Starting to Think My DW is Unemployable

[Anonymous]

?

[Anonymous]

You seem to have posed your question wrong. The big issue here is not whether she is employable, it is whether your relationship is salvageable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And you'll have to pay child support and rehabilitative alimony for a few years. She'll make a good case that she gave up her career to move to Asia to further your career. The burden of proof is on you. She'll also highlight the fact that you didn't let her pursue that job.

By dumping her, you won't get rid of the financial responsibilities to your child.

I don't see where OP is trying to get out of child support.

OP's wife stayed for several years and was offered the chance to leave. Wasn't she employed while in Asia, as well?

There's the criminal incident, which will have to be rehashed in court. If OP's wife is reluctant to do that, the she might be willing to settle for a lump sum, no questions asked.

And, let's face it, OP's wife has two Ivy League degrees and relatively recent work experience. It's not like she has been a SAHM for 20+ years and OP is now trying to trade her in for the newer model a la Roger Sterling.

Let's not paint OP as being utterly defenseless. With the right (sharky) lawyer, OP could well get out fairly easily. Since he's in VA, once OP finds out proof of an affair, alimony can be reduced/eliminated. OP's wife could get temporarily alimony until the final settlement/trial.

And -- let's face it -- maybe OP just wants to pay his wife $1k a month to go away.

[Anonymous]

HAs she tried contacting her previous employers to see if they may have something for her? I have also relocated for my DH job couples years ago, with a small infant child. Last year we came back to DC and the first thing I did was contact my old bosses, colleagues, etc. I became an independent consultant on a large project and last month was hired full-time.

Your DW is in a similar field as me, she shouldn't have a problem finding another job.

[Anonymous]

9:01 Please. That is just not true, that OP's wife should have no problem finding a job in her field. People do not want to hire people who haven't been working for a few years. They just don't. Do you know how many people apply for each job these days? Often it's in the hundreds!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And you'll have to pay child support and rehabilitative alimony for a few years. She'll make a good case that she gave up her career to move to Asia to further your career. The burden of proof is on you. She'll also highlight the fact that you didn't let her pursue that job.

By dumping her, you won't get rid of the financial responsibilities to your child.

I don't see where OP is trying to get out of child support.

OP's wife stayed for several years and was offered the chance to leave. Wasn't she employed while in Asia, as well?

There's the criminal incident, which will have to be rehashed in court. If OP's wife is reluctant to do that, the she might be willing to settle for a lump sum, no questions asked.

And, let's face it, OP's wife has two Ivy League degrees and relatively recent work experience. It's not like she has been a SAHM for 20+ years and OP is now trying to trade her in for the newer model a la Roger Sterling.

Let's not paint OP as being utterly defenseless. With the right (sharky) lawyer, OP could well get out fairly easily. Since he's in VA, once OP finds out proof of an affair, alimony can be reduced/eliminated. OP's wife could get temporarily alimony until the final settlement/trial.

And -- let's face it -- maybe OP just wants to pay his wife $1k a month to go away.

He started this whole thread by complaining his "DW is Unemployable." I'm just pointing out that his finances are about to take a HUGE hit if he gets divorced.

First, OP's wife is going to justifiably argue that she went to Asia in good faith, and when she got a job opp here, he refused to leave with her. So she sacrificed it for the marriage.

She's taken at LEAST four years off from work - she has NO recent work experience. No one wants to hire someone who has been out of the workforce for years like this.

He has no proof of an affair, so it would have to be no-fault, even in Virginia.

Do you really think she's going to take $1000 a month!??!?!

Also in VA, they will rule in favor of the mother in terms of custody. Strong bias. So he's looking at paying both CS and rehab alimony. Looks grim for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9:01 Please. That is just not true, that OP's wife should have no problem finding a job in her field. People do not want to hire people who haven't been working for a few years. They just don't. Do you know how many people apply for each job these days? Often it's in the hundreds!

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

OP has given so many details that he guarantees that his wife will be forever unemployable. Troll? If so, well played, OP. Very original.

[Anonymous]

No troll.

[Anonymous]

Anyone with her credentials unemployed for that long doesn't want to work. There are people with far less going for them somehow figuring out how to get their foot in the door somewhere.

[Anonymous]

op, your arrest story makes no sense. All you would have had to do was tell the officer you were with your daughter and that would be the end of it. And, you will have to pay for the lawyer since you and your wife are still married. That'd be true even if she got arrested for doing something you support such as a political issue you both cared about. Also, why do you think she's having an affair? Lastly, this isn't a job post. You and your wife have far bigger problems. Finally, was she always cruel and unkind or did this happen once you returned from Asia?

[Anonymous]

An overseas post in Asia, where there are servants to do most everything for you does not lead to a big desire to work like crazy here in DC (at least from the STAH wives I know) Maybe try for another posting? Sorry those overseas postings make for some spoiled people!

[Anonymous]

9:01 Not OP. I've tried that to no avail. It doesn't work for everyone. You got lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An overseas post in Asia, where there are servants to do most everything for you does not lead to a big desire to work like crazy here in DC (at least from the STAH wives I know) Maybe try for another posting? Sorry those overseas postings make for some spoiled people!

Sad but true. I know a woman with a masters who worked hard here, followed her DH to Asia and became lazy as hell. She was a SAHM but the nanny and housekeeper did everything. Cooking, cleaning, waking the kids up and off to school while she slept or played on the internet all day in another room. I know this because they hosted a friend to stay with them for a month. My friend felt awkward and started helping the nanny out with the kids. She and her husband used to be that perfect couple to everyone but they practically ignore each other and the kids. I suspect that he might be unfaithful out there and that she is just mentally checked out (maybe she knows he's cheating).

So yeah, I cant imagine her returning to the States and being Suzy Homemaker.