Young female metro riders be careful...

[Anonymous]

OP, I am very sorry this happened to you, I really am. 
However you have posted at least twice that you "think" he was part  AA and twice that you are sure he was AA. Which is it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will not believe me but I do feel bad for you. I understand all people are different and people react to things differently. Honestly I have been in quite a few situations that required me to "make a scene” But as a person who has lived in this city my entire life and have lived in areas that were kind of rough I am no stranger to this kind of thing and almost expect it to some degree. I am just concerned that African American males tend to be a logical scapegoat in crime situations and sometimes when people go there they do not see the implications. I think Hispanic males get it too. Just know that there is a history behind this sort of thing and it touches a nerve for many people. I apologize if my words hurt you.

PP, I share your concerns but you have a way of introducing them into a thread which makes you a lightning rod and everyone starts focusing on you instead of the issue. This post is better than your earlier posts (if you are the person who posted "typical"). I know you want people to reflect on how they see race but you've got to stop coming in like a sledge hammer if you want them to listen.

For the umpteenth time... I said that I was pretty sure he was at least part African American because based on what I saw he looked at least part African American. Not because black guys are the scapegoat or because I think that black guys are the only culprit and always the culprit (I don't think that at all, actually). I posted identifying factors including his clothing and approximate age. Race/ethnicity is just another identifying factor. I was not making it into a race issue - the troll was. I would have stated if I suspected that he was most likely White, Asian, or Hispanic as well.

Point is - if anybody else has a run in with the creep know that he's done it before and probably does it pretty often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I am sorry this happened to you. I do not take the metro very often and I am trying to figure out how someone feels your breasts sitting next to you on the train. Do you mean with their hands or like brushing against them with their arm. I believe you and think it is totally fucked up but I don't get how it is subtle?

With his elbow. It was not just brushing against them either - it was hard. You know that move that they joke about when the guy yawns and puts his arm around your shoulder? He put his hand in his jacket pocket, then on his lap, while gradually taking over the majority of the seat. First his arm was on my arm (not a big deal - metro seats are tight) and then the next thing I knew he kept pressing into my arm and trying to bully his way into taking over more of the seat (I'm assuming to look for a reaction) and then he oh-so-casually moved over onto my boob and kept trying to rub it. He was very insistent and kept trying and pressing down on me when I tried to move away. When I moved my arm across my body he backed off, only to begin advancing and pinning my arm down again. I did manage to move away or shrug him off and then I tried grabbing my things to get off, but he wouldn't let me go. I finally roughly elbowed him his arm up and over and pushed him away, and he got up in a huff and moved.

Disgusting, I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am very sorry this happened to you, I really am. 
However you have posted at least twice that you "think" he was part  AA and twice that you are sure he was AA. Which is it?

"Pretty sure" and "think" isn't the same thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will not believe me but I do feel bad for you. I understand all people are different and people react to things differently. Honestly I have been in quite a few situations that required me to "make a scene” But as a person who has lived in this city my entire life and have lived in areas that were kind of rough I am no stranger to this kind of thing and almost expect it to some degree. I am just concerned that African American males tend to be a logical scapegoat in crime situations and sometimes when people go there they do not see the implications. I think Hispanic males get it too. Just know that there is a history behind this sort of thing and it touches a nerve for many people. I apologize if my words hurt you.

PP, I share your concerns but you have a way of introducing them into a thread which makes you a lightning rod and everyone starts focusing on you instead of the issue. This post is better than your earlier posts (if you are the person who posted "typical"). I know you want people to reflect on how they see race but you've got to stop coming in like a sledge hammer if you want them to listen.

You are right! My anger totally got the best of me and OP's response made me even more annoyed. I really do not care what a bunch of people on an anonymous board think. I believe for some it would not matter how I approached the subject, certain people refuse to accept that race plays a role in things and this I truly believe is one of those instances. I do think her story seems a bit bizarre and I am sure I am not the only person who thinks that. However, I sympathize with her just the same because she feels like she was completely defenseless and violated and as a result this has traumatized her. I just want her and other people to examine the idea that giving descriptions when you are not at all sure can have negative consequences especially for minorities. There are way too many innocent black/hispanic men in jails behind this sort of thing. Not all of course but quite a few! Thats it I am done.

[Anonymous]

OP I'm so sorry this happened to you! So, so , sorry. Also sorry that a few people on here have given you a hard time. This is a place of vultures sometimes. But hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will not believe me but I do feel bad for you. I understand all people are different and people react to things differently. Honestly I have been in quite a few situations that required me to "make a scene” But as a person who has lived in this city my entire life and have lived in areas that were kind of rough I am no stranger to this kind of thing and almost expect it to some degree. I am just concerned that African American males tend to be a logical scapegoat in crime situations and sometimes when people go there they do not see the implications. I think Hispanic males get it too. Just know that there is a history behind this sort of thing and it touches a nerve for many people. I apologize if my words hurt you.

PP, I share your concerns but you have a way of introducing them into a thread which makes you a lightning rod and everyone starts focusing on you instead of the issue. This post is better than your earlier posts (if you are the person who posted "typical"). I know you want people to reflect on how they see race but you've got to stop coming in like a sledge hammer if you want them to listen.

You are right! My anger totally got the best of me and OP's response made me even more annoyed. I really do not care what a bunch of people on an anonymous board think. I believe for some it would not matter how I approached the subject, certain people refuse to accept that race plays a role in things and this I truly believe is one of those instances. I do think her story seems a bit bizarre and I am sure I am not the only person who thinks that. However, I sympathize with her just the same because she feels like she was completely defenseless and violated and as a result this has traumatized her. I just want her and other people to examine the idea that giving descriptions when you are not at all sure can have negative consequences especially for minorities. There are way too many innocent black/hispanic men in jails behind this sort of thing. Not all of course but quite a few! Thats it I am done.

You are really quite awful and should feel ashamed of yourself. The way you went about attacking this poster was just awful and don't spew more invective about race here...you may have points to make, but you brought it to the wrong thread in the wrong way! I know you are convinced of your righteousness, but you attacked a person who had just been victimized in a very harsh and inappropriate way.

[Anonymous]

Can the race poster just shut it already? You've completely hijacked this thread to make a point we understood the first 5 fucking times you said it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you will not believe me but I do feel bad for you. I understand all people are different and people react to things differently. Honestly I have been in quite a few situations that required me to "make a scene” But as a person who has lived in this city my entire life and have lived in areas that were kind of rough I am no stranger to this kind of thing and almost expect it to some degree. I am just concerned that African American males tend to be a logical scapegoat in crime situations and sometimes when people go there they do not see the implications. I think Hispanic males get it too. Just know that there is a history behind this sort of thing and it touches a nerve for many people. I apologize if my words hurt you.

PP, I share your concerns but you have a way of introducing them into a thread which makes you a lightning rod and everyone starts focusing on you instead of the issue. This post is better than your earlier posts (if you are the person who posted "typical"). I know you want people to reflect on how they see race but you've got to stop coming in like a sledge hammer if you want them to listen.

You are right! My anger totally got the best of me and OP's response made me even more annoyed. I really do not care what a bunch of people on an anonymous board think. I believe for some it would not matter how I approached the subject, certain people refuse to accept that race plays a role in things and this I truly believe is one of those instances. I do think her story seems a bit bizarre and I am sure I am not the only person who thinks that. However, I sympathize with her just the same because she feels like she was completely defenseless and violated and as a result this has traumatized her. I just want her and other people to examine the idea that giving descriptions when you are not at all sure can have negative consequences especially for minorities. There are way too many innocent black/hispanic men in jails behind this sort of thing. Not all of course but quite a few! Thats it I am done.

OP again. Once again I'm sorry if you are angry. And I know I got a bit sarcastic. But I really think you are overreacting and perceiving things that aren't there and turning this thread into a huge racial debate for no reason at all.

I'm fully aware that there are situations where innocent people go to jail. I'm fully aware that there are some people who have difficulties distinguishing between one black (or White, or Asian, or Hispanic) person and them all. Once again - that isn't the point. The point is that there is this creep on the metro looking for young women to harass and he appeared to be part/full AA, was a bit older, and was wearing jeans a brown leather-like jacket. As I said - his clothing and age is as much as a factor as anything else in his appearance and I really think you overreacted for no reason.

I don't know if you're thinking I filed a police report over it - I did not. I was blown off by the metro employees and lectured about being a "minor" traveling alone and they refused to call the police or allow me to file a complaint (although I filed a complaint online - I did not give a physical description I just explained the incident and the metro employee's inappropriate response).

Is it strange? Hell yes. I could hardly believe what was going on. But as I said the guy had obviously done it before and will do it again.

[Anonymous]

OP, you probably have a sense of race relations in this geographical area by now. Obviously it has nothing to do with you. I am so sorry this happened. Don't buy into the "I feel undervalued by society so your being a victim should mean nothing to anyone, especially me" psychosis with a capital P. I would definitely report the truth to whomever you think will be helpful, and maybe some who will not be. The attitude has nothing to do with you, as you well know. Be safe. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone, nor do you have to make them feel better about themselves. I really don't care if the offender was green with yellow polka dots. What he did was wrong and may be worse next time since he obviously has no qualms about what he did. You may have looked like a good target to someone who has done this before. You may be the type he goes after.

[Anonymous]

OP, I want to thank you so much for posting this. Something like this happened to me once on a SEPTA train outside of Philadelphia when I was in college and commuting into the city for a summer internship. I couldn't believe it. The guy looked like a normal business man, but he let his paper fall open, then his hand was on my leg, you know. I kept looking at him like, "Doesn't he know where his hand is?" I felt so stupid and unsure and it seemed so weird. I've never forgotten it, all these years later. I was a victim of date rape in grad school, but honestly what happened on that train disturbed me more. I didn't even tell my parents about it. It was so weird and puzzling and confusing. Compared to that, rape was, in some ways, a lot easier. I was older, and knew more, and there was a clear line that had been crossed. I was so afraid of what people would say if I said, "But this guy put his hand on my leg under the newspaper!" Of course, you do know what they would say, and I am so sorry.

(I obviously do not mean to make light of rape, and I was a victim myself. I hope I have not offended any other victims by explaining my confusion over what happened on the train.)

I told my husband about that train once, and that is the only person I have ever told until now. Thank you for posting this and breaking the silence. I will talk to my children about it when they get older, but without your post, I am not sure I would have. I still thought it was some strange thing that happened only to me.

[Anonymous]

most of the crime committed on Metro is by young AA males. Is that in dispute?

[Anonymous]

22:51 - I'm glad it helped you (not glad that anything of the sort happens, of course). I think I had a similar reaction as you did. I do think that we should be clear with our teenage/young adult kids that something like what happened to you, me, or anyone else on the thread is NOT acceptable and should not be tolerated. Otherwise, the "doesn't want to create a scene/is this really happening/embarrassment kicks in.

I wish people weren't so up and arms about the non existent race issue in this scenario. As 22:19 said he could have been polka dotted and it would have made no difference. I'm sure I was "his type" (young, as well as short/small. I probably do look like an easy target).

I hope that if this guy (or anyone else like him, regardless of who they are) attempts this again he'll get caught or at the very least, get a good dose of karma. I've decided in lieu of pepper spray because of the legality issue, I'll keep a pen in my pocket instead. A warning followed by a good jab in the leg outta do it.

Other tips if verbally saying anything won't work - keys (aim for "soft spots" and major muscles or the eyes). Nerve in the shoulder (pinch it and bring them to the ground - I've heard it works but honestly don't know if I'd be able to find it). Good blow to the face, groin, or any other sensitive area. If I had the money and the time I'd probably take a self defense class - but I'll have to rely on intuition and my frustration from this time if it ever happens again.

[Anonymous]

I can tell you that having been a victim of a percent before, a "I'll fucking kill you" attitude comes to the surface if I feel threatened. It has gotten me out of two sticky situations in the past 10+years. Did you watch the YouTube video of that lady's reaction to that flasher? It really is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Percent? Damn auto correct. It was supposed to be "pervert".

[Anonymous]

I'm black, and the poster who attacked the OP and told her to "go back to Kansas" is an asshole. OP, don't pay him/her any mind; I realize you were trying to be descriptive. There are lots of people who look like they could be part African American and something else, and I don't see anything wrong with your description.