what schools DON'T have female MS grads in white dresses?

[Anonymous]

Most private schools do this OP. Sounds like you want a public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what the problem is. Why does everyone have to think they can do anything they want all the time without any consideration of others? This is a school. They can tell the kids what to do. And if the parents don't like it, well, guess what, you don't have to go to this particular school.

White dresses for girls' graduations has been common for centuries. My sister's private school did it in the 90s. My mother and grandmother also attended girls' schools and the graduation photos has them in white dresses. White dresses celebrating women's educational achievements goes way back into the early 19th century. Look up all the college and girls school graduation photos from the past. It's a nice tradition. And if you don't like it, find another school.

Completely agree with you.

+ another one. Some people like traditions and formal dress. Some want to wear their pajamas everywhere. People can self select into the culture that fits them best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is a thought. Find a place to send your child that works with your values. Traditions mean a great deal to some of us. The white dresses aren't hurting anyone. Why can't people chose if they want to be traditional or not?

The problem is that what some people call “traditions” are actually representing values that are harmful to others. Many white people don’t want to look into how a tradition was started.

There are phrases that I learned growing up that have racist origins. I wasn’t aware of that; when I became aware, I stopped using the phrases.

Maybe listen to people speaking to why it bothers them, rather than being dismissive.

DP - You don’t get a say in the graduation customs and traditions for a school you don’t even go to. Not going to listen, becuase I don’t care about your opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seeing a friend's pictures on social media of Norwood 8th grade graduation today, and the girls-in-white-dresses thing is not sitting right. I get that it's a private school tradition in these parts, and I generally love traditions, including dressing up for occasions, etc, but this one just feels off in this day and age. Do people explain the tradition of dressing teen girls in white to their DDs or just hope no one asks??

This is probably sticking in my craw particuarly because we have been thinking of applying to Norwood for MS (from a public ES) and it seems great in so many ways, but this debutante dress color thing just underscores my one or two deeper concerns about the place--that it's too country club/cotillion for us, and also kind of old fashioned wrt gender. Making kids dress "boy or girl" even on one day just feels weirdly at odds with what everyone claims to be about nowadays.

I can understand having a dress code so that things look special, but can't it be more along the lines of orchestra dress codes, where they say "black pants/skirt and white shirt OR black dress"? So the graduation version could be: "pants + jacket/white shirt OR dress, if dress please choose white or school color" or some such?

What if any schools have moved onto something a little more 21st century?

This tradition goes back not years, not decades, but at least two centuries.

[Anonymous]

I find it very strange too. The public school girls do it as well. For any graduation MS - College.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most private schools do this OP. Sounds like you want a public school.

Even public schools will have most girls in white dresses because it is a tradition in the U.S.

White doesn’t mean purity in this context. Think about suffragettes wearing white.

[Anonymous]

Some people get so bent out of shape about this and I suspect those people have their own guilt or shame surrounding "purity." While they needn't carry those feelings, and I feel sad that they do, projecting them on to middle school girls wearing white for graduation is absurd and unhelpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do people make a big deal about white dresses? It’s perplexing to me.

We did this at my 8th and 12th grade graduation (private and public). It’s long been a tradition.

Now because it’s a “trend” among teenagers, people are freaking out - LOL.

I don’t know what you’re thinking it implies or means, but it means nothing! Except they want to look cute.

I have never seen people have a fit over the white dresses before. My daughters and all of their friends wore white dresses for their graduations from public. Looking at the SM of friends and relatives, 90+% of girls across racial, cultural, and socioeconomic levels are picking white dresses.

Where is this outrage being expressed other than here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t know the white dresses was a thing (not where I grew up and did Catholic K-8, public HS and big college state school), but I’ve seen a lot of it lately at all graduation levels. Maybe the tradition is actually making a comeback?

I don’t necessarily assume the negative. So it symbolizes purity, but did you not wear a white wedding dress? What did you think you were symbolizing with that? Women also wore white during the suffragist movement and now female leaders often wear it. It’s also just an easy color for cohesion.

Op here - I am from out west and similarly think that this is not as much of a thing in some parts of the country. It seems like it’s much more prevalent around here and in the northeast, both at super traditional prep schools and at Catholic and Episcopal schools. I think the people on here who are saying it is universal or from the south or northeast. But I also share your feeling that maybe becoming more prevalent. In any case, I really love recasting White as a suffrage thing, because you’re right a lot of female leaders do wear it now and they rock it.

I've been to 5 California graduations in the last 8 years and the girls wore white.

I graduated from a MS (back then called Jr High) in California in the 70’s and wore a white dress even back then. OP is delusional.

Exactly. Can you imagine rejecting a school because of you daughter would have to wear a white dress for graduation?

[Anonymous]

I thought white dresses were about equality and a blank slate- a nod to the past and new beginnings. I hate when parents let their kids skirt the dress code- the boys in ugly Christmas sweater suits for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is a thought. Find a place to send your child that works with your values. Traditions mean a great deal to some of us. The white dresses aren't hurting anyone. Why can't people chose if they want to be traditional or not?

The problem is that what some people call “traditions” are actually representing values that are harmful to others. Many white people don’t want to look into how a tradition was started.

There are phrases that I learned growing up that have racist origins. I wasn’t aware of that; when I became aware, I stopped using the phrases.

Maybe listen to people speaking to why it bothers them, rather than being dismissive.

Really? Since you seem to know so much about this, please enlighten us all on how the white dresses for girls at graduations, specifically, represents a value that is harmful to others. Please provide a concrete example.

I attended a high school graduation yesterday at what is thought of as a progressive school. Every single boy wore a dark suit, white shirt and tie of his choosing. Every single girl wore a white dress of some sort, with variations in the length. To think that this "bothers" people like you is pretty hard to take seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the regular short white dress triggers you OP, you better not look at the all girls' Catholic high school graduation photos on their websites. You might have a heart attack. I will add one school has a coming out ball where the girls dress like brides and wear long white gloves to be presented by their fathers. It doesn't bother me at all, but you might get a grip because this is what people accept/expect.

What school is that? That is some great patriarchal b.s.

StoneRidge

That is a traditional catholic school
No surprise that they have old traditions
If it isn’t for you then don’t send your daughter.

[Anonymous]

My daughter graduated from high school today. It is a private school. White dresses which had to be without 3 inches of the floor or dark blue sports jackets, oxfords, khakis and a school tie. Either outfit for either girl or boy but you have to pick.

As parents, we are happy to have the tradition at graduation. We picked the school and I’m thankful they have decades of such traditions.

It seems like an odd thing to get hung up on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most private schools do this OP. Sounds like you want a public school.

Even public schools will have most girls in white dresses because it is a tradition in the U.S.

White doesn’t mean purity in this context. Think about suffragettes wearing white.

There are also numerous non-western cultures where white has a religious or cultural significance that has nothing to do with weddings or purity. (And where white is very much NOT associated with weddings.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter graduated from high school today. It is a private school. White dresses which had to be without 3 inches of the floor or dark blue sports jackets, oxfords, khakis and a school tie. Either outfit for either girl or boy but you have to pick.

As parents, we are happy to have the tradition at graduation. We picked the school and I’m thankful they have decades of such traditions.

It seems like an odd thing to get hung up on.

Seems like an odd thing for so many people here to be vigorously defending too.