what schools DON'T have female MS grads in white dresses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, we brought DD a white dress that's great - never really went into it focused on the color but it happens to be white. I don't know that we'd dump it just because it's white but we def did not buy because it is white. I think sometimes you see a lot of white dresses just because it's hot out during the summer??! You wear a black dress to a formal cocktail event even though you can wear other colors but that's just easy. Maybe it's just as easy picking white as a dress color for teens for outdoor formal events at school you know? You do you but it is easy to find a white dress that works and that's about the only reason we have it!

This is the most defensive comment I’ve read on DCUM in some time. And that’s a high bar.

DP: what is defensive about it? It's a simple statement of fact in PP's experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t know the white dresses was a thing (not where I grew up and did Catholic K-8, public HS and big college state school), but I’ve seen a lot of it lately at all graduation levels. Maybe the tradition is actually making a comeback?

I don’t necessarily assume the negative. So it symbolizes purity, but did you not wear a white wedding dress? What did you think you were symbolizing with that? Women also wore white during the suffragist movement and now female leaders often wear it. It’s also just an easy color for cohesion.

Op here - I am from out west and similarly think that this is not as much of a thing in some parts of the country. It seems like it’s much more prevalent around here and in the northeast, both at super traditional prep schools and at Catholic and Episcopal schools. I think the people on here who are saying it is universal or from the south or northeast. But I also share your feeling that maybe becoming more prevalent. In any case, I really love recasting White as a suffrage thing, because you’re right a lot of female leaders do wear it now and they rock it.

I've been to 5 California graduations in the last 8 years and the girls wore white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my kids private there is no official dress code set by the school but all the girls agreed to wear white dresses. I had never heard of it, so I don’t have any associations with it. It seemed a bit weird but whatever

Same for SSFS middle school when my dd was there.

[Anonymous]

It's the color for graduations for some reason. I walked into a chain store to get a dress to attend a college graduation and even the staff said all the graduates are going to be wearing white if you want to avoid that color as a guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I graduated from Madeira in the early 2000s I had to get my white dress approved. We legit wore wedding dresses. In retrospect it was SO ICK.

Holton girls wear long white gowns for graduation. No traditional cap and gown. They don’t look like wedding dresses though. More like long formal gowns.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t know the white dresses was a thing (not where I grew up and did Catholic K-8, public HS and big college state school), but I’ve seen a lot of it lately at all graduation levels. Maybe the tradition is actually making a comeback?

I don’t necessarily assume the negative. So it symbolizes purity, but did you not wear a white wedding dress? What did you think you were symbolizing with that? Women also wore white during the suffragist movement and now female leaders often wear it. It’s also just an easy color for cohesion.

Op here - I am from out west and similarly think that this is not as much of a thing in some parts of the country. It seems like it’s much more prevalent around here and in the northeast, both at super traditional prep schools and at Catholic and Episcopal schools. I think the people on here who are saying it is universal or from the south or northeast. But I also share your feeling that maybe becoming more prevalent. In any case, I really love recasting White as a suffrage thing, because you’re right a lot of female leaders do wear it now and they rock it.

I've been to 5 California graduations in the last 8 years and the girls wore white.

This would seem to me to support the idea that this is actually a trend and on the rise. I am from California and can’t remember or event imagine this happening outside Marlborough or Castilleja in my day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Part of what I am reacting to in the Norwood photos is that there isn’t any deviation from “boys in blue jackets girls in white dresses” that I can see. If there was even one girl in a blue jacket or white pant suit I would find it so much less repelling.

This can't be a serious comment from a sane parent.

You obviously haven't had the experience of parenting a kid who was not ultra gender conforming. It's harder than you might think and can be heartbreaking at moments like these.

You're right I have not and I'm sure it is. But OP's comment that if there was one girl in a blue jacket, she (personally) would find it "so much" less repelling doesn't seem to speak to that issue. This sounds like it's about OP rather than a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I graduated from Madeira in the early 2000s I had to get my white dress approved. We legit wore wedding dresses. In retrospect it was SO ICK.

Holton girls wear long white gowns for graduation. No traditional cap and gown. They don’t look like wedding dresses though. More like long formal gowns.

They look like debutante gowns, if you are familiar with that concept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the color for graduations for some reason. I walked into a chain store to get a dress to attend a college graduation and even the staff said all the graduates are going to be wearing white if you want to avoid that color as a guest.

Funnily, I went to one of those olde/traditional prep schools, and ALL students had to go to graduation and follow the same dress guidelines, not just the seniors. This annoyed me as a teenager, so I got one boring white dress that I wore every year other than the year I myself graduated.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one thinking what about the girls with really heavy periods? I would have been so stressed out over that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Part of what I am reacting to in the Norwood photos is that there isn’t any deviation from “boys in blue jackets girls in white dresses” that I can see. If there was even one girl in a blue jacket or white pant suit I would find it so much less repelling.

Middle school kids are ultra conformist. It’s the age.

The age and the generation. I don’t know if it’s social media or what but I feel like my kids are much more committed to respectability than we were in the 90s.

It surprises me that when they have options, they are choosing the white dress conformity. Even a few years ago there was more variety. About five years ago, the boys in a class at a fairly progressive school opted for Hawaiian style shirts. Thought it might liberate the following classes a little. Nope, back to jackets, ties and white dresses.

[Anonymous]

I know Burke isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but a quick glance at their posts from their 8th grade moving up shows several girls in dresses that aren’t white, some in pants/suits, and some of the boys in non-traditional outfits. There are still some girls in white dresses, but it doesn’t look the majority.

If you’re only looking at conservative/traditional schools, you’re gonna see kids in traditional outfits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Part of what I am reacting to in the Norwood photos is that there isn’t any deviation from “boys in blue jackets girls in white dresses” that I can see. If there was even one girl in a blue jacket or white pant suit I would find it so much less repelling.

I’m with you OP! Definitely use one day out of 3 years (or more) to make a decision about where your child will get the best education!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is a thought. Find a place to send your child that works with your values. Traditions mean a great deal to some of us. The white dresses aren't hurting anyone. Why can't people chose if they want to be traditional or not?

Well, that’s why they are asking - they are trying to figure out if it aligns.

[Anonymous]

I’m from the NE and attended a MC high school in the 90s. The female HS grads wore white cap & gowns so we wore white clothes under them so they weren’t visible. Very casual though. Not long formal dresses.