Starting to Think My DW is Unemployable

[Anonymous]

There are always two sides to any story and the storyteller rarely presents him or herself in poor light.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't have time to read through the whole thread, but suggest to her that she volunteer with an org like Taproot. She could get back in the swing of a real project and network at the same time.

Agreed. What is stopping OP's wife from at least volunteering to make some contacts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are always two sides to any story and the storyteller rarely presents him or herself in poor light.

Do you offer this same critique and skepticism when it is a woman telling her story?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are always two sides to any story and the storyteller rarely presents him or herself in poor light.

Do you offer this same critique and skepticism when it is a woman telling her story?

Do you ever stop your ceaseless and boring attempts to prove reverse gender bias?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are always two sides to any story and the storyteller rarely presents him or herself in poor light.

Do you offer this same critique and skepticism when it is a woman telling her story?

Hello? Have you seen the thread where the woman declared that her DH was boring and she was getting a divorce? People trashed her incessantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are always two sides to any story and the storyteller rarely presents him or herself in poor light.

Do you offer this same critique and skepticism when it is a woman telling her story?

Do you ever stop your ceaseless and boring attempts to prove reverse gender bias?

Do you always deflect when you know you are being hypocritical?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are always two sides to any story and the storyteller rarely presents him or herself in poor light.

Do you offer this same critique and skepticism when it is a woman telling her story?

Hello? Have you seen the thread where the woman declared that her DH was boring and she was getting a divorce? People trashed her incessantly.

Some people challenged her - many others supported her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two observations: (1) being in Asia for four years for your job seems like a death blow to her career, esp. in this economy. Her anger at you for that fact (or circumstance) appears to be coming out in her verbal abuse. Yes, I think you need to counseling for that. But you need to own up to the fact that you have, indeed, played a role in the death of her career.

(2) She can't possibly run around 24/7 working on her job search. Some days are reasonably going to be spent on other things, including organizing her shoes, cleaning, reading novels, and really doing whatever the hell she pleases. You're not her father and you're not the unemployment police. Time to get off her back.

I took the position in Asia st her urging snd encouragement. I was perfectly happy to stay where I was previously. As to point number 2, I do not even involve myself at all in her job search. I don't ride her ass about it, but I don't think I need to bite my tongue as I do ehrn she comes back from a failed interview or whatever and dumps everything - all of the blame on me - when I see her doing things that actually sabotage her career prospects. I don't need to go into the details, but let's just say she got herself entangled with the criminal justice system through her own actions, and this record has come up in her employment search and led employers to look askance at her. I may have contributed to the "death of her career" as a PP put it, but she most probably killed it and that is her fault.

The plot thickens!!! So, you're married to a criminal!!!

I would get a divorce from a criminal a lot faster than a divorce from someone who wasn't looking hard enough for work!

Maybe you ought to examine your other problems, not just money problems?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are always two sides to any story and the storyteller rarely presents him or herself in poor light.

Do you offer this same critique and skepticism when it is a woman telling her story?

Hello? Have you seen the thread where the woman declared that her DH was boring and she was getting a divorce? People trashed her incessantly.

I don't see divorcing a boring spouse as the same as spousal and domestic violence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are always two sides to any story and the storyteller rarely presents him or herself in poor light.

Do you offer this same critique and skepticism when it is a woman telling her story?

Hello? Have you seen the thread where the woman declared that her DH was boring and she was getting a divorce? People trashed her incessantly.

Some people challenged her - many others supported her.

I supported the other OP. No one should be forced to stay in an unhappy marriage. This is the year 2013, not 1953. I also thought that many posters were bashing her because they hold up marriage to be some holy grail that can not be questioned, ever. I hate that sort of rigid thinking, and I always celebrate women who are brave enough to dream big and actually follow through on it - especially in Washington, DC.

But I think that this OP here sounds a little sketchy - esp. the fact that he's actually married to a criminal and then mentioned it later like it's an afterthought. And though I know it's now DCUM (and dads), this is a very strange place to come to bash a wife for not working after she spent four years in Asia with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are always two sides to any story and the storyteller rarely presents him or herself in poor light.

Do you offer this same critique and skepticism when it is a woman telling her story?

Hello? Have you seen the thread where the woman declared that her DH was boring and she was getting a divorce? People trashed her incessantly.

I don't see divorcing a boring spouse as the same as spousal and domestic violence.

It was more than that - she wants an entirely different lifestyle. They are now incompatible. Different values, different dreams. Done. Marriage over. Get over it.

As Isabel Gillies says, "happens every day."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are always two sides to any story and the storyteller rarely presents him or herself in poor light.

Do you offer this same critique and skepticism when it is a woman telling her story?

Hello? Have you seen the thread where the woman declared that her DH was boring and she was getting a divorce? People trashed her incessantly.

Some people challenged her - many others supported her.

I supported the other OP. No one should be forced to stay in an unhappy marriage. This is the year 2013, not 1953. I also thought that many posters were bashing her because they hold up marriage to be some holy grail that can not be questioned, ever. I hate that sort of rigid thinking, and I always celebrate women who are brave enough to dream big and actually follow through on it - especially in Washington, DC.

But I think that this OP here sounds a little sketchy - esp. the fact that he's actually married to a criminal and then mentioned it later like it's an afterthought. And though I know it's now DCUM (and dads), this is a very strange place to come to bash a wife for not working after she spent four years in Asia with him.

Fine as long as you would equally support and celebrate a man who left his wife because he found her boring, and would see him as being brave and willing to dream big and follow through. If that is how you view men and women who divorce because they have gotten bored then that is your prerogative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But I think that this OP here sounds a little sketchy - esp. the fact that he's actually married to a criminal and then mentioned it later like it's an afterthought. And though I know it's now DCUM (and dads), this is a very strange place to come to bash a wife for not working after she spent four years in Asia with him.

So verbal/domestic abuse and having a criminal record for assault = no big deal in your world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get pissy and angry with her about her job search, but I am angry when she screams, yells and curses me at the top of her lungs and treats me in away no loving spouse should. Her verbal abuse is not justified by her job search frustration and is sucking whatever compassion I may have had out of me.

See, you've changed the focus from your wife's unemployed status to now you're pissed at the way she treats you. So which is it? Not trying to be a jerk here, but people have tried to address issues regarding job stuff and she has a right to be mad, etc, you change it to "I don't like how she treats me." Look at the title of your post and then see where you've gone with it. If you're this cagey in real life, I can see where her frustration is coming from (recognizing that this is an internet forum and might not be at all how you are in real life.)

Oh, STFU. The OP clearly states (in his OP) that his wife is verbally abusive.

Speaking of someone with anger issues...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take him to the cleaners = 1/2 of retirement, 1/2 of home and bank accounts, most likely spousal support for a period of time deemed necessary to become financially independent (i.e., get a job) and I have had friends get many years under circumstances less compelling than this one. It sounds to me like OP benefited professionally and financially from the move and his wife is now professionally disadvantaged. Who is the asshole?

The one with the criminal record.

+1