Young female metro riders be careful...

[Anonymous]

Seriously. Red line tonight around 7:45 heading towards Shady Grove some guy sat next to me on the metro. He was very slow and suttle about it - started by leaning against me while looking as if he was asleep, and ended up squishing me against the window while rubbing my boobs with his elbow and trying to talk to me. I kept shoving him away and trying to look like I was going to get off the train - but he wouldn't budge. I told a metro employee about it when I was finally able to get off the train, but he blew me off saying that it would take 45 mins for the police to get there and by then the guy would be long gone (nevermind the fact that I understood that and wanted documentation in case it happened to anyone else - seemed like he'd pulled that kind of stunt before).

I look young - the metro employee thought I was 16 or 17 (kept trying to lecture me about minors and safety) and the creep probably did too. I'm probably more shaken up about this then I should be (and am having a lot of "hindsight is 20/20" moments - including how I should have knocked his teeth in) but as usual I clammed up and didn't do much of anything.

The guy was older (probably 40s or 50s) and a bit scruffy looking with some facial hair. Jeans, workboots, dark brown leather-like jacket and a baseball cap. I think he was at least part African American. I watched to make sure he didn't follow me off the train - fortunately he did not. If this happens to you - do what I didn't and try more aggressively (aside from shoving him away and trying to collect your things) to get up, and press the emergency button so they will hopefully stop the train and walk through to see what's going on. And if the metro employees blow that off too... well they're just f'ed up.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are not "more shaken up about this than you should be". Next time, if metro employees are not taking you seriously, then dial 9-1-1.

I am so sorry this happened to you. Are you okay?

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. Did anyone else notice in your car?

[Anonymous]

OP i had such a thing happen to me (the guy cornered me while i was waiting for the train and showed me his penis)

I went straight to the manager and he tried to brush it off I caught my phone and said I was calling 911 and he proceeded calling them himself.

They took the guy in handcuffs.

NEVER let it go. NEVER allow anybody to dismiss your feelings. If you felt uncomfortable it means he committed a crime.

The way I like to think is that if I'm a victim at least I'll fight to be the last one. Letting him walk will allow him to attack another girl.

[Anonymous]

I think I'm ok. A bit shaken up and promptly blubbered to my sister about it, came home, and posted here. I couldn't reach my phone, even if I had it with me, and if anybody noticed they didn't say anything or pretended that they didn't notice. Plus, he was pretty gradual and suttle about it (got on downtown and didn't start making me uncomfortable until close to Bethesda). I don't know how people could have overlooked that I was obviously uncomfortable and he was obviously way too far into my personal space... but the evening crowd can be a little oblivious.

[Anonymous]

OP, what happened to you sounds horrible, and doubly horrible because of the reaction of the Metro employee. You should file a complaint with Metro - both so that they have some record of your attack, and so that they are aware of how poorly trained their staff is. You might also consider posting your experience to the Dr. Gridlock blog/live chat on the Wash Post website - he often highlights problems with metro and often gets good helpful attention from Metro. I hope you're OK and I hope you get the attentive response you deserve from authorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I'm ok. A bit shaken up and promptly blubbered to my sister about it, came home, and posted here. I couldn't reach my phone, even if I had it with me, and if anybody noticed they didn't say anything or pretended that they didn't notice. Plus, he was pretty gradual and suttle about it (got on downtown and didn't start making me uncomfortable until close to Bethesda). I don't know how people could have overlooked that I was obviously uncomfortable and he was obviously way too far into my personal space... but the evening crowd can be a little oblivious.

and we cant forget that some ppl are just sick and will see, watch and won't do a think. remember the girl being raped and taped? or the man being beaten up and ppl taping with the phone offering to sell him the video so he could caught the offenders?

[Anonymous]

Something similar happened to me a couple years ago, but the man was rubbing his genitals against me (through his pants). I consider myself to be a pretty independent woman and can defend and stand up for myself, but I did absolutely about it and just stood there in shock. If I had it to do all over, I would have destroyed him and made a scene so he couldn't get awat with it. I disappointed myself that day.

[Anonymous]

I had a guy rub himself against my ass in the buss. I elboweled him as hard as I could and yelled DO YOU WANT TO REACH HOME TEETH-LESS?

He jumped out the next stop.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. Glad you are safe. Just wanted to add to beware of the guy who pretends he is blind and taps his cane around the platforms and on the trains while walking. Don't be fooled by his disarming "lack of vision".

[Anonymous]

I've had similar experiences on Metro where a man has sat down and squished up against me, pushing me against the window. I think they count on us not being sure if they're doing it on purpose or not and our natural reluctance to be rude or make a scene. The last time it happened, I made the guy let me up and I stood for the rest of the trip. I was fuming but I didn't say anything, because I couldn't be 100% certain if it was a perverted thing or if he was just taking up more than his share of the seat. Ugh--I'm getting angry all over again just thinking about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what happened to you sounds horrible, and doubly horrible because of the reaction of the Metro employee. You should file a complaint with Metro - both so that they have some record of your attack, and so that they are aware of how poorly trained their staff is. You might also consider posting your experience to the Dr. Gridlock blog/live chat on the Wash Post website - he often highlights problems with metro and often gets good helpful attention from Metro. I hope you're OK and I hope you get the attentive response you deserve from authorities.

I just filed a complaint through metro's website - don't know what good it will do especially since I don't have the train car number or the exact time of the incident (I think I was on the train at about 7:45, and it started happening around 8 or 8:10). I also don't have the name of the metro employee. I honestly was a bit shocked with how the metro employee responded - he seemed to take it seriously and was nice about it, then proceeded to say over and over "now I'm not blaming you... you're the victim" but then proceeded to tell me that I should have gotten up (nevermind that I couldn't get up), spoke up loudly, pressed the emergency button, etc. He really didn't let me get a word in edgewise.

Honestly (hindsight again) I wish I had retorted with "how would you feel if some creepy old man sat next to you on the metro, prohibited you from moving, and started elbowing your penis?"

Gah. Ah well. I do wish I had done more but I have always had such bad luck with reporting problems and issues and conflict where it is always dismissed or made into my fault. I think much like a former pp mentioned you can feel like you're independent and can take care of yourself but then can become shellshocked and speechless pretty easily.

Of course, now I get to worry about facing this again since I ride the metro that late at least twice a week. My sister halfway joked about stocking up on pepper spray - but I'm pretty sure that's illegal in DC/MD isn't it?

[Anonymous]

Someone should market a penis zapper that works like a stun gun. Oh wait, maybe they would like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had similar experiences on Metro where a man has sat down and squished up against me, pushing me against the window. I think they count on us not being sure if they're doing it on purpose or not and our natural reluctance to be rude or make a scene. The last time it happened, I made the guy let me up and I stood for the rest of the trip. I was fuming but I didn't say anything, because I couldn't be 100% certain if it was a perverted thing or if he was just taking up more than his share of the seat. Ugh--I'm getting angry all over again just thinking about it.

OP here. I'm betting it was the same guy, actually. Exact same thing - it was so gradual I wasn't sure if it was intentional and what he was trying to do at first. I've been halfway fuming and halfway disgusted and upset all evening - if it is the same guy I hope karma gets him soon.

[Anonymous]

Re pepper spray - maybe you just need to register it with the police. The other thing too is how does that work if you ride from DC into MD. But I think you might have to use a verbal warning before using it in your situation.