Would you be okay with your daughter dating a boy from a different race?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did this thread come from DCUM's 1950's archives? I am really surprised to see both the question and these answers, particularly in the DC area. (Are you responders in the DC area?)

DH and I each grew up in other major metropolitan areas and both of us dated extensively outside both our race and religions before marrying (even Muslims - the horror!) The same will of course be ok for our kids.

What would not be ok with me would be the type who displays a Confederate flag. I would also have a really hard time with hard core Evangelical Christians and smokers.

You mean like our President?

[Anonymous]

No issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP (8:21) again -

after reading the above posts, I forgot that I would be concerned if DD was in a serious relationship with a muslim. That would really bother me.

Let me know her name so I make sure my son never asks her out. I don't care about race, but being stuck with bigoted in laws would really suck.

I so love the default argument - if you don't agree with me, you're a bigot/racist.

PP said that she would "be concerned," not that she would end it. She also referred to a "serious relationship," which I took to mean marriage is conceivable. Things I would be concerned about - would my DD be asked to convert? Would their kids be raised in the muslim faith? Are the prospective in laws supportive?

Default argument? No, you nitwit - this is not some discussion of the national debt, and the PP just broke out "bigoted" as an irrelevant charge. The PP said she would be "really bothered" if her daughter was in a serious relationship with a muslim. She doesn't know ANYTHING about the other person other than he is a muslim, and that in and of itself would bother her. That's the definition of bigoted.

I am appalled by people who state a strong preference against a particular race or SES, but I have to admit that if my daughter dated a Muslim, I would be concerned, at least until I got to know the person a lot better. Like PPs, religious fundamentalism of any kind is scary to me, and the fact that, in the modern world, rightly or not, Islam is frequently associated with both misogyny and terrorism is a concern as well.

True story: my best friend and I both grew up in Jewish families in Eastern Europe, where Jewish is ethnicity, not a religion, and the majority of Jews are not "observant" in the traditional sense. My parents did not care if I dated Jewish, non-Jewish, Black, White or Purple. Her mother expressed a preference that she marry a Jew. But, as she put it, better a goy than an Orthodox.

And that's the thing. Why would you automatically assume a Muslim is a fundamentalist? Most aren't, and trust me, if he's "dating" he's definitely not a fundy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of these replies are the politically correct answers.

If it happened in real life, especially your white girl and his black boy, you would have a fit.

Count on it.

I love this- you know all! Some of us really.don't. care. Its not 1955. Many of the responses (like mine) are from those IN those relationships for years and years.......and yet the world did not fall down.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

If a parent isn't ok with this, what can they do that won't make the guy even more forbidden fruit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure. Beautiful grandchildren.

What?

Hapa babies. It's been covered.

See attached.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/283402.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/112324.page#955492

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure. Beautiful grandchildren.

What?

Hapa babies. It's been covered.

See attached.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/283402.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/112324.page#955492

No guarantee of beautiful grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

So here is my non-pc answer...

I would rather my white daughter date some black guy from the ghetto then a white hick from WVa (my family lives out there).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure. Beautiful grandchildren.

What?

Hapa babies. It's been covered.

See attached.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/283402.page

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/112324.page#955492

No guarantee of beautiful grandchildren.

True. But think about the beautiful children who are "Asians" and "African Americans" and other "minorities" you may know. Chances are they are actually mixed race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So here is my non-pc answer...

I would rather my white daughter date some black guy from the ghetto then a white hick from WVa (my family lives out there).

Okay, I'll bite. Why?

[Anonymous]

My dd must not marry a man who is
Much older
Much younger
Was in prison
Has a history of violence
Uneducated

Too religious, or a religion that is not ours
Or a married man
Or a man with kids

I do not know of happily married mixed race couples, the ones I know tend to be single parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd must not marry a man who is
Much older
Much younger
Was in prison
Has a history of violence
Uneducated

Too religious, or a religion that is not ours
Or a married man
Or a man with kids

I do not know of happily married mixed race couples, the ones I know tend to be single parents

\\


This seems like an honest and good list.

As for your mixed race observation, I have come into contact with such couples mainly through our private school, and those are mainly Asian-Caucasian couples. I know of no divorces among these couples. To the contrary, they seem happier than most (including me . . .).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd must not marry a man who is
Much older
Much younger
Was in prison
Has a history of violence
Uneducated

Too religious, or a religion that is not ours
Or a married man
Or a man with kids

I do not know of happily married mixed race couples, the ones I know tend to be single parents

Moi. Very happily married 10+ years. I actually don't know any interracial or inter religious marriages in my circle that have failed. Only divorces I know are white Christian couples. Anecdotal only, of course, just like yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd must not marry a man who is
Much older
Much younger
Was in prison
Has a history of violence
Uneducated

Too religious, or a religion that is not ours
Or a married man
Or a man with kids

I do not know of happily married mixed race couples, the ones I know tend to be single parents

How could you stop your DD from marrying any of the above?

P.S. You don't seem to be very educated yourself. "Mixed race" couples?

[Anonymous]

Yes, as long as he can fit in with our family.