Turned a colleague down for a date, reported it to HR, and I was fired the next day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drinks and dinner with a coworker may be friendly or a date. Either way, I'm not sure why you forwarded the email rather than accepting or declining. They may have thought you wete crazy or too socially awkward for them to work with.

OP, I'm sorry, but I have to agree with assessment above. You should have accepted or declined, and leave it at that.

Now, a smart thing to do - and that's what I've learned and keep doing when the going gets iffy - would be to save that email exchange, just in case things escalate or develop in the unexpected direction further. Always have a paper trail, most likely than not nothing will happen, but if it does, you might need proof.

But reporting an email invitation to HR right off the bat? Overkill!

+1. I think you were in the wrong here. You shouldn't have been fired over it, but I can see why company B identified you as difficult.

[Anonymous]

They shouldn't have fired you, but I agree with PPs that it was a wrong move on your part. Asking someone on a date does not equal harassment.

[Anonymous]

I would have fired you as well. What a trouble maker you must be.

When you declined his invitation that was all there was to do. "In case it escalated" is simply bullshit and HR saw right through it. Emails are already backed up. If it escalated later, you could have simply forwarded his invitation and your response to anyone who inquired. Easy.

They did a great thing getting rid of you early on.

[Anonymous]

Then legitimate harassment happens and people don't take it seriously because of overreactions like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drinks and dinner with a coworker may be friendly or a date. Either way, I'm not sure why you forwarded the email rather than accepting or declining. They may have thought you wete crazy or too socially awkward for them to work with.

OP, I'm sorry, but I have to agree with assessment above. You should have accepted or declined, and leave it at that.

Now, a smart thing to do - and that's what I've learned and keep doing when the going gets iffy - would be to save that email exchange, just in case things escalate or develop in the unexpected direction further. Always have a paper trail, most likely than not nothing will happen, but if it does, you might need proof.

But reporting an email invitation to HR right off the bat? Overkill!

+1 That's a serious overreaction, OP. Unless you knew the guy from your previous gig and there were issues. And it doesn't sound like that was the case. I don't condone workplace harassment in the least, but if you think there was no other way to handle it, then I think there was no way to save your job.

This could be a total mischaracterization, but you seem high maintenance and Contractor B might have felt like it was in everyone's best interest to sever the relationship. I would be miffed that they suggested you said the job was too hard. As a contractor, they don't owe you anything other than payment for hours worked.

[Anonymous]

They got rid of you because you are high maintenance and a lawsuit waiting to happen.


There's nothing wrong with somebody asking you out. How do you think most people meet their spouses in the U.S.?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You deserve to be fired if you reported someone for just asking you for a drink.

I have never heard anything so ridiculous.

+1,000

Jesus.

[Anonymous]

I hope op leaned her lesson . I suggest reading the boy who cried wolf.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. when he asked you out, you both worked for different contractors? if so, why would you tell your hr dept?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have fired you as well. What a trouble maker you must be.

When you declined his invitation that was all there was to do. "In case it escalated" is simply bullshit and HR saw right through it. Emails are already backed up. If it escalated later, you could have simply forwarded his invitation and your response to anyone who inquired. Easy.

They did a great thing getting rid of you early on.

You better be careful, quoted poster, she may turn you into HR or to her mom.

[Anonymous]

How can someone who works for a subcontractor to OP's firm be in a position of authority over the OP who works for the prime contractor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You deserve to be fired if you reported someone for just asking you for a drink.

I have never heard anything so ridiculous.

I did not report him to HR. I simply wanted HR to know that since he worked for my previous employer, I turned him down for drinks and dinner and that I was not interested in socializing with him outside of work. I had no idea whether he would progress or escalate his invitations and I did not want my employer to think I was encouraging him.

Why can't dudes who are twenty and thirty years older than their captive office mates, find people their own age and outside of work to date?

You could have just saved the email as backup in case he persisted. It does seem a bit over reactionary to go to HR unless he wasn't taking no for an answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

They got rid of you because you are high maintenance and a lawsuit waiting to happen.


There's nothing wrong with somebody asking you out. How do you think most people meet their spouses in the U.S.?

This is what I was thinking. You weren't worth the headache to them.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if the OP is from another culture and perhaps doesn't understand what harassment is?

[Anonymous]

OP, if the person who asked you out worked for Contractor A, what was the HR Department at Contractor B supposed to do about his asking you out on a date?

Here's the situation. Someone out in the world asked you out on a date. You declined. You reported that fact to your HR department. I think they decided you were loony-tunes.

At the same time, somewhere along the way, they got the impression (right or wrong), that the job was too difficult for you. They have documentation of you saying or acting as if it it were. They fired you for that cover story and doubtless have documentation to back it up.

Lessons learned for you OP: HR is not there to monitor your social life at the organization. If you have a serious problem, consider -- consider -- reaching out to HR. The fact that you turned down a date is not a serious problem.