Why do black people self-segregate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Genuine question, NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE. I'm just perplexed that the AA community in my experience tends to be so cliquey and only socializes among themselves. I see this all the time in the workplace, and I saw it in college too. I mean, black fraternities and black sororities in college was understandable, because the AA community had to endure the Jim Crow era and most other minority groups emigrated to America after the civil rights movement. But while I've always managed to establish surface-friendly connections with black classmates and black colleagues, it's not like they invite me to movies or summer barbeques or get drinks with me every week - but classmates and colleagues of other races intermingle so easily. (I'm a white female, early thirties, married to a white male).

Even if you look at Silicon Valley (where we lived before moving to DC), you see every race intermingling and starting companies and new products in the tech industry, except from the AA community.

Is it self-segregation? AA people live in their own bubble and their own sub-culture and don't really come out of it. And they view you with wariness and a sense of uncertainty even when you're being really nice and friendly to them, and they're being nice and friendly back to you - but still that uncertainty is there and you can see it in their eyes. "Like, who is this girl? I don't feel comfortable talking to her." I've had that experience repeatedly with AA women - never with women of other groups.

Again, I'm NOT trying to offend, this is just something that I have observed personally.

Ain't nobody stopping you from getting to know people don't gimme that bullshit about curious glares and odd stares, if you lighten your own ass up you can run your mouth all day long and have a decent conversation with anybody - black, white, blue, green, whatever. It's muthaf#kas like you that perpetuate segregation cause you swear others are just soooo different and the barriers that separate people are just soooo enormous. Please...
You got kids the lady next door got kids what the hell more do you need in common? You got corns the lady in your office got corns what's stopping y'all from chatting? Oh...that's right...you want black people to strike up a conversation with you...you want the colored folk to engage you and embrace you...you want them n#ggers to love them some massa. Lol - look if you concentrate on the race as a whole then you're gonna look AT blacks as things and if you look at people like they are things then you got damn right they will look at you with some uncertainty in their eyes. Look at people for who they are as a person, respect them as an individual and they will embrace you more.

What kind of school did you attend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

youngblackdude wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Lol

White gal here. This is so true! I tend to feel this white guilt for all past injustices against blacks and find myself over-compensating.

As a white woman, this attitude makes me cringe.

really?

So you think about lynching and Jim Crow laws each time you bump into a black person?

dear God

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

youngblackdude wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

youngblackdude wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Lol

White gal here. This is so true! I tend to feel this white guilt for all past injustices against blacks and find myself over-compensating.

Be yourself ...you owe us nothing

No... They owe me a raise.

They?

The Man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

youngblackdude wrote:

Anonymous wrote:African American woman here. I find that white people try VERY hard to act nice to me/us, as if they feel they have to be nice to us for lynching our people way back in the day. It's ok, I forgive, now act normal.

Lol

White gal here. This is so true! I tend to feel this white guilt for all past injustices against blacks and find myself over-compensating.

As a white woman, this attitude makes me cringe.

really?

So you think about lynching and Jim Crow laws each time you bump into a black person?

dear God

First, I fully agree with you. Dear God.

Second, judging by how often AAs mention lynching and Crow in DCUM to justify current behavior, I can understand PP's confusion.

[Anonymous]

No white guilt here. If you're nice to me, I'm nice to you, period. I'm not overcompensating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

+1000

[Anonymous]

You know the expression the "White Man's Burden" that is used to describe the guilt of slavery? Well there's a yin to every yang. Self-segregation is a side effect of the "Black Man's Burden" which describes the guilt of the skin he's in. It's a white world. Been that way since blacks first set foot on these shores and while shit ain't as bad as it used to be its still some shit. It's a white mans world and blacks find the strength to survive it emotionally and psychologically as well as advance is by embracing their exclusion and always being wary of white folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know the expression the "White Man's Burden" that is used to describe the guilt of slavery? Well there's a yin to every yang. Self-segregation is a side effect of the "Black Man's Burden" which describes the guilt of the skin he's in. It's a white world. Been that way since blacks first set foot on these shores and while shit ain't as bad as it used to be its still some shit. It's a white mans world and blacks find the strength to survive it emotionally and psychologically as well as advance is by embracing their exclusion and always being wary of white folks.

That is not what white mans burden means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know the expression the "White Man's Burden" that is used to describe the guilt of slavery? Well there's a yin to every yang. Self-segregation is a side effect of the "Black Man's Burden" which describes the guilt of the skin he's in. It's a white world. Been that way since blacks first set foot on these shores and while shit ain't as bad as it used to be its still some shit. It's a white mans world and blacks find the strength to survive it emotionally and psychologically as well as advance is by embracing their exclusion and always being wary of white folks.

That is not what white mans burden means.

But if your ancestors were ill-treated, you have the right to make up the meanings of any expression you want. That's called Black Power.

[Anonymous]

I'll be honest. I find it difficult to relate to and to fully trust white people. I feel like I have to watch my every word around you, lest I be judged or bring down judgement on my entire race. When a white person does something foolish, they represent no one but themselves. When a black person does something foolish, its attributed to the whole race, because there are usually only a few of us. I have a bad day and I a black woman with an attitude. I make a grammatical error, and I speak ebonics. I wear a shirt with a bold print, its ghetto fab. I wear my natural hair down, its unprofessional.

When I'm around white people, I feel like I'm on stage. In my free time, I want to be comfortable and myself, so my close friends tend to be other minorities, or white people that I've known for a long time and have made clear that they accept and understand me.

[Anonymous]

I know lots of nice white people that I am friendly with. We socialize but I cannot say that I can connect emotionally with them. I find them intrinsically self focused and hardened. I find their relationship with their parents, siblings, kids - distant. Even the most functional families have this dysfunction. It astounds, disturbs and scares me. Their friendly outward persona makes me suspicious of them, because I do not see any emotional integrity behind that facade. Their capability to move on easily in the even of a death, divorce, breakup - may be a necessity of their culture, society, family dynamics or even a sigh of their independence and maturity - but it makes them seem less than intact to me.

I am Asian. I tend to not count on them or depend on them, even if I make myself accessible to them for the same. Many of them count me as their close friend, based on the fact that I will come through for them again and again. But this is because of my cultural training. I want to oblige but not be under anyone's obligation. I am so sure that in times of need they will not come through for me and so I am not emotionally invested in them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How come when a group of friends get together who happen to be black it's called "SELF SEGREGATION" but when a group of white people get together it's called a luau or a backyard bbq?

or a klan meeting

I love DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black people prefer to be with their own people. White people can't do that. It's racist.

+1000

You're so unbelievably stupid. Black people congregate with other blacks to feel the level of ease that you are privileged to have EVERY DAMN DAY. You are CONSTANTLY surrounded by people of your race. Its not hard for you to find someone with whom you have a shared experience, outlook, or background. The same is not so easily found for most minorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How come when a group of friends get together who happen to be black it's called "SELF SEGREGATION" but when a group of white people get together it's called a luau or a backyard bbq?

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know lots of nice white people that I am friendly with. We socialize but I cannot say that I can connect emotionally with them. I find them intrinsically self focused and hardened. I find their relationship with their parents, siblings, kids - distant. Even the most functional families have this dysfunction. It astounds, disturbs and scares me. Their friendly outward persona makes me suspicious of them, because I do not see any emotional integrity behind that facade. Their capability to move on easily in the even of a death, divorce, breakup - may be a necessity of their culture, society, family dynamics or even a sigh of their independence and maturity - but it makes them seem less than intact to me.

I am Asian. I tend to not count on them or depend on them, even if I make myself accessible to them for the same. Many of them count me as their close friend, based on the fact that I will come through for them again and again. But this is because of my cultural training. I want to oblige but not be under anyone's obligation. I am so sure that in times of need they will not come through for me and so I am not emotionally invested in them.

I'm the PP above you, and I totally agree with this. I could never pin point why I don't fully trust them, but I think it is that they seem very fake, and selfish to me. My mother, a black woman who grew up in the civil rights era, was always talking about white entitlement when I was growing up. I didn't understand, but as an adult I completely do. They feel entitled to things that I would never think I have a "right" to.