Where to find a WASP husband

[Anonymous]

^ bahaha

[Anonymous]

Do NOT date anyone from an old South family. Just don't. Don't don't don't.

[Anonymous]

True old WASP families are slowly dying out. There are certainly some left, and some subset of those are wealthy, but most are finding that their trust funds can't keep up with dotcom money. The big houses on Nantucket and in the Hamptons are being built/purchased by new money. If what the OP wants is new money, then I would suggest a profession like event planning or real estate. Wealthy new money guys just want wives who will take care of the details and make their lives easier.

Now if you want a guy who is a traditional preppy, but without a large amount of money, then I would start by watching the films of Whit Stilman. Those are the guys you are after. I second the suggestion to take up sailing. You'll also want to start spending summers in Maine. You might also try the Smithsonian resident associates programs.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm... I find many of these responses silly and unrealistic but maybe the wasps that actually wear the bow ties are the most stereotypical insufferable types who are trying to design a pretend reality. I know a great many wasps and though, yes, in some cases they have intermarried, in others they have married people of other races and religions, every one you can think of.

FWIW, I am not a wasp, nor did I grow up with money, but I went to school (middle, high school, college) with a lot of old money, New England wasp families and have remained friends with many. I think the biggest issue, OP, isn't race but rather that you aren't already a part of the inner circle. I think that this crowd likes to spend time with people it already knows or, at the very least, with people who are totally immersed and well-versed in its culture. It is hard to break in from the outside. I think that this is the reason people find wasps so snobby and exclusionary even though I didn't have this experience at all! I actually found them totally accepting and open to difference and to very real friendship... so long as I wasn't put off by people asking me where I did I "summer" and other such very presumptuous questions! But how does one break into this world post-prep school and college?? I am not saying it can't be done, but it isn't easy because I think a lot of that crowd is pretty closed off st this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought you said you were from Nigeria or somewhere in Africa on your other thread? You sure get around.

+1 Just knew we wouldn't make it through the holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an AA female, late twenties, well educated, in a white collar profession making 75k+ and born and brought up in DC. My parents were both teachers and I became exposed to WASP culture only after college (I went to an HBC). Now I am really enamored by that culture and lifestyle, The Great Gatsby kind of people. The kind of guys who live in Georgetown or Chevy Chase and wear pink bow ties and Brooks Brothers and belong to country clubs and wear tennis whites to the court.

Do these kinds of guys date black women? Where do I meet these guys? What do they look for in a wife? It's not MONEY I'm after, just that culture and lifestyle.

Please don't reply if you just want to criticize me. You're entitled to your opinion, and I'm entitled to my preferences. Don't respond to this thread if you just want to boast about how you didn't marry for superficial reasons - good for you. You are not me. Don't reply to this thread if that's all you've got to say.

If you have answers to my questions ("Do these kinds of guys date black women? Where do I meet these guys? What do they look for in a wife?") or if you are a man who fits this criteria and want to share some insights, I'd love to hear from you!

I'm going to give it to you straight. Unless you're a Lena Horne or Dorothy Dandridge type, then give up the fantasy quick before your feelings get hurt. If you're light bright and look damn near white, then there is a window of opportunity for you. Sometimes even women who resemble Lena Horne aren't even accepted into certain WASP circles especially the southern ones. If you don't come from a pedigree of wealth, then it will be extremely difficult to enter into a WASP circle. You may want to entertain the circles of elitists' AA's here in DC first to get a taste of what the culture is like. Read Otis Graham's "Our Kind of People :Inside of America's Black Upper Class". See if this is the type of lifestyle that you really want.

By the way, there are tons of interracial dating/marriage sites. I highly recommend European men over the men here in the states. You could find a wealthy white man who doesn't have the characteristics of a WASP. The WASP and black elite culture here in America are extremely exclusive and brutal towards those who are not like them.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever dated out of your race, OP? I come from a similar background (AA woman, from DC, educated) and the white guys I've dated have all been "new money". I think they are the most compatible with us, frankly, and the easiest to meet. I wasn't intentionally looking for a WM or someone of means, but they were making great money. One I met at an Obama rally in '08, one I met through Eharmony, another I met at a bar in Tysons. I think that your window to meet stereotypical WASPy types in Chevy Chase are pretty narrow. You're coming into the game too late to assimilate. And why would you want to? The beauty of being a woman is you can probably get your future husband to move to any neighborhood, assuming you all can afford it. The guys I met were living in Tysons/Arlington/Ashburn, but I'm sure they would've moved to Bethesda to make a future wife happy. Also, new money probably has far less hangups about introducing an AA woman to the family. If anything, I found that I wasn't ready to introduce a WM to my family. (FYI - My family would accept anyone, but they are not very PC with the jokes. AT ALL.)

[Anonymous]

OP, probably not, is the truth. If they will date you, it'll just be to use you to piss off their families, but once their trusts are threatened they'll dump you. I'm sorry.

But you can totally find a nice black guy who is preppy and make him wear bow ties and other things Carlton Banks would do.

[Anonymous]

If you find Old Black Money to be boring, etc., why do you think Old White Money's going to be any different?

Other PPs have suggested things to do that might improve your chances with either Old Money people or New Money with aspirations.

I assume you include Middleburg VA in your outings.

OTOH, don't be too mean to the grubby-dressed people there. Some of them could buy and sell you 10x over and others may not have gone past 8th grade and don't have indoor plumbing.

[Anonymous]

My husband slept with a couple black women but would never of married them.

[Anonymous]

Thank god I'm married.

I can't even imagine all the hell and headache single men out there are going thru trying to find a sane and sensible woman who isn't selfish sanctified or shallow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband slept with a couple black women but would never of married them.

And he is currently sleeping with one now and supporting her fabulous lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

I know an equal opportunity racist who will not marry Blacks, Muslims or Whites.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is obsolete.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm all for you expanding your options and marrying who you want. However, you're sort of late to the party and you're limiting yourself in regards to the old money guys. Most women who want these type of men have been groom from birth and find them at the various social functions that they attend. Old money families only associate with other old money families. They keep a tight leash on their children and raise them in a bubble. Like someone mentioned above, why not try to connect with new money men or just men who you have things in common with? Why limit yourself with a pool of men that are beyond your reach? There are many upper class and educated men of various ethnicities who don't belong to the old money crowd. I understand where you're coming from and that you want to have a certain lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with that. I just think that you could find that lifestyle without going through the hassle of having a WASP husband.

I recommend that you read, "Swirling How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race, Culture, and Creed" by Christelyn D Karazin and Janice Rhoshalle Littlejohn. Also, Christelyn has a blog specially for African American who are interracially married or who date interracially called, "Beyond Black and White" http://www.beyondblackwhite.com and there is Facebook page as well. I think it would be great for you to connect with other African American women who are interracially married.


Checkout Date Who You Want http://www.datewhoyouwant.com

Also, checkout the Loving Day http://www.lovingday.org website. We have a big Loving Day celebration in NYC every June. If you don't mind the travel, we have tons of Loving Day workshops and events in NYC throughout the year. I honestly think the folks in NYC don't have as many hangups about interracial relationships like the folks here in DC do.

Goodluck OP!