How to handle being pissed at a college

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Scary, I totally understand why you’re mad!

Oddly, I would have handled it better seeing nobody from the school admitted because it would have felt less personal. Admitting another kid with lesser stats and no connection just leaves such a bitter taste.

This sounds pathologic, other kid had something that your kid did not.

And her kid has stuff that kid didn’t. They won, it’s not pathological to have these feelings. Geez.

yes, it actually is. Who cares if the kids go to different schools? Celebrate where the younger kid got admitted and move on with life.

DP. It’s called venting. I do it here so it doesn’t interfere in my real life. I can dump feelings and then move on. I get it.

Exactly! It’s healthy to get it out. Her kid was qualified, didn’t sound entitled to me, just disappointed. Sounds normal to me!

For a week or two. It's been months. My guess is the kid is totally fine and most of the angst is solely on the part of mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your first child at the college proved to be a disappointment on some level.

You clearly don’t believe in karma. Do better.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You stop donating. And every time someone from development contacts you, you tell them "no" and why it's "no."

Donate? I only donate where I went to school. My “donation” to where my kids attended was done in the form of tuition.

When a tradition is there with multiple family members, alum, etc., they get more donations due to the generational ties the family has with the school. OP’s school lost out and made a dumb decision.

If OP were an alum, then yes. But I don’t see anyone calling up OP as a parent and asking for a donation and thus giving OP the opportunity to unload their distaste.

Ha. OP here: I have been directly, personal phone call from alum office a month after my firstborn enrolled. We get lots of emails to contribute to different initiatives. Full-pay, didn’t attend the school myself. They solicit more than my own alma mater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You stop donating. And every time someone from development contacts you, you tell them "no" and why it's "no."

Donate? I only donate where I went to school. My “donation” to where my kids attended was done in the form of tuition.

When a tradition is there with multiple family members, alum, etc., they get more donations due to the generational ties the family has with the school. OP’s school lost out and made a dumb decision.

If OP were an alum, then yes. But I don’t see anyone calling up OP as a parent and asking for a donation and thus giving OP the opportunity to unload their distaste.

Ha. OP here: I have been directly, personal phone call from alum office a month after my firstborn enrolled. We get lots of emails to contribute to different initiatives. Full-pay, didn’t attend the school myself. They solicit more than my own alma mater.

If you haven't donated a decent amount, there is no leverage to be had there.

[Anonymous]

For the love of God, the first child is not a disappointment. I know a younger sibling this happened to at an Ivy and the first child literally won a departmental award during the year prior to the second one applying. Like
"best math student at the university" given by the math dept faculty. Younger kid had a 4.0/1550. Denied.

Sometimes it's just random and it sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the love of God, the first child is not a disappointment. I know a younger sibling this happened to at an Ivy and the first child literally won a departmental award during the year prior to the second one applying. Like
"best math student at the university" given by the math dept faculty. Younger kid had a 4.0/1550. Denied.

Sometimes it's just random and it sucks.

<---I'm a different poster and this comment was directed at the jerk who said the first child must be a disappointment for the university to not admit the second

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…where you have a current student and then there sibling with uw 4.0, 36 ACT and similar great ecs/recs/activities gets rejected. Having a hard time after seeing a kid with much lower stats get off WL and in. The holistic B’s is not an answer. Older sibling is also thriving and top of class- so it’s not that either.

It leaves such a sour taste in my mouth.

Are you the Brown mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the love of God, the first child is not a disappointment. I know a younger sibling this happened to at an Ivy and the first child literally won a departmental award during the year prior to the second one applying. Like
"best math student at the university" given by the math dept faculty. Younger kid had a 4.0/1550. Denied.

Sometimes it's just random and it sucks.

Ha! OP here so did my firstborn. A departmental “best” award, paid fellowship, etc. Very similar. It’s as if it’s not a plus or even a neutral- but actually seen as a negative to have a family connection.

I’m done. Moving on. Thanks for letting me vent, and special thanks to the poster that shared a similar story and transfer details.

The negative trolls don’t bother me one bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the love of God, the first child is not a disappointment. I know a younger sibling this happened to at an Ivy and the first child literally won a departmental award during the year prior to the second one applying. Like
"best math student at the university" given by the math dept faculty. Younger kid had a 4.0/1550. Denied.

Sometimes it's just random and it sucks.

<---I'm a different poster and this comment was directed at the jerk who said the first child must be a disappointment for the university to not admit the second

So how else would you explain it? Be precise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You stop donating. And every time someone from development contacts you, you tell them "no" and why it's "no."

Donate? I only donate where I went to school. My “donation” to where my kids attended was done in the form of tuition.

When a tradition is there with multiple family members, alum, etc., they get more donations due to the generational ties the family has with the school. OP’s school lost out and made a dumb decision.

If OP were an alum, then yes. But I don’t see anyone calling up OP as a parent and asking for a donation and thus giving OP the opportunity to unload their distaste.

Ha. OP here: I have been directly, personal phone call from alum office a month after my firstborn enrolled. We get lots of emails to contribute to different initiatives. Full-pay, didn’t attend the school myself. They solicit more than my own alma mater.

If you haven't donated a decent amount, there is no leverage to be had there.

I wasn’t trying to leverage. It was in response to somebody saying they won’t directly solicit me since I’m not an alum myself. That’s not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the love of God, the first child is not a disappointment. I know a younger sibling this happened to at an Ivy and the first child literally won a departmental award during the year prior to the second one applying. Like
"best math student at the university" given by the math dept faculty. Younger kid had a 4.0/1550. Denied.

Sometimes it's just random and it sucks.

<---I'm a different poster and this comment was directed at the jerk who said the first child must be a disappointment for the university to not admit the second

So how else would you explain it? Be precise.

Maybe read the actual response about the firstborn’s success. These things make zero sense a lot of the time and that is what frustrates people. The negative trolls try to assume there is something negative. There isn’t. Great kids get rejected all of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the love of God, the first child is not a disappointment. I know a younger sibling this happened to at an Ivy and the first child literally won a departmental award during the year prior to the second one applying. Like
"best math student at the university" given by the math dept faculty. Younger kid had a 4.0/1550. Denied.

Sometimes it's just random and it sucks.

<---I'm a different poster and this comment was directed at the jerk who said the first child must be a disappointment for the university to not admit the second

So how else would you explain it? Be precise.

You are a piece of work. Have you ever heard how long an AO spends on an application? So, you’re suggesting when they see a sibling box checked they are now doing a full scale investigation on said child? Don’t need to know more from you, you clearly don’t know how any of this works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the love of God, the first child is not a disappointment. I know a younger sibling this happened to at an Ivy and the first child literally won a departmental award during the year prior to the second one applying. Like
"best math student at the university" given by the math dept faculty. Younger kid had a 4.0/1550. Denied.

Sometimes it's just random and it sucks.

Ha! OP here so did my firstborn. A departmental “best” award, paid fellowship, etc. Very similar. It’s as if it’s not a plus or even a neutral- but actually seen as a negative to have a family connection.

I’m done. Moving on. Thanks for letting me vent, and special thanks to the poster that shared a similar story and transfer details.

The negative trolls don’t bother me one bit.

Negative trolls? One person made a crazy comment, the others offered much needed perspective. The schools either does or does not care about sibling legacy. In either case, they aren't going to look up your other kid's academic performance. Doubtful the presence of a sibling was a negative -- your kid just didn't win the admissions lottery at that school. We all know it takes a lot more than high stats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact they took another kid with lesser stats and no connection, I won’t lie, that would seriously piss me off.

My kid was flat out rejected from my alma mater, which I would be OK generally except....I know a few kids who have gotten in since then (some off of the WL) with lesser stats. Granted, my kid was applying for a high demand major, but it still pisses me off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the love of God, the first child is not a disappointment. I know a younger sibling this happened to at an Ivy and the first child literally won a departmental award during the year prior to the second one applying. Like
"best math student at the university" given by the math dept faculty. Younger kid had a 4.0/1550. Denied.

Sometimes it's just random and it sucks.

<---I'm a different poster and this comment was directed at the jerk who said the first child must be a disappointment for the university to not admit the second

So how else would you explain it? Be precise.

Maybe read the actual response about the firstborn’s success. These things make zero sense a lot of the time and that is what frustrates people. The negative trolls try to assume there is something negative. There isn’t. Great kids get rejected all of the time.

And zero chance these trolls attended or have a kid at any of these schools. They are bitter and it’s their way of pretending they have power.