Stanford professor dad - arrested and facing one year jail time because teens drank in his house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 4 kids -- 2 teens, one college student and one newly-minted college grad. They're good kids and so are their friends, but from years of experience I can say that supervising a teen party requires hawk-like alertness. It's not enough to just be present in the home. You really need to be circulating through the party at frequent intervals, looking kids in the eye and talking to them to check whether they've been drinking or doing drugs. Nobody gets in a car without your checking them out very carefully. Your kid needs to be totally on board with this or no party. For a party with 40 kids, you need at least two adults, preferably 3 or 4. Having said this, my reaction to the article is "there but for the grace of God . . . "

You are absolutely right. The kids won't like it, but too bad. Eventually what happens is that the partiers leave and you're left with the good kids. Not all teens even want to drink or do drugs, and the ones that dont' will be glad to hang out at your place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:44 counts?! Please. You're buying his "I didn't know." Give me a break. I didn't know there were 44 kids drinking beer.

How old are your kids?

Parents can do everything right and kids can still get shit by. And BTW - kids don't typically drink beer- its usually vodka in water bottles.

vodka in water bottles wouldn't attract the kind of attention that led to this arrest, m' kay?

there must have been some sort of probable cause.

Thank god detective stabler joined the discussion.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the posts but here are my thoughts. If I understand the facts correctly, this father was a victim of deception, not an accomplice or enabler -- like a school when students sneak alcohol into a dance. The police do not arrest teacher chaperones, do they? I think if there is reasonable parent supervision and clear attempts to prohibit alcohol, like searching all guests, which many parents do, that the parents should not be arrested. We cannot start arresting people for things that are going on around them without their knowledge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wish I could talk to his lawyer. Would tell the lawyer to tell judge that if this is what te law intended, then every school principle in America should be arrested on how ever many children are enrolled in that school, that many accounts of underage drinking or drugs. This is just another example of the government going completely overboard and being rediculous. I'm not saying that undrage drinking is good but its also something that has been going on since alcolhol and drugs were invented and will continue to go on until the end of time. The cops should get off their lazy butts and find out who brought the alcohol and arrest them, not the father!

Pot, too. You made the perfect argument for decriminalizing pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:44 counts?! Please. You're buying his "I didn't know." Give me a break. I didn't know there were 44 kids drinking beer.

How old are your kids?

Parents can do everything right and kids can still get shit by. And BTW - kids don't typically drink beer- its usually vodka in water bottles.

vodka in water bottles wouldn't attract the kind of attention that led to this arrest, m' kay?

there must have been some sort of probable cause.

An anoymous phone call from an annoyed neighbor would have been enough to send the police out there. The annoyed neighbor sees 44 kids at a party next door and calls the police to report underaged drinking. Police show up to check it out. They don't need probable cause to show up and ask, "Can we take a look around?" Dad said, "sure!" thinking there was no drinking.

Police did not observe anyone drinking, according to what I read.

I don't think this will stand up in court.

[Anonymous]

A colleague of mine lived in a community in the Northeast much like Bethesda while their kids were in high school. One kid's parents went out of town and this kid had a party at his house--and it got out of control. Very out of control. The house was trashed. Turns out the owner of the house was a litigator and pieced together through Facebook and photos posted online who was at the party. Then, he went to their parents and told them that they had the choice of paying $10k each for an even portion of repairs to his house, or he would take them to court for I have no idea what charges. From what I understand, based on the litigator's reputation alone, most parents paid him.

[Anonymous]

Wow, all the parents who are saying "wait until you raise a teenager" seem like they are making excuses. Yeah, shit happens and that is why you have consequences that come down on your kids. You can also prevent what happened to the teenager by not having parties and stressing to your kids the legal ramifications of allowing drinking/drunk teens in your home. These days it's jail time and serious law suits.

Even when I threw parties in high school (and eventually got busted) I knew it was risky because if someone got a DUI and ratted on me, I could have been kicked out of my Catholic high school.

[Anonymous]

*what happened to the professor dad* not teenager!

[Anonymous]

For those who say "I was a teenager, I know how to raise teens", unless you are under about the age of 15, it is a VERY different world for teens now than it was in the 80s/90s.

Kids/teens are exposed to so much more and know so much more than we did when we were kids. If you don't believe me, listen to songs that come on the radio--Ke$ha for instance. Or watch TV shows that come on TV--network television during primetime is much different than it was when we were young. Family Guy is not the Cosby Show. And it is very easy to find porn online. Seriously you just have to google "porn". Awesome for the consumer of porn, a challenge for a parent.

Parents cant just assume that they raised their kids right--it is necessary to realize that it is a different world, and prepare your kids for it. Talk to them about real life issues that speak to tehm. I know that if my parents had told me that my drinking at home could result in their losing their house, I would have rolled my eyes. But had they told me how many calories were in booze, that woud have been a different story

[Anonymous]

I would rather have parties at my house and take the chance that I end up arrested than have no idea where my kid is and take the chance that they drive home drunk.

[Anonymous]

12:43, a kid called 911 from the basement - what is up with that? Sounds like a vendetta.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:12:43, a kid called 911 from the basement - what is up with that? Sounds like a vendetta.

She's a young teen and apparently panicked when some kids stole beers from the garage fridge. I'm fine with her ratting out the friends, but sheesh, walk upstairs and tell the parent hosts who were sitting in the kitchen or call your own parents for a ride home. But the 911 call will have ramifications for years to come.

[Anonymous]

We put a padlock on the basement frig when our kids have parties, and they have always been totally fine with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We put a padlock on the basement frig when our kids have parties, and they have always been totally fine with that.

We cleared the garage fridge of beer. It's now filled with kid/teen friendly drinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who say "I was a teenager, I know how to raise teens", unless you are under about the age of 15, it is a VERY different world for teens now than it was in the 80s/90s.

Kids/teens are exposed to so much more and know so much more than we did when we were kids. If you don't believe me, listen to songs that come on the radio--Ke$ha for instance. Or watch TV shows that come on TV--network television during primetime is much different than it was when we were young. Family Guy is not the Cosby Show. And it is very easy to find porn online. Seriously you just have to google "porn". Awesome for the consumer of porn, a challenge for a parent.

Parents cant just assume that they raised their kids right--it is necessary to realize that it is a different world, and prepare your kids for it. Talk to them about real life issues that speak to tehm. I know that if my parents had told me that my drinking at home could result in their losing their house, I would have rolled my eyes. But had they told me how many calories were in booze, that woud have been a different story

I'm 28, so I do remember a lot of this stuff. I had a cell phone in high school. I think Family Guy was around (if not then by college it definitely was). I don't remember guys being anymore obsessed with internet porn than they were Playboy and Penthouse but I also was pretty sheltered and dorky so I don't think that was on my radar. Prescription drug abuse, "robo-tripping," pot, cocaine, all those things happened at school and I heard about them but I figured they always happened. It was private school, the privileged can often times afford to be really serious f-ups.

I guess how much trouble your children get away with/what trouble they get into depends on several things:

1) Assuming your child is naive or "too young for that." When I was in 7th grade a bunch of girls got caught drinking Grey Goose from water bottles. Their parents were stupid.
2) The amount of privacy that is allowed in your house... I have teenage cousins and the rules in their house are: lap tops can only be linked to WiFi in the living room, when parents are home (I think they turn it off or have it password protected from their kids); computer histories cannot be erased; no smart phones in the bedroom while sleeping. If they are caught breaking any of these rules they lose their cell phones for 2 weeks, which is supposedly devastating to a teenager's social life.
3) Knowing none of the "parent gossip" or who the fast kids are at your school.
4) Allowing more than 5 friends in your home. It is pretty well proven to be a recipe for disaster. With that many kids, some sort of abuse is bound to happen.