Young female metro riders be careful...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a guy rub himself against my ass in the buss. I elboweled him as hard as I could and yelled DO YOU WANT TO REACH HOME TEETH-LESS?

He jumped out the next stop.

I think this (and not just against your butt) is pretty common especially when the train is crowded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had similar experiences on Metro where a man has sat down and squished up against me, pushing me against the window. I think they count on us not being sure if they're doing it on purpose or not and our natural reluctance to be rude or make a scene. The last time it happened, I made the guy let me up and I stood for the rest of the trip. I was fuming but I didn't say anything, because I couldn't be 100% certain if it was a perverted thing or if he was just taking up more than his share of the seat. Ugh--I'm getting angry all over again just thinking about it.

OP here. I'm betting it was the same guy, actually. Exact same thing - it was so gradual I wasn't sure if it was intentional and what he was trying to do at first. I've been halfway fuming and halfway disgusted and upset all evening - if it is the same guy I hope karma gets him soon.

No, the guy I'm recalling from the most blatant incident was probably in his 50s, balding, and he looked Indian or Pakistani. I think there's more than one guy out there with this MO.

[Anonymous]

Something similar happened to me once on a crowded train in France. It was blatant, though. I made a small scene-- asked some nicer-looking young men to intervene, and they did. I guess I didn't want to pitch a bigger fit because the next stop was 20+ minutes away, and I think I was afraid of being stuck with the creep. But you really do have to call them out and make other riders get involved. Your silence, though I totally understand it, queues up the next victim.

[Anonymous]

Make a scene. Say very loudly "This man is touching me inappropriately." Describe the person sitting closest to the emergency button "You, man in the brown suit with the newspaper, press the notify metro operator button," Be loud, and be clear that you need help. You'd be surprised who will step up.

[Anonymous]

My sister halfway joked about stocking up on pepper spray - but I'm pretty sure that's illegal in DC/MD isn't it?

I'm sure that if you used pepper spray on a crowded bus or on the metro you would be arrested. Everybody on the train or bus would be harmed, not just the molester.

[Anonymous]

OP, it is common to under react the first time. You won' do that again. They know to go after the very young women. Get some pepper spray. Next time cal 911, even if it takes 45 minutes for them to get there, he might be still attacking you 45 minutes later.

[Anonymous]

OP, and others who have been in this situation-- I am so sorry. And don't beat yourself up for being in shock and not loudly protesting.

Others, keep the tips coming (Like pp above who suggested describing the person nearest the emergency call button--genius).

[Anonymous]

OP I am so sorry you had to endure this--trying not to hijack the thread with my angry Big hugs to you--and thank you for the reminder about the horrible creeps that are out there. We have to be on our guard when we're out and about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm ok. A bit shaken up and promptly blubbered to my sister about it, came home, and posted here. I couldn't reach my phone, even if I had it with me, and if anybody noticed they didn't say anything or pretended that they didn't notice. Plus, he was pretty gradual and suttle about it (got on downtown and didn't start making me uncomfortable until close to Bethesda). I don't know how people could have overlooked that I was obviously uncomfortable and he was obviously way too far into my personal space... but the evening crowd can be a little oblivious.

OP, next time this happens to you please speak up and ask the people around you for help. I know it's hard to do but you're much more likely to get help that way. If I were on the car with you I probably wouldn't have noticed what was happening because I would be looking at my smartphone but personally I would want to know you were in trouble and I would have said something to that jerk.

So sorry you went through this! Thanks for posting here to remind us all to stay alert on the metro -- not just to protect ourselves but to help others in trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make a scene. Say very loudly "This man is touching me inappropriately." Describe the person sitting closest to the emergency button "You, man in the brown suit with the newspaper, press the notify metro operator button," Be loud, and be clear that you need help. You'd be surprised who will step up.

Awesome advice -- thank you for posting!

[Anonymous]

Just FYI, I had this happen many years ago (7 or 8 maybe) and the perp was an older middle-aged Asian man. I didn't do anything, just got up at the next stop and moved cars. I knew something was off right away though - the car wasn't full and he sat down next to me rather than choosing an empty double-seat. So now I'm aware of anyone who does that, and as soon as someone does (even though I'm sure most of them do not have bad intentions), I get up and move seats.

[Anonymous]

I took a self defense class a few years ago, and this exact scenario was discussed. The instructor told us that if a man does this in a very subtle way, so that only the victim can really tell, it is very important to make a scene. Not making a scene signals to the man that you won't fight and that you will be an easy target should he decide to get up and follow you. It's the reason why in any self defense course you will learn to scream NO! NO! NO! if you are being attacked.

I learned so much in that class. I read all the time about how some woman was in a crowded parking lot at Target, the mall, etc. and was all of a sudden forced into a car and kidnapped and I used to think "how does that happen?" And the instructor told us that it is sort of engrained in our society to be polite and we don't want to make a scene, so engrained that it is our instinct to kind of not make a scene. And I've been there too. I remember walking across an empty campus one late night in college when I was studying abroad. I felt a man or woman kind of come up closer to me than was normal (since in America we are all about personal space and it's not like that in other countries and I was on a very international campus with people from all over the world), and instead of protecting myself, running, turning around, I wanted to be polite and so I just ignored it and sped up (luckily nothing happened and it probably was just a person ignoring the American personal space rule). I can't believe I was concerned about being polite! It seems crazy but in the moment it can happen, much like OP is questioning why now she didn't get up, etc.

I hope that next time all of us reading this thread will speak up. Get up, and even if you don't want to cause a scene, at least mumble, "that is totally inappropriate and disgusting." Show some sign that you aren't just going to take it.

Smart of you to make sure you weren't being followed. I'm sorry this happened to you!

[Anonymous]

There's an article in today's Post about the large increase in violent crime on metro. Scary stuff.

[Anonymous]

thanks for posting this.
Signed, daily metro rider

[Anonymous]

I am confused, you said he was part Arican American and part what? I think it is kinda weird you made sure to mention one part without the other! Typical!!!!