Why do black people self-segregate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

+1000

You're so unbelievably stupid. Black people congregate with other blacks to feel the level of ease that you are privileged to have EVERY DAMN DAY. You are CONSTANTLY surrounded by people of your race. Its not hard for you to find someone with whom you have a shared experience, outlook, or background. The same is not so easily found for most minorities.

Given that enormous chip on your shoulder, I have to wonder, do you realize there are many countries you could move to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Well there you go. Did you ever think we are being nice to be nice? Because we want to find out more about you and be friends?

Instead of waiting for an invite to the SE DC BBQ, how about you just throw one and invite us? We don't bite... But we will make fun of your attempt to make soul food.

I threw out an invite to a group of friends to go camping. There were also two friends of friends that I invited as I had gotten to know them a bit, they seemed fun and adding them seemed like a good fit for the group. one of them was a black woman. When I invited her she basically broke out into gales of laughter telling me "black people don't sleep in tents and black people don't swim in lakes". She basically make fun of the fact that I had invited a 'black person to go camping' as that demonstrated to her I knew nothing about 'black people'. Anyways I am sure some black people do camp and do swim in lakes but her reaction made me hesitate to invite her to anything again, and made me very self conscious about inviting people where I might be breaking some unknown racial norm.

[Anonymous]

White folks stupid, gotta educate on every reference break down every joke, explain every analogy...shit is tiring rather isolate among ourselves than deal with their dumb asses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is typical of all races. My friend circle is literally half and half. Most of us are married to the opposite race. A lot of it seems to depend on where you grew up. I grew up in downtown STL city as one of the handful of white people in school. People who live in STL county DO NOT mix under any circumstance.

Except in the St. Louis suburb of University City, which is 50.8% white and 49.2% non-white.

- proud University City native

[Anonymous]

I am white and I do understand what you are saying...and I do agree that people of the same ethnicity/religion/background tend to stick together.

but I have been able to make very close freinds who are AA. Only a few times in my lifetime though.

My roommate in grad school was black and we became close friends and she had lots of non-AA friends. However, there were not many AAs in our grad school..not sure if this made a difference or not.

I also became very close to a coworker who is AA. We did not have any other AA coworkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Well there you go. Did you ever think we are being nice to be nice? Because we want to find out more about you and be friends?

Instead of waiting for an invite to the SE DC BBQ, how about you just throw one and invite us? We don't bite... But we will make fun of your attempt to make soul food.

I threw out an invite to a group of friends to go camping. There were also two friends of friends that I invited as I had gotten to know them a bit, they seemed fun and adding them seemed like a good fit for the group. one of them was a black woman. When I invited her she basically broke out into gales of laughter telling me "black people don't sleep in tents and black people don't swim in lakes". She basically make fun of the fact that I had invited a 'black person to go camping' as that demonstrated to her I knew nothing about 'black people'. Anyways I am sure some black people do camp and do swim in lakes but her reaction made me hesitate to invite her to anything again, and made me very self conscious about inviting people where I might be breaking some unknown racial norm.

As a black person who does the things you describe, I have to say, generally what she said is true. My friends and family think I'm nuts. I've also heard "black people don't ice skate!" "Black people don't ski" and "black people don't eat sushi!" She wasn't making fun of you, this is just how we joke. She didn't want to go camping, but it wasn't a personal slight. You could try again and invite her to something black people "do".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think African Americans are unique in this. Latinos do it too (even ones who are assimilated and speak English). I mean, they're friendly, but contained. It's human nature, I guess.

I grew up with many Latinos and this is certainly not true. In fact DH is Latino and I don't think he has any Latino friends. Latino who do self segregate do so due to language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

+1000

You're so unbelievably stupid. Black people congregate with other blacks to feel the level of ease that you are privileged to have EVERY DAMN DAY. You are CONSTANTLY surrounded by people of your race. Its not hard for you to find someone with whom you have a shared experience, outlook, or background. The same is not so easily found for most minorities.

Given that enormous chip on your shoulder, I have to wonder, do you realize there are many countries you could move to?

See this is why we don't like you! Nothing I said indicated a "chip" on my shoulder. I said nothing more than the truth. You don't understand the desire to be with people like yourself, because you are always with people like yourself. We are drawn to each other to meet a need that you don't even realize you have. I promise you that if you found yourself a minority in another country, you might make friends with natives of that country, but you would relish an opportunity to be with someone like you, who speaks your language, eats your food, and understands your jokes. Black people have our own "culture" in the same way Asians have a culture, Latinos have a culture, etc.

[Anonymous]

I work with about 30-40% AA, 50% white, and 10-20% Asian - both east and west. I notice that AA coworkers are invited to and attend the housewarming, holiday, and other parties white coworkers have - but do not invite white coworkers over. How integrated the Asians are depends mostly on how many generations they have been in the US rather than country of origin. We are all upper middle class and college educated. I have noticed it, but I am not offended.

Here is a recent article from Slate that points out that the desire to stay close to other AA families may limit economic mobility in the AA community. I found it interesting because when I lived in Chicago I noticed that my AA coworkers who moved to Chicago from other places tended to live in predominantly AA neighborhoods even though they were transplants / newcomers and could presumably have chosen to live in "whiter" neighborhoods with neighbors more similar to them in terms of education and earning power.

The Single Fact That Explains Why Black Americans Have Such a Hard Time Climbing the Economic Ladder
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2014/04/desean_jackson_richard_sherman_and_black_american_economic_mobility_why.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White folks stupid, gotta educate on every reference break down every joke, explain every analogy...shit is tiring rather isolate among ourselves than deal with their dumb asses.

This is the reason I have always been given. In those situations, self-segregation does seem practical.

[Anonymous]

Self-preservation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

+1000

You're so unbelievably stupid. Black people congregate with other blacks to feel the level of ease that you are privileged to have EVERY DAMN DAY. You are CONSTANTLY surrounded by people of your race. Its not hard for you to find someone with whom you have a shared experience, outlook, or background. The same is not so easily found for most minorities.

Given that enormous chip on your shoulder, I have to wonder, do you realize there are many countries you could move to?

See this is why we don't like you! Nothing I said indicated a "chip" on my shoulder. I said nothing more than the truth. You don't understand the desire to be with people like yourself, because you are always with people like yourself. We are drawn to each other to meet a need that you don't even realize you have. I promise you that if you found yourself a minority in another country, you might make friends with natives of that country, but you would relish an opportunity to be with someone like you, who speaks your language, eats your food, and understands your jokes. Black people have our own "culture" in the same way Asians have a culture, Latinos have a culture, etc.

I get what you're saying and I feel like every "minority" gets it. I'm not AA but rather Indian and Muslim. I'm not so religious, nor am I so into Indian culture, but it's comforting to be around people who look like me and have a similar background. As educated and second gen as I am, I am not white and Caucasians don't look at me as white -- all it takes is a comment from some other well educated person saying "how often do you go back home." To the PP who said we can go live someplace else -- actually we can't. If you think I fit in in India or the PP fits in in an African country after being born and raised in the US, you've got to be kidding -- we have a unique view of being a minority in the US which only other US born minorities can understand.

[Anonymous]

I don't think white folks understand just how taxing being a minority is in this country. White people always eyeing you funny, smiling at you all scared-like, clutching their purses unconsciously and damn near snatching their kids away from you ALL DAY EVERY DAY. The shit never stops whether I'm on the Metro or on the elevator to my office or in line to get my muthaf#kin morning coffee just like everybody else white folks always flinching and grinning simultaneously...it's f#king unnerving. I don't wanna be around that shit any longer than I have to.

[Anonymous]

Asian posse. I suspect as white folks, we can't appreciate being the minority and not automatically in a high status position (esp for white males).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Genuine question, NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE. I'm just perplexed that the AA community in my experience tends to be so cliquey and only socializes among themselves. I see this all the time in the workplace, and I saw it in college too. I mean, black fraternities and black sororities in college was understandable, because the AA community had to endure the Jim Crow era and most other minority groups emigrated to America after the civil rights movement. But while I've always managed to establish surface-friendly connections with black classmates and black colleagues, it's not like they invite me to movies or summer barbeques or get drinks with me every week - but classmates and colleagues of other races intermingle so easily. (I'm a white female, early thirties, married to a white male).

Even if you look at Silicon Valley (where we lived before moving to DC), you see every race intermingling and starting companies and new products in the tech industry, except from the AA community.

Is it self-segregation? AA people live in their own bubble and their own sub-culture and don't really come out of it. And they view you with wariness and a sense of uncertainty even when you're being really nice and friendly to them, and they're being nice and friendly back to you - but still that uncertainty is there and you can see it in their eyes. "Like, who is this girl? I don't feel comfortable talking to her." I've had that experience repeatedly with AA women - never with women of other groups.

Again, I'm NOT trying to offend, this is just something that I have observed personally.

Why do they need a black nurses union? Why not just a nurses union?