Cities you don’t want your kids to live in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No red states, including any cities within

Right on cue, the nutter arrives.

Maybe her daughter needs regular abortions lol

So does yours you just don’t know it.

Cause these days, girls just use the day after pill or an abortion pill. Same thing. They just don’t tell you, You’re so out of touch you don’t understand it.

Lol. Young people are barely having sex these days, so they aren’t the ones using the pill. The people using the people are married women who don’t want an oops baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No red states, including any cities within

Right on cue, the nutter arrives.

Maybe her daughter needs regular abortions lol

So does yours you just don’t know it.

Cause these days, girls just use the day after pill or an abortion pill. Same thing. They just don’t tell you, You’re so out of touch you don’t understand it.

Lol. Young people are barely having sex these days, so they aren’t the ones using the pill. The people using the people are married women who don’t want an oops baby.

+1. Young men would rather watch porn on their phone rather than do the hard work of convincing a woman to actually sleep with them, not get her pregnant, and not be accused of rape when they thought they had consent. It’s just too much.

[Anonymous]

If there are genuine safety or affordability concerns then I think those are legitimate factors. For instance if they’re looking at a very HCOL city where it would be a struggle to afford housing in a safe area and food, then I can see nixing that from the list.

Or if there are other practicalities like your kid doesn’t drive but wants to attend a rural car-dependent school, your kid says they want to come home to visit several times per year but airfare would be prohibitive, or they have some health condition that requires living close to particular healthcare facilities, etc. But even then it is not about parental preference. I would never tell my kid they couldn’t go to school in Chicago just because I hate cold weather (now I might encourage them to visit in the winter before committing so they can get a real feel for it).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is off the list for us as a California family. Couldn’t believe how bad it was last time we visited.

Totally, San Bernardino and Eureka are so much nicer than DC

[Anonymous]

Colleges in urban areas pose real housing problems. If a kid wants to live off campus, by choice or lack of University housing, are you going to pay for a 12 month lease.

On the other side of the equation, small, isolated, rural campuses are hard to get to. Can you Uber there from an airport? or an 8 hour drive from home with no options to fly in and out?

You will be going to and from campus a LOT. Especially that first year. Transportation costs add up. A cheap flight home may be easier and cheaper than having to drive 8 hours to rural Vermont four times there and back first semester freshman year.

are there any hotels near campus? Or is it just the one fancy hotel that is always fully booked? This is a real concern if you are visiting from far away, or heck, just want to be able to book a room for graduation!

Is there a good hospital within a 30 minute drive from campus? I'm not talking about a health center or a small regional hospital, I mean, if there is a serious accident, where is your kid going to be treated?

Is it safe? From petty theft to muggings, these are real concerns. Drunk college kids who grew up in the suburbs forget that there are real threats in certain areas of town.

Is the weather going to be depressing as he!!? Cold weather is fun on paper, but some people end up with SAD or just drinking in a basement for four months.

If they are in a fun city, it's going to cost you $$ - going out to dinner, bars, lyfts and Ubers. Do you have the budget or are you going to hobble your kid's social life by telling them they can never leave campus?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want them to live anywhere they can't get an abortion.

NP. I’ve never understood this thinking because at this point as teens, I hope they can come and talk to us about anything and would not want them to hide it from us and go through this alone. And I would pay for them to fly anywhere if they couldn’t get one in their current city. I don’t want my kids making college decisions based on this.

But I do want them to have decent access to overall health care. I grew up in a small town and it was lacking. So I think it is important to have medical care and easy access to an airport. I would not stop them from attending any school unless we couldn’t afford it.

Are you not aware that some states are trying to criminalize leaving the state to obtain an abortion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want them to live anywhere they can't get an abortion.

You can’t/wouldn’t pay for them to go somewhere they could? That, plus the fact you think DD might need one, seem like the issues that should drive college choice or choices concerning whether college is the best first for the kid at this stage of their life.

Those girls are not flying around getting abortions or even going in for what us 80s girls considered an abortion.

They are taking the abortion pill and they are doing it at home. If something goes wrong, guess what they get rushed to the hospital and guess what if they are in a state where abortion is illegal they get arrested…. Or they send them home and say we can’t treat you and since girls are not completely educated about their bodies they bleed out.

How long will that be available?
https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/5779756-hawley-fda-approval-mifepristone/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No red states, including any cities within

Right on cue, the nutter arrives.

Maybe her daughter needs regular abortions lol

So does yours you just don’t know it.

Cause these days, girls just use the day after pill or an abortion pill. Same thing. They just don’t tell you, You’re so out of touch you don’t understand it.

Lol. Young people are barely having sex these days, so they aren’t the ones using the pill. The people using the people are married women who don’t want an oops baby.

+1. Young men would rather watch porn on their phone rather than do the hard work of convincing a woman to actually sleep with them, not get her pregnant, and not be accused of rape when they thought they had consent. It’s just too much.

+2. Young people today are much more conservative than we were. The risks of saying something, doing something, etc that will later be brought back in 10 years to haunt you are just too high. Much safer just to stay on the phone and avoid any mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I strongly encourage kids to leave their comfort zone when going to college (within reason - I'm not sending my Jewish kid to Liberty or a Catholic kid to Yeshiva). It is part of the experience. I spent most of my life in and around NYC and know too many people who have never left the northeast corridor so have a very provincial view of the world.

And there are way too many people in the rest of America who are afraid of us northerners and the "big bad cities" and would be well served to spend some time in one of these places rather than going from their youth in small town Texas to Texas A&M for college.

Agreed. And FWIW, most people on this board seemed to be absolutely terrified of the South, not the North.

And as someone who was born and raised in the South, and now lives in a NE metro area, I am 100% certain that "y'all" are as geographically prejudiced as any small town Texan.

Informed, intelligent people are generally less prejudiced than isolated, ignorant people. And that runs both ways on Interstate 95

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want them to live anywhere they can't get an abortion.

NP. I’ve never understood this thinking because at this point as teens, I hope they can come and talk to us about anything and would not want them to hide it from us and go through this alone. And I would pay for them to fly anywhere if they couldn’t get one in their current city. I don’t want my kids making college decisions based on this.

But I do want them to have decent access to overall health care. I grew up in a small town and it was lacking. So I think it is important to have medical care and easy access to an airport. I would not stop them from attending any school unless we couldn’t afford it.

I think that this thinking doesn’t address all the possibilities. Of course we want our kids to come to us with anything and we’ll help them. But the medical reality is that some women don’t even realize they are pregnant until there is a life-threatening complication. I don’t want mine in a state that would let her die rather than provide life-saving care. I also just don’t love what those laws say about how women are treated in general in those places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I strongly encourage kids to leave their comfort zone when going to college (within reason - I'm not sending my Jewish kid to Liberty or a Catholic kid to Yeshiva). It is part of the experience. I spent most of my life in and around NYC and know too many people who have never left the northeast corridor so have a very provincial view of the world.

And there are way too many people in the rest of America who are afraid of us northerners and the "big bad cities" and would be well served to spend some time in one of these places rather than going from their youth in small town Texas to Texas A&M for college.

Agreed. And FWIW, most people on this board seemed to be absolutely terrified of the South, not the North.

And as someone who was born and raised in the South, and now lives in a NE metro area, I am 100% certain that "y'all" are as geographically prejudiced as any small town Texan.

Informed, intelligent people are generally less prejudiced than isolated, ignorant people. And that runs both ways on Interstate 95

You misspelled “disgusted”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want them to live anywhere they can't get an abortion.

NP. I’ve never understood this thinking because at this point as teens, I hope they can come and talk to us about anything and would not want them to hide it from us and go through this alone. And I would pay for them to fly anywhere if they couldn’t get one in their current city. I don’t want my kids making college decisions based on this.

But I do want them to have decent access to overall health care. I grew up in a small town and it was lacking. So I think it is important to have medical care and easy access to an airport. I would not stop them from attending any school unless we couldn’t afford it.

I think that this thinking doesn’t address all the possibilities. Of course we want our kids to come to us with anything and we’ll help them. But the medical reality is that some women don’t even realize they are pregnant until there is a life-threatening complication. I don’t want mine in a state that would let her die rather than provide life-saving care. I also just don’t love what those laws say about how women are treated in general in those places.

+1

I’d bet $1 million that my DD will never need an abortion. But I want her to have adequate reproductive medical care. Doctors avoid red states. They hesitate on certain procedures because of potential legal consequences. I don’t want her caught up in that.

Plus, who wants to spend 4 years near millions of people who don’t value your life.

[Anonymous]

Not your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is off the list for us as a California family. Couldn’t believe how bad it was last time we visited.

Totally, San Bernardino and Eureka are so much nicer than DC

This is fair criticism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are some incredibly dumb posts here. Wow.

I live in NYC. I love it here. But college here is a unique experience. It could be incredible. But you and your kid need to know what they are getting into.

And same for a truly remote school like Grinnell. Could be a cool experience but you need to know what you are getting into.

If you are rejecting a big bad Democrat city just because you are dumb enough to get your propaganda from Fox News and they have told you it is scary there, you aren’t smart enough to go to college.

LOL. DCUM is filled with dumb people getting their propaganda from MSNBC News or whatever they call themselves, NPR, NYT and scaring their kids away from Iowa or Texas or Florida or most places south of the Mason Dixon line. Way more than the other way around.