all new mothers secretly want to fondle the nanny--you know, after getting emotionally attached to her because she loves your kid and all?

Good lord. Go upstairs and f--k your husband and hire whomever you think will be the best fit for your child.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Are you really that clueless that you need to post and ask whether it's a good idea to hire an attractive nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hire an unattractive nanny. You don't need the extra worry with a new baby.

My dads left my mum for my younger sister nanny. He was the 'perfect' husband before my mum brought temptation right under his nose. Up until it became public knowledge (I caught them kissing in the kitchen), my mum was the greatest believer in his good faith and called me cynical when I brought up my worries.

You don't need the stress, he does not need the extra temptation. Find a homely nanny.

[Anonymous]

Forgot to add, I would never hire an attractive nanny even if he had not checked her out. That is irrelevant. No attractive nannies under my roof.

[Anonymous]

I would never hire an attractive nanny either.... and especially not one my husband eyed. Find someone else.