Trying to get a Harvard husband in Boston

[Anonymous]

Pp...i am the same age as OP. I have neither asked, nor do I care, where my friends' significant others have gone to school. They are all very successful people but I tend to judge people on more important criteria. Op just sounds immature, stupid, and shallow. Qualities that any good Harvard guy is not going to be interested in.

[Anonymous]

11:18 here. You guys are being pretty hard on OP, she didn't say she would never marry anyone except a Harvard grad -- she'd just like to meet someone and to know some places where she might stack the deck in her favor that the dude won't be a loser. That's not overly fastidious, it is smart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just trying to picture OP at a bar...

Talking to guy 1:
OP: So what do you do?
Guy1: I'm an investment banker
OP: Oh, where did you go to school?
Guy1: Northwestern undergrad and grad
OP: Oh, well it was nice to meet you

Talking to guy 2:
OP: So, what do you do?
Guy1: I'm a cardiac surgeon
OP: Where did you go to med school?
Guy1: Tufts
OP: Nice to meet you but I have to go

Talking to guy 3:
OP: And what do you do?
Guy3: I'm a lawyer
OP: What law school did you go to?
Guy3: BC Law
OP: Well I have to go.

OP here and I laughed out loud at this. I will freely admit that my quest for a crimson husband is a little absurd. But we are all absurd in some way.

Perhaps. But you are talking about a husband, which has much more serous consequences than being "absurd" about say music or food someone likes. I advise that you snap out of this ASAP. Finding a good man to marry is hard enough without imposing arbitrary limits. Btw, I have a Harvard degree, DH doesn't. We are in our 40s and nobody cares who went to what school. That's important only for early twenties crowd. You need to grow out of it, lest you end without any husband at all.

Bingo. I'm 36, and most people don't care about who went where. And my experience is that the people who do still care in their 30s and beyond are vapid and superficial and make for horrible company.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are at the perfect age to meet a husband. But don't concentrate on the guys that are in grad school. Better to meet a guy that is about 30-35 and working in the Boston area. There are lots of young professionals that went to many great schools but have schooling behind them and are ready for the next step.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm just trying to picture OP at a bar...

Talking to guy 1:
OP: So what do you do?
Guy1: I'm an investment banker
OP: Oh, where did you go to school?
Guy1: Northwestern undergrad and grad
OP: Oh, well it was nice to meet you

Talking to guy 2:
OP: So, what do you do?
Guy1: I'm a cardiac surgeon
OP: Where did you go to med school?
Guy1: Tufts
OP: Nice to meet you but I have to go

Talking to guy 3:
OP: And what do you do?
Guy3: I'm a lawyer
OP: What law school did you go to?
Guy3: BC Law
OP: Well I have to go.

OP here and I laughed out loud at this. I will freely admit that my quest for a crimson husband is a little absurd. But we are all absurd in some way.

Perhaps. But you are talking about a husband, which has much more serous consequences than being "absurd" about say music or food someone likes. I advise that you snap out of this ASAP. Finding a good man to marry is hard enough without imposing arbitrary limits. Btw, I have a Harvard degree, DH doesn't. We are in our 40s and nobody cares who went to what school. That's important only for early twenties crowd. You need to grow out of it, lest you end without any husband at all.

Bingo. I'm 36, and most people don't care about who went where. And my experience is that the people who do still care in their 30s and beyond are vapid and superficial and make for horrible company.

And are probably losers who haven't done anything since going to Harvard. Have an acquaintance who wnt to an Ivy but has been nothing but a SAHM but lords it over everyone how she wet to an Ivy!

[Anonymous]

I am married to a double h bomb degree holder. I met him in my late 30s. It's nice and all, but I married a person, not a degree holder. Plus, I could hold my own. As other posters say, I'm not sure those currently in school are actually in the right frame of mind to be with someone looking for an M.R.S. degree.

[Anonymous]

Ok, so I have listened to the advice in this thread with interest. I think there are truths in everything you are saying. I think I can approach this more light-heartedly than, "it MUST be a Harvard husband or nothing!" I just feel, I'm in Boston so what so I lose by giving it a shot? As some random woman once said, "you can fall in love with a rich man as easily as with a poor man."

I do think I have some unhealthy hang ups maybe. I think they just seem like a challenge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, so I have listened to the advice in this thread with interest. I think there are truths in everything you are saying. I think I can approach this more light-heartedly than, "it MUST be a Harvard husband or nothing!" I just feel, I'm in Boston so what so I lose by giving it a shot? As some random woman once said, "you can fall in love with a rich man as easily as with a poor man."

I do think I have some unhealthy hang ups maybe. I think they just seem like a challenge

Op, I have been married for a while and my advice to you is marry a kind guy that will treat you well and work hard for the family. If you don't have that, a marriage will never last. Everything you think is the most important when you are young will fall away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, so I have listened to the advice in this thread with interest. I think there are truths in everything you are saying. I think I can approach this more light-heartedly than, "it MUST be a Harvard husband or nothing!" I just feel, I'm in Boston so what so I lose by giving it a shot? As some random woman once said, "you can fall in love with a rich man as easily as with a poor man."

I do think I have some unhealthy hang ups maybe. I think they just seem like a challenge

Unless you are specifically avoiding Harvard men, you already are giving it a chance. Just understand that it might not happen.

I had some of the Harvard hang up as well. I was admitted to Stanford and Harvard PhD programs and chose Harvard though it was not as good of a program. Now, I am cured . If you are so into Harvard, why don't you try to get in yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, so I have listened to the advice in this thread with interest. I think there are truths in everything you are saying. I think I can approach this more light-heartedly than, "it MUST be a Harvard husband or nothing!" I just feel, I'm in Boston so what so I lose by giving it a shot? As some random woman once said, "you can fall in love with a rich man as easily as with a poor man."

I do think I have some unhealthy hang ups maybe. I think they just seem like a challenge

I agree - why not??

I love smart men!

I liked the church idea. I was raised Catholic and though I am no longer practicing, men who are Catholic and attend church regularly do seem marriage minded.

[Anonymous]

You sound dumb, naive, and immature. No Harvard guy is going to want to date someone like that, let alone date her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are at the perfect age to meet a husband. But don't concentrate on the guys that are in grad school. Better to meet a guy that is about 30-35 and working in the Boston area. There are lots of young professionals that went to many great schools but have schooling behind them and are ready for the next step.

There are very few single desirable men in that age group. MY DH, HL was the only unmarried guy in his whole law firm at age 30. We had a long engagement. By age 35 a successful guy has two young kids, is in the middle of a divorce, or is really a player. You need to get your hooks in while he is in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just trying to picture OP at a bar...

Talking to guy 1:
OP: So what do you do?
Guy1: I'm an investment banker
OP: Oh, where did you go to school?
Guy1: Northwestern undergrad and grad
OP: Oh, well it was nice to meet you

Talking to guy 2:
OP: So, what do you do?
Guy1: I'm a cardiac surgeon
OP: Where did you go to med school?
Guy1: Tufts
OP: Nice to meet you but I have to go

Talking to guy 3:
OP: And what do you do?
Guy3: I'm a lawyer
OP: What law school did you go to?
Guy3: BC Law
OP: Well I have to go.

I read this in the manner of "I Want My Hat Back" and am waiting for the twist!

[Anonymous]

OP, what would happen if you found this Harvard man, get married, then a few years down the road he decides his days of commuting and sitting behind a desk all day are over.

Mr. Harvard announces he is forsaking Big Gig and settling on a large farm, gonna live off the land. He gets a tractor, some chickens, goats, sheep, pigs, and cows and goes at it.

You observe Mr. Harvard is no longer the pinch-faced, stressed out man you are accustomed to but a happy, smiling, guy who has found something he is truly happy doing.

He trades in the BMW for a pick-up truck, trades in his Gucci shoes and suit for a pair of work boots and bib-overalls.

He is still smart and all the bills are paid but he has decided, kind of like in Green Acres, that city life isn't for him.

Will you still stay married to him, knowing he is smart and educated, and that he is able to provide for the family, or will you dump him because the fantasy Cinderella life you have in your mind is no longer valid.

Will you shovel the manure for him? Will you get up at the crack of dawn and milk cows with him?

Or will you hoist your Gold Digger flag and sail away?

[Anonymous]

So which is it? The guys in grad school are still just into hooking up and their studies or they are all taken by age 30. At what age is a guy ready for serious relationship?