Professionally successful women intimidate me

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore all the frigid "cute" bashers. Really, they're seething, because they know their husbands all want to f*** you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, I have met many women like you at my husband's work functions. My husband is older than I am and a very accomplished executive. I am a practicing lawyer. I work FT and we have children. Some women are personable and ask about our kids my job and I ask about their kids and job if they have one. I am perpetually redoing something in our house so I always ask people if they have put in wood floors recently or redid a deck or whatever so that I can collect recommendations for good home improvement companies. Our kids are usually older than other people's in these gatherings -- I am happy to share information on camps, schools, activities, etc.

Some women are not personable. Some are simply shy and perhaps feel insecure like it seems you might feel. If I am getting shy and insecure, I usually keep trying. Most times I am able to find some common ground to talk about. Other times, women aren't personable and are just downright mean. I excuse myself to refresh my drink and don't come back in those conversations.

It is a silly old saying, but, if you want to make a friend you have to be a friend.

I agree with everything you wrote and you sound like a wonderful person.

My husband tells me that I'm intimidating to other women. I don't mean to be, I'm just really shy at first. I am confident, try to look pulled together (I'm average at best) and I do balance a lot of things at once, but what woman doesn't? I think all of that together comes off as intimidating, when really once you get to know me, I'm very down to earth and friendly.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am your worst-nightmare, but then again, you are probably mine. I am in my mid-forties, pregnant, a partner in a large law firm, primary breadwinner in my home, room parent (not by choice, my husband is supposed to be doing it), and semi-active in my community (I won't take a leadership role in the HOA, but I have been asked to do it.).

Now, let me tell you what you don't know. I worry everyday that my business levels aren't high enough, that my daughter has pooped today, that she's been fed, that aftercare is taking adequate care of her, that I made the deadline for paying for the pool and camp and that Daddy will be able to pick her up and drop her off at school when I am on a business trip. I and my daughter cry when I go away, but I have to, because I put myself on this track and married a man whose income will never be as high as mine.

You should really try to find common ground with the women that intimidate you. That may just be talking about the kids and camp and weekend activities. I don't think you need to change yourself to get to know me. The fact is that I'd rather be you at times. On the weekends, I would much rather be in my sweats with my hair up and my flats on. I am sure I am past my cute stage. I'd hope I am polished, but I pack that away on the weekends and just try to be me.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, I am probably wnat many people would consider "professionally successful," but in terms of mom friends, I like other women who are friendly, nice, laid back, non-judgmental, and have reasonably behaved kids. I don't care if they are successful professioinally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I can say is THANK GOD you got out of teaching!

another dimwit out of the profession

You are a very ugly person. You're truly a loser. And I'm not a teacher or someone who is ashamed of my professional development - just someone amazed at how distgustingly insecure and mean some people are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For PP, I am a new PP and interested in how to tone down the "cute" or "cutesy." I am a 35 year old "cutie" and just can't help it. I look very young for my age. I have a mix of sophisticated and casual/"cute" clothes, but when it comes down to it, my facial features are quite young.

Glasses?
Short mom haircut?
Scowl?

Tell me how to lose the cute so that others take me seriously.

"Remember, people can like you EXACTLY as you are." ---Mister Rogers.

He was a wonderful guy--a Presbyterian minister who really knew how to relate to kids and get them to have positive thoughts about themselves and life!

[Anonymous]

I agree that some of these posters are terribly nasty. To put down teachers...clearly they don't have school-aged kids yet or they would realize that a good teacher is GOLD. And to say that a woman over 35 can't be cute or attractive...WTF?? Who are these unhappy, bitter people that clearly take pleasure in knocking others down a notch?

[Anonymous]

Damn, chicks are mean to each other!

26 year old guy here. What I am doing on DCUM? Hell if I know.

First off, 31 year old women can DEFINITELY be cute, and also hot at the same time.

Second, well...that's' it, really. The other advice here is fine. But the bitchy sniping is incredible.

[Anonymous]

oh snap, girlfriend!

Anonymous wrote:Damn, chicks are mean to each other!

26 year old guy here. What I am doing on DCUM? Hell if I know.

First off, 31 year old women can DEFINITELY be cute, and also hot at the same time.

Second, well...that's' it, really. The other advice here is fine. But the bitchy sniping is incredible.

[Anonymous]

To me it is all relative - I am smart, successful and high educated (PhD) but find it hard sometimes to talk to other smart, successful, highly educated females. So many people talk about their work but if you are not in the same field it is difficult to chime in. DH is an MD and I hate when I am surrounded a number of MDs talking.... so IMO talk about work beyond pleasantries is often boring unless you are in the same career.

I don't care what job another woman has - just that she is fun, nice and has same interests and (within ballpark) values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Damn, chicks are mean to each other!

26 year old guy here. What I am doing on DCUM? Hell if I know.

First off, 31 year old women can DEFINITELY be cute, and also hot at the same time.

Second, well...that's' it, really. The other advice here is fine. But the bitchy sniping is incredible.

I am pretty sure you're my brother. Or maybe all 26 year old guys talk the same?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:oh snap, girlfriend!

Wow, how witty and clever you are!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For PP, I am a new PP and interested in how to tone down the "cute" or "cutesy." I am a 35 year old "cutie" and just can't help it. I look very young for my age. I have a mix of sophisticated and casual/"cute" clothes, but when it comes down to it, my facial features are quite young.

Glasses?
Short mom haircut?
Scowl?

Tell me how to lose the cute so that others take me seriously.

No you're not.

There are 25 year olds who are looking at you wondering....who is the old bag who thinks she's cute? You just haven't realized you're 35 yet.

I am not any of the previous posters but I just have to say that this is wrong. I have a very cute friend and she is 36! She is so darn cute, pretty and slim. I am 39 myself, look alright, not cute I guess - but yes, my friend is a cutie!

[Anonymous]

Do ppl want to be a cute 35 yo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do ppl want to be a cute 35 yo?

Why not. Stop being contrary just for the sake of arguing.