Secret of Jewish parenting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go back to the Holocaust. Even in the concentration camps, Jews were still educating themselves and others.

Jews (I am one) know education is key to success, and that you never stop learning. Jews also tend to be rather pragmatic about career choices, encouraging their children to enter fields that have a future.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. If you're stereotyping Jews -- which you are -- then you are part of the problem.

But, see, stereotypes are based in truth. And there is some truth to what PP wrote. There is nothing wrong with making statements that are, by and large, true.

Not every Jew fits the stereotype, of course. But learning is deeply rooted in the Jewish culture and PPs are suggesting that that translates to high expectations, love of learning, and academic success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And there is a strong sense of community so we help one another. This ranges from hosting college students for dinner, assisting during hardships, to helping peers acquire employment

Does this strong sense of community come from being involved in a synogage? Do secular Jews have this same sense of community with other Jews? Admittedly, I don't know many Jews, but the ones I have known have been very secular. I didn't think there were too many religious Jews still around.

Many many Jews I know prefer to associate with other Jews. Unrelated to synagogue.

I still find it a novelty to have Jewish friends because I rarely had any growing up. Hated the kids at my synagogue. College was the first place I found Jewish friends I liked. I have to admit most of our couple friends are Jewish or half-Jewish because they have known my husband from way back, and he grew up in a heavily Jewish area. My individual friends, from before I met my husband or from my work place, tend not to be Jewish. In fact, now that I think about it, my only individual Jewish friends are my two college roommates, and we're not even close anymore.

Like any other shared trait, there are cultural similarities that make it easy to bond with fellow Jews. No need to explain dietary restrictions or holidays, for example. On the other hand, it can be boring. I was close to a Muslim woman in law school and we found each others' holidays endlessly fascinating. Had to stay off certain political topics though.

I don't know that I otherwise have felt a strong sense of community outside of the synagogue. There is still a lingering sense that if one prominent Jew does something bad, it reflects poorly on Jews as a whole. Though I think this is dissipating; I haven't heard many nasty remarks about Anthony Weiner and his Jewishness, for example. And I do still perk up slightly, for about 1/2 second, when someone points out that a person who has done an impressive thing is Jewish. But I doubt my younger cousins even notice. Then again they have been raised with virtually no Jewish education, so there is that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go back to the Holocaust. Even in the concentration camps, Jews were still educating themselves and others.

Jews (I am one) know education is key to success, and that you never stop learning. Jews also tend to be rather pragmatic about career choices, encouraging their children to enter fields that have a future.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. If you're stereotyping Jews -- which you are -- then you are part of the problem.

But, see, stereotypes are based in truth. And there is some truth to what PP wrote. There is nothing wrong with making statements that are, by and large, true.

Not every Jew fits the stereotype, of course. But learning is deeply rooted in the Jewish culture and PPs are suggesting that that translates to high expectations, love of learning, and academic success.

Stereotypes are based in truth? All stereotypes? And they are by and large true?

How about that.

Have you seen these 31 prejudice maps?

http://www.boredpanda.com/mapping-stereotypes/

(They start with US stereotypes of the rest of the world, but if you keep going, there are lots of other countries' stereotypes too.)

[Anonymous]

OP, it has only been two generations of relative academic and financial success.
Before 1940, many Jews were actually stereotyped as being poor, uneducated, and more likely to be involved in crimes like graft, organized crime, and prostitution. Just goes to show that opportunities can make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Oh hello there. Jewish single mom with an art degree making five figures here.

I have not read the whole thread.
We're into education in my family. We don't care what field. Just do it passionately and well. Education's its own reward. Our family has the fiscal power to attend public school and maybe a sport or instrument on the side.

So, uh, not sure where that falls in with the sterotype.

[Anonymous]

I know some Jews and they're not successful. At least, not more successful than the average Joe. The idea that all Jews are successful is...interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it has only been two generations of relative academic and financial success.
Before 1940, many Jews were actually stereotyped as being poor, uneducated, and more likely to be involved in crimes like graft, organized crime, and prostitution. Just goes to show that opportunities can make a difference.

I've in "Outliers" Gladwell was saying that Jews that immigrated to American were skilled in trades and didn't work as day labourers, construction workers, etc. like Irish or Italians. Jews started their businesses.

Gladwell said a typical Jewish family would look like this: 1st generation - started a garment business and work very hard; 2nd generations - worked in father's business; 3rd generation mostly became doctors and lawyers. Because that's what was encouraged.

[Anonymous]

Another interesting thing is that the Tiger Mom wrote in her book that only the original generation of immigrants and their children work incredible hard to become successful. I.e. 1st and 2nd generations are overachievers.

The 3rd generation DOES NOT, they get lazy and become underachievers. That's why she decided to work on her daughters.

I haven't seen this in Jewish families. It seems that they overachieve consistently generation after generation.

[Anonymous]

In Israel they are less competitive than in places where they are minorities.

[Anonymous]

No need to spank, just threaten to serve mustard with the Matzos

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In Israel they are less competitive than in places where they are minorities.

Not true at all. There is a reason why Israel most engineers and among the most lawyers highest per capita in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Israel they are less competitive than in places where they are minorities.

Not true at all. There is a reason why Israel most engineers and among the most lawyers highest per capita in the world.

and per capita, Israel has more nobel lauretes than the US.

AND, Only four countries in the world have more science nobel prizes than Israel. This doesn't even factor in the fact that the country is only 65 years old and has a population of around 7 million.

[Anonymous]

PP- I know MANY Jewish conservatives, myself included. Mostly very wealthy. See for example the hawks have been governing in Israel for how long? American Jews are mostly Democrats, BUT, many vote against their best interests when voting Democratic. That tendency to vote Dem can be traced back to the civil-rights era, which is ironic. I will agree with this thread that most Jewish people I know are high-achievers (law, finance,drs, etc.), prefer to associate with Jews, abd look out for ourselves first. To be honest, I at least view it as an us vs. them. This is NOT to say I dislike or have ANY prejudice against non-Jews. I believe we have to stick together bc at the end of the day, we are the only ones who look out for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In Israel they are less competitive than in places where they are minorities.

I grew up Jewish in USSR, and in my family there was a sense that to do as well as a non-Jewish person (get the same award, be accepted into the same college) you had to do not just better, but 10 times better. In the course of my childhood, USSR fell, state-sanctioned antisemitism all but disappeared, and other ethnic tensions took place of day-to-day antisemitism in my place of birth, now a small independent country. Jewish kids of my generation were still encouraged to study hard, but compared to our parents and grandparents, we are total slackers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP- I know MANY Jewish conservatives, myself included. Mostly very wealthy. See for example the hawks have been governing in Israel for how long? American Jews are mostly Democrats, BUT, many vote against their best interests when voting Democratic. That tendency to vote Dem can be traced back to the civil-rights era, which is ironic. I will agree with this thread that most Jewish people I know are high-achievers (law, finance,drs, etc.), prefer to associate with Jews, abd look out for ourselves first. To be honest, I at least view it as an us vs. them. This is NOT to say I dislike or have ANY prejudice against non-Jews. I believe we have to stick together bc at the end of the day, we are the only ones who look out for each other.

Look! Lots of different kinds of evidence that not all Jews are smart!