Would you be okay with your daughter dating a boy from a different race?
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Anonymous
| Sure. Beautiful grandchildren. |
Anonymous
Please tell me how a Mulsim is different. |
Anonymous
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Ok: people of all backgrounds and races with a similar level of religious (zero to very liberal) observance and similar SES to her. My exceptions being:
Poor Uneducated and no aspirations to become educated Conservative or Orthodox religious beliefs. Any member of a religion that believes someone should be stoned to death for moral trespasses is out... Someone without immigration papers I also would be concerned about her dating someone who is a recent immigrant from a culture that is misogynistic: regardless of education and SES. |
Anonymous
| As long as she didn't come from a preachy religion. |
Anonymous
| Good God. Of course I'd be okay with it. |
Anonymous
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I'd be more concerned if ,y daughter dated someone from the Midwest. Or a redneck. Or someone who never left the US.
People with no sense of the world around them terrify me. I don't care what color wrapper you are as long as you are smart. |
Anonymous
Default argument? No, you nitwit - this is not some discussion of the national debt, and the PP just broke out "bigoted" as an irrelevant charge. The PP said she would be "really bothered" if her daughter was in a serious relationship with a muslim. She doesn't know ANYTHING about the other person other than he is a muslim, and that in and of itself would bother her. That's the definition of bigoted. |
Anonymous
your grandchildren will always be beautiful to you |
Anonymous
The Midwest? Bizarre. |
Anonymous
I am appalled by people who state a strong preference against a particular race or SES, but I have to admit that if my daughter dated a Muslim, I would be concerned, at least until I got to know the person a lot better. Like PPs, religious fundamentalism of any kind is scary to me, and the fact that, in the modern world, rightly or not, Islam is frequently associated with both misogyny and terrorism is a concern as well. True story: my best friend and I both grew up in Jewish families in Eastern Europe, where Jewish is ethnicity, not a religion, and the majority of Jews are not "observant" in the traditional sense. My parents did not care if I dated Jewish, non-Jewish, Black, White or Purple. Her mother expressed a preference that she marry a Jew. But, as she put it, better a goy than an Orthodox. |
Anonymous
I AM your grandmother (age 68) and I find the premise of this thread appalling and disheartening. |
Anonymous
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Wow, this whole thread is terrible.
My parents are of different races and got married in 1962. At that time, their marriage was illegal in the state of Virginia, among others. While their immediate families were somewhat reluctantly supportive, many of their extended family members were not, and they faced a lot of ugliness over the years. They raised three children together and are now the proud grandparents of six grandchildren who run the racial gamut. They've seen each other through a miscarriage, two bouts with cancer, heart surgery, eye surgery, car accidents, financial hard times, a fire that destroyed most of their possessions, loss of family and friends, and many many happy times. Last fall they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. They have built a wonderful life together based on shared set of values and a mutual love and respect for each other. That is what matters, not race. |
Anonymous
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Did this thread come from DCUM's 1950's archives? I am really surprised to see both the question and these answers, particularly in the DC area. (Are you responders in the DC area?)
DH and I each grew up in other major metropolitan areas and both of us dated extensively outside both our race and religions before marrying (even Muslims - the horror!) The same will of course be ok for our kids. What would not be ok with me would be the type who displays a Confederate flag. I would also have a really hard time with hard core Evangelical Christians and smokers. |
Anonymous
What? 
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Anonymous
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Let's take the case of my sister in law: she dated a man from her own culture and background. He is arrogant, controlling, and disloyal. Unlike my husband and BIL and FIL and every other member of the family who obviously shared the jerk's background.
Then she dated a black man from a bad part of a bad city. He has a drug-dealing brother and a sister who had three children by three different fathers by the time she was 20. This man had worked hard all through school, had gone to a good college on a full academic scholarship, and met my SIL in their grad program. He is soft-spoken and gentle and endlessly patient and giving. Guess which one she picked? She picked the nice guy. And no one in our family would have had it otherwise. And so I can comfortably say that my daughters can date whatever kind and generous and hard-working man (or woman-- that's another thing that doesn't faze me) they want. We will judge their partners on their personalities and accomplishments and behavior. A rich white guy doesn't get ANY kind of automatic pass from me, just because we might have some superficial similarities. |