Turned a colleague down for a date, reported it to HR, and I was fired the next day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is missing out on asking the main question:

OP: Are you hot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You said no. That was the end of it. Why in the world did you take this to hr? It wasn't harassment.

Yea, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being invited for a drink is not a reportable "offense". What did you hope to gain by reporting it to HR? Now if you declined and he then harassed you or retaliated in some way that would be different.

Frankly, if I were your manager I'd view you as a potential trouble maker and want to get rid of you pronto.

I think that's exactly what happened.

Exactly, a female colleauge I'm friendly with just asked if i wanted to get a drink after dinner sometime...should I report her as well?
Honestly, it's stuff like this that makes it harder for "real" harrassment cases to be taken seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You said no. That was the end of it. Why in the world did you take this to hr? It wasn't harassment.

Yea, why?

if you read the Op she even said she tried to hire a lawyer. WTF?

[Anonymous]

Original poster here.

Looking back, I think I was more concerned about the fact that I worked for Contractor A, who lost the contract to Contractor B. I was then hired by Contractor B, who did not tell me that I would be working with my former employer Contractor A. I wanted no impropriety or fraternization outside of work with Contractor A. It was a contentious relationship between the two companies, Contractor A and Contractor B. That is why I wanted to keep my Contractor B employer HR in the loop, that Contractor A was inviting me (as a date or not) outside of work for drinks and dinner, and that I politely declined and was not encouraging that behavior. By them firing me, it seemed to me they weren't supportive of me if the Contractor A dude did escalate his behavior. And I have never been harassed because I don't put myself in those situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original poster here.

Looking back, I think I was more concerned about the fact that I worked for Contractor A, who lost the contract to Contractor B. I was then hired by Contractor B, who did not tell me that I would be working with my former employer Contractor A. I wanted no impropriety or fraternization outside of work with Contractor A. It was a contentious relationship between the two companies, Contractor A and Contractor B. That is why I wanted to keep my Contractor B employer HR in the loop, that Contractor A was inviting me (as a date or not) outside of work for drinks and dinner, and that I politely declined and was not encouraging that behavior. By them firing me, it seemed to me they weren't supportive of me if the Contractor A dude did escalate his behavior. And I have never been harassed because I don't put myself in those situations.

I'm not going to touch this one. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original poster here.

Looking back, I think I was more concerned about the fact that I worked for Contractor A, who lost the contract to Contractor B. I was then hired by Contractor B, who did not tell me that I would be working with my former employer Contractor A. I wanted no impropriety or fraternization outside of work with Contractor A. It was a contentious relationship between the two companies, Contractor A and Contractor B. That is why I wanted to keep my Contractor B employer HR in the loop, that Contractor A was inviting me (as a date or not) outside of work for drinks and dinner, and that I politely declined and was not encouraging that behavior. By them firing me, it seemed to me they weren't supportive of me if the Contractor A dude did escalate his behavior. And I have never been harassed because I don't put myself in those situations.

I'm not going to touch this one. Anyone else?

Nope, I think she said it all right there. No need to take it any further. WOW

[Anonymous]

Here is my take on it - had a similar issue at my company.

Contractor B is working the contract with Contractor A as the sub. The old guy is probably a "key man" in Contractor A's performance as the subcontractor and likely a necessary piece of the entire contract. OP reported him to HR of Contractor B and they probably called him about the issue to get his take on it. Enraged, he says that OP is looney as a tune and misinterpreted his intentions. He threatens to walk off the contract and tell everyone in the industry that Contractor B is a shit-house. Then pulls the "I cannot work with her - it is either her or me" card. Contractor B realizing that old guy is more essential to the contract than OP pulls the plug on her.

I agree with PP's that OP should have kept the emails as evidence if things popped off later on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original poster here.

Looking back, I think I was more concerned about the fact that I worked for Contractor A, who lost the contract to Contractor B. I was then hired by Contractor B, who did not tell me that I would be working with my former employer Contractor A. I wanted no impropriety or fraternization outside of work with Contractor A. It was a contentious relationship between the two companies, Contractor A and Contractor B. That is why I wanted to keep my Contractor B employer HR in the loop, that Contractor A was inviting me (as a date or not) outside of work for drinks and dinner, and that I politely declined and was not encouraging that behavior. By them firing me, it seemed to me they weren't supportive of me if the Contractor A dude did escalate his behavior. And I have never been harassed because I don't put myself in those situations.

So I am wondering - are you required by your employer or by the contract you are working under to report in writing this kind of situations? Did you believe that this would somehow be construed as a bribe for future work or information that could reasonably effect a bidding process of some type?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original poster here.

Looking back, I think I was more concerned about the fact that I worked for Contractor A, who lost the contract to Contractor B. I was then hired by Contractor B, who did not tell me that I would be working with my former employer Contractor A. I wanted no impropriety or fraternization outside of work with Contractor A. It was a contentious relationship between the two companies, Contractor A and Contractor B. That is why I wanted to keep my Contractor B employer HR in the loop, that Contractor A was inviting me (as a date or not) outside of work for drinks and dinner, and that I politely declined and was not encouraging that behavior. By them firing me, it seemed to me they weren't supportive of me if the Contractor A dude did escalate his behavior. And I have never been harassed because I don't put myself in those situations.

Sounds more like you had a better claim for being unfairly fired due to discrimination against TO MENTAL ILLNESS !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You deserve to be fired if you reported someone for just asking you for a drink.

I have never heard anything so ridiculous.

I did not report him to HR. I simply wanted HR to know that since he worked for my previous employer, I turned him down for drinks and dinner and that I was not interested in socializing with him outside of work. I had no idea whether he would progress or escalate his invitations and I did not want my employer to think I was encouraging him.

Why can't dudes who are twenty and thirty years older than their captive office mates, find people their own age and outside of work to date?

Why can't babies like you stand your ground instead of telling on others?

You looked like an idiot. You should have said no and left it at that. But by ratting him out, you looked weak. You may have been fired either way, honey bun, but at least you weren't looking like a tattletale.

Jesus Christ

[Anonymous]

OP, you are obnoxious and I have no sympathy for you.

You should have politely declined and left it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original poster here.

Looking back, I think I was more concerned about the fact that I worked for Contractor A, who lost the contract to Contractor B. I was then hired by Contractor B, who did not tell me that I would be working with my former employer Contractor A. I wanted no impropriety or fraternization outside of work with Contractor A. It was a contentious relationship between the two companies, Contractor A and Contractor B. That is why I wanted to keep my Contractor B employer HR in the loop, that Contractor A was inviting me (as a date or not) outside of work for drinks and dinner, and that I politely declined and was not encouraging that behavior. By them firing me, it seemed to me they weren't supportive of me if the Contractor A dude did escalate his behavior. And I have never been harassed because I don't put myself in those situations.

Contractor B is well aware that they hired Contractor A. I doubt Contractor B needed your protection.

[Anonymous]

socially awkward and weird.

[Anonymous]

"HR's job is to protect to company, not you"

+++

You came across as high maintenance/makes-a-huge- deal-out-of-nothing/looking-to-sue your company..etc.

Should have just turned the person down and left it alone unless they chose to cause trouble after that. What if a female coworker invited you out? I helped a lady in Legal and she emailed me thanking me and offering to buy me a margarita saying "I owe you a drink!" I wasn't offended and she wasn't harassing me...

Where's HR Bitch to verify?