Perimenopause and no sex drive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perimenopause over here with the same sex drive I have always had more or less. I think the hormones matter much less than popular culture says. Yes men and women’s sex drives and sexual function BOTH change over time. But so far nothing has disappeared and I don’t see why it would. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I enjoy orgasms and being turned on so I don’t see that going away. Change yes, go away, no.

You don't see why your ovaries ceasing function would change sex drive and sexual function? I'm glad you've had a positive experience, but to not even understand that other women may experience something different? Huh. To reach middle age and to be either so lacking in knowledge or empathy is embarrassing.

NP, and agree completely.

It is almost as if the PP you answered is trying to deny peri and meno exist at all.

Talk about patronizing!

You think it’s patronizing to say women can enjoy sex in menopause? Ok then!

If only you stopped there. Are you really that clueless here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him take you from behind while you fantasize about the other men in your head. It's like using him as your masturbation toy. It's OK to disconnect like that during sex. He's probably doing the same thing.

What if he makes noise or something? Doesn’t that break your concentration?

You just have to get deep into the fantasy! It’s fun. But doesn’t really work for me if my partner is just plain bad at sex. Some things cannot be remedied.

+1

What do you do imagine? Like a crush or an actor? A romance novel character?

I get revved up thinking about other men and then during the act I imagine dirty stories I’ve read and I make up my own too 😂. They have to be different for some reason. DH’s presence is largely irrelevant but it’s still better than doing it alone.

NP here. I’m guilty of doing this on occasion too. Whenever I do, DH always makes a comment like “WOW, you were AMAZING. I think I need a minute”. 🤣

So, its good for him too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perimenopause over here with the same sex drive I have always had more or less. I think the hormones matter much less than popular culture says. Yes men and women’s sex drives and sexual function BOTH change over time. But so far nothing has disappeared and I don’t see why it would. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I enjoy orgasms and being turned on so I don’t see that going away. Change yes, go away, no.

You don't see why your ovaries ceasing function would change sex drive and sexual function? I'm glad you've had a positive experience, but to not even understand that other women may experience something different? Huh. To reach middle age and to be either so lacking in knowledge or empathy is embarrassing.

NP, and agree completely.

It is almost as if the PP you answered is trying to deny peri and meno exist at all.

Talk about patronizing!

You think it’s patronizing to say women can enjoy sex in menopause? Ok then!

If only you stopped there. Are you really that clueless here?

Ummm I literally just wrote that women can enjoy sex after menopause. Not sure why you are freaking out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him take you from behind while you fantasize about the other men in your head. It's like using him as your masturbation toy. It's OK to disconnect like that during sex. He's probably doing the same thing.

What if he makes noise or something? Doesn’t that break your concentration?

You just have to get deep into the fantasy! It’s fun. But doesn’t really work for me if my partner is just plain bad at sex. Some things cannot be remedied.

+1

What do you do imagine? Like a crush or an actor? A romance novel character?

I get revved up thinking about other men and then during the act I imagine dirty stories I’ve read and I make up my own too 😂. They have to be different for some reason. DH’s presence is largely irrelevant but it’s still better than doing it alone.

NP here. I’m guilty of doing this on occasion too. Whenever I do, DH always makes a comment like “WOW, you were AMAZING. I think I need a minute”. 🤣

So, it’s good for him too!

Fun for all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him take you from behind while you fantasize about the other men in your head. It's like using him as your masturbation toy. It's OK to disconnect like that during sex. He's probably doing the same thing.

What if he makes noise or something? Doesn’t that break your concentration?

You just have to get deep into the fantasy! It’s fun. But doesn’t really work for me if my partner is just plain bad at sex. Some things cannot be remedied.

Yeah, right, I’d love to see your dh’s reaction when you accidentally call him Jamal.

[Anonymous]

Are you joking? I could see it a mile away that you are not engaged and your mind is somewhere else... BS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perimenopause over here with the same sex drive I have always had more or less. I think the hormones matter much less than popular culture says. Yes men and women’s sex drives and sexual function BOTH change over time. But so far nothing has disappeared and I don’t see why it would. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I enjoy orgasms and being turned on so I don’t see that going away. Change yes, go away, no.

You don't see why your ovaries ceasing function would change sex drive and sexual function? I'm glad you've had a positive experience, but to not even understand that other women may experience something different? Huh. To reach middle age and to be either so lacking in knowledge or empathy is embarrassing.

NP, and agree completely.

It is almost as if the PP you answered is trying to deny peri and meno exist at all.

Talk about patronizing!

You think it’s patronizing to say women can enjoy sex in menopause? Ok then!

If only you stopped there. Are you really that clueless here?

Ummm I literally just wrote that women can enjoy sex after menopause. Not sure why you are freaking out.

You don't seem very well versed in message boards. Nobody is "freaking out." They are rightly calling you out on your ill informed nonsense. Did you write the paragraphs on page 2 questioning the role of hormones in reduced sexual function in peri and menopausal women (among other things)? That's a whole lot more than your one senetence above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you joking? I could see it a mile away that you are not engaged and your mind is somewhere else... BS

lol. If only you knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perimenopause over here with the same sex drive I have always had more or less. I think the hormones matter much less than popular culture says. Yes men and women’s sex drives and sexual function BOTH change over time. But so far nothing has disappeared and I don’t see why it would. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I enjoy orgasms and being turned on so I don’t see that going away. Change yes, go away, no.

You don't see why your ovaries ceasing function would change sex drive and sexual function? I'm glad you've had a positive experience, but to not even understand that other women may experience something different? Huh. To reach middle age and to be either so lacking in knowledge or empathy is embarrassing.

NP, and agree completely.

It is almost as if the PP you answered is trying to deny peri and meno exist at all.

Talk about patronizing!

You think it’s patronizing to say women can enjoy sex in menopause? Ok then!

If only you stopped there. Are you really that clueless here?

Ummm I literally just wrote that women can enjoy sex after menopause. Not sure why you are freaking out.

You don't seem very well versed in message boards. Nobody is "freaking out." They are rightly calling you out on your ill informed nonsense. Did you write the paragraphs on page 2 questioning the role of hormones in reduced sexual function in peri and menopausal women (among other things)? That's a whole lot more than your one senetence above.

I said they matter “much less” that popular culture says. I said that many women enjoy sex in perimenopause and menopause and that I personally think that I will continue to do so. And the flip side is that men’s sexual function changes considerably too, but with much much less handwringing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you joking? I could see it a mile away that you are not engaged and your mind is somewhere else... BS

lol. If only you knew.

I suspect my dw does this. She’ll have her eyes closed and get into a groove. I’ll say something like “damn, babe” to which she’ll immediately shush me and tell me to be quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perimenopause over here with the same sex drive I have always had more or less. I think the hormones matter much less than popular culture says. Yes men and women’s sex drives and sexual function BOTH change over time. But so far nothing has disappeared and I don’t see why it would. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I enjoy orgasms and being turned on so I don’t see that going away. Change yes, go away, no.

You don't see why your ovaries ceasing function would change sex drive and sexual function? I'm glad you've had a positive experience, but to not even understand that other women may experience something different? Huh. To reach middle age and to be either so lacking in knowledge or empathy is embarrassing.

NP, and agree completely.

It is almost as if the PP you answered is trying to deny peri and meno exist at all.

Talk about patronizing!

You think it’s patronizing to say women can enjoy sex in menopause? Ok then!

Have you always suffered from reading comprehension issues, PP ?

It is patronizing to dismiss or deny the many any varied symptoms of peri and menopause, which are experienced by half the population of this planet!

And just because you personally avoided a particular symptom in no way means other women aren’t struggling with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perimenopause over here with the same sex drive I have always had more or less. I think the hormones matter much less than popular culture says. Yes men and women’s sex drives and sexual function BOTH change over time. But so far nothing has disappeared and I don’t see why it would. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I enjoy orgasms and being turned on so I don’t see that going away. Change yes, go away, no.

You don't see why your ovaries ceasing function would change sex drive and sexual function? I'm glad you've had a positive experience, but to not even understand that other women may experience something different? Huh. To reach middle age and to be either so lacking in knowledge or empathy is embarrassing.

NP, and agree completely.

It is almost as if the PP you answered is trying to deny peri and meno exist at all.

Talk about patronizing!

You think it’s patronizing to say women can enjoy sex in menopause? Ok then!

Have you always suffered from reading comprehension issues, PP ?

It is patronizing to dismiss or deny the many any varied symptoms of peri and menopause, which are experienced by half the population of this planet!

And just because you personally avoided a particular symptom in no way means other women aren’t struggling with it.

Ummm the point is that perimenopause is not a permanent off switch to your sex drive. Change yes, completely end for all women, no. OP herself just says she doesn’t want to have sex with her DH but still enjoys solo time. I understand you’re really threatened by this so I suggest you try to excavate a bit why that is. This is the point in life when we should be embracing what we want - maybe for some that truly is “no more sex ever” but I think in most cases that is NOT due to hormonal changes alone but other issues as well - unattractive husband, a lifetime of bad sex, SSRIs, inhibitions ….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let him take you from behind while you fantasize about the other men in your head. It's like using him as your masturbation toy. It's OK to disconnect like that during sex. He's probably doing the same thing.

What if he makes noise or something? Doesn’t that break your concentration?

You just have to get deep into the fantasy! It’s fun. But doesn’t really work for me if my partner is just plain bad at sex. Some things cannot be remedied.

+1

What do you do imagine? Like a crush or an actor? A romance novel character?

I get revved up thinking about other men and then during the act I imagine dirty stories I’ve read and I make up my own too 😂. They have to be different for some reason. DH’s presence is largely irrelevant but it’s still better than doing it alone.

NP here. I’m guilty of doing this on occasion too. Whenever I do, DH always makes a comment like “WOW, you were AMAZING. I think I need a minute”. 🤣

So, its good for him too!

Pp you are responding to and I’m pretty convinced women on this board don’t want sex with their husbands because they think they have to want my husbands. I love my husband, I enjoy sex with him, I think he’s handsome and he smells nice, but I haven’t fantasized about him in 15 years maybe. I have a very high sex drive and I think about anybody else. I have high testosterone and I’m pretty sure this is how men’s brains work. They’ll have sex with their wives but get turned on by literally anybody.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure why the hate towards the PP who said she enjoys sex now that she is post-menopausal. I am in the same boat, and it all depends on my partner and my mind. It’s been four years since I had a period and I am still really into sex at 53.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure why the hate towards the PP who said she enjoys sex now that she is post-menopausal. I am in the same boat, and it all depends on my partner and my mind. It’s been four years since I had a period and I am still really into sex at 53.

Yesss.