How to handle being pissed at a college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You stop donating. And every time someone from development contacts you, you tell them "no" and why it's "no."

Donate? I only donate where I went to school. My “donation” to where my kids attended was done in the form of tuition.

Exactly!

And then your second child will be treated just as OP’s was. This isn’t a game. Schools want parents who are invested in the school and will give money. That is why alums also give the big bucks to help their kids get in at a later date. Not fair? They are private institutions and can do whatever they want to make sure $$ keep rolling in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid got off waitlist for school I suspect you’re speaking about a few years ago. They are making a name for themselves on campus. There was not a deficiency, just a lack of space. Ignore everyone saying otherwise.

Of course it's not always a deficiency. But if acceptance rates are 5-7%, that means 93-95% of applicants are REJECTED. And of those, majority are actually qualified and have what the school wants. There just isn't space. Now the issue is with parents thinking someone with a 1560 and 4.0UW and 10AP is better than someone with a 1500/3.95UW/5 AP because that is all their HS has (or even if they have more, kid didn't take it). At some point, essays do matter, and yes it's a fine line between acceptance and rejection when I suspect only 5-15% of those applying are not actually "qualified" candidates. It's a numbers game and someone "qualified" should easily understand that

And yes realize that others may actually have a better essay or teacher recommendations or just better life story---these top schools are looking for game changers, including those who have not had all the privileges for the first 18 years of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Most cases where there are a multiple siblings at a school are because of (1) parent and grandparent legacies, and (2) large donor family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid’s Ivy takes current siblings as a factor. In fact, on Instagram a few interviewed on one of those roaming campus things I watched lately point blank said that’s why they got in. That this Ivy siblings. It’s an HYP. They aren t all the same on that.

Yes, historically Harvard has been known for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…where you have a current student and then there sibling with uw 4.0, 36 ACT and similar great ecs/recs/activities gets rejected. Having a hard time after seeing a kid with much lower stats get off WL and in. The holistic B’s is not an answer. Older sibling is also thriving and top of class- so it’s not that either.

It leaves such a sour taste in my mouth.

I understand why you would have a bad taste in your mouth. I would as well if I were in your shoes. We are all human. That being said, I think it is time to get excited about the school that your child committed to. It sounds like he had many great choices!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got off waitlist for school I suspect you’re speaking about a few years ago. They are making a name for themselves on campus. There was not a deficiency, just a lack of space. Ignore everyone saying otherwise.

Of course it's not always a deficiency. But if acceptance rates are 5-7%, that means 93-95% of applicants are REJECTED. And of those, majority are actually qualified and have what the school wants. There just isn't space. Now the issue is with parents thinking someone with a 1560 and 4.0UW and 10AP is better than someone with a 1500/3.95UW/5 AP because that is all their HS has (or even if they have more, kid didn't take it). At some point, essays do matter, and yes it's a fine line between acceptance and rejection when I suspect only 5-15% of those applying are not actually "qualified" candidates. It's a numbers game and someone "qualified" should easily understand that

And yes realize that others may actually have a better essay or teacher recommendations or just better life story---these top schools are looking for game changers, including those who have not had all the privileges for the first 18 years of their lives.

Yup, at our private, as long as in the top quarter of the class, Ivy admission is a realistic possibility. Schools care about special talents or accomplishments (science or music usually), leadership, and strength of extracurricular/volunteer experiences over straight stats. Essays and teacher recommendations are another layer -- even among equally well written essays, one kid may come across as more of a "glue" empathetic kid and another as a striver. The former are in demand these days. The idea that another kid was not "as strong" as op's kid is a joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…where you have a current student and then there sibling with uw 4.0, 36 ACT and similar great ecs/recs/activities gets rejected. Having a hard time after seeing a kid with much lower stats get off WL and in. The holistic B’s is not an answer. Older sibling is also thriving and top of class- so it’s not that either.

It leaves such a sour taste in my mouth.

Rigor was too low with the younger,
or the older one was male and the younger female.
Or older one fit a humanities or arts/theater major or other undersubcribed true interest and younger is a typical engineering or premed or finance kid.
Happens.
Move on i guess.
It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid’s Ivy takes current siblings as a factor. In fact, on Instagram a few interviewed on one of those roaming campus things I watched lately point blank said that’s why they got in. That this Ivy siblings. It’s an HYP. They aren t all the same on that.

Yes, historically Harvard has been known for this.

No they aren't. Harvard cares only about parent/grandparent legacies, but guess what, siblings have the same legacy parents and grandparents. The only T20 with a strong stand along sibling preference is Vandy.

[Anonymous]

Y’all or so literal. I think OP has a sense of how elite admissions works. She was disappointed (normal) and has a knee-jerk vent seeing lower stat student get in. I’m quite sure she’s very aware of the many components of an application and knows she doesn’t know all. It’s an emotional reaction!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact they took another kid with lesser stats and no connection, I won’t lie, that would seriously piss me off.

Agree. I think OP's anger is justified. I think it benefits everyone, including the University, if they admit a (qualified) sibling. It seems strange that they wouldn't admit this student. Yield protection for high stats doesn't make sense if there is already an established relationship.

Would you say that if that qualified sibling took your DC's place?

Just curious.

Yes I would say that. I would not resent this because I believe what I said. I think it benefits everyone for qualified siblings to be admitted.

The conflation of the benefits for “everyone” with one for this family is remarkable.

In fact, sibling preference works to the detriment of other families with “qualified” applicants by reducing the number of spaces available for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y’all or so literal. I think OP has a sense of how elite admissions works. She was disappointed (normal) and has a knee-jerk vent seeing lower stat student get in. I’m quite sure she’s very aware of the many components of an application and knows she doesn’t know all. It’s an emotional reaction!

It is called entitlement, revealed by her certainty and frustration that other lower stats kids were admitted.

[Anonymous]

It’s smart to post a vent on here as the posters will make you dislike them more than whatever was previously bothering you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s smart to post a vent on here as the posters will make you dislike them more than whatever was previously bothering you.

Or just perhaps, one will realize how stupid and petty their vent is. Op seems too blinded by her entitlement for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s smart to post a vent on here as the posters will make you dislike them more than whatever was previously bothering you.

Or just perhaps, one will realize how stupid and petty their vent is. Op seems too blinded by her entitlement for that.

Actually- seemed pretty even keel and moved on. Even thanked pps before signing off. The troll feeding frenzy is swarming for chum and just plain nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s smart to post a vent on here as the posters will make you dislike them more than whatever was previously bothering you.

Or just perhaps, one will realize how stupid and petty their vent is. Op seems too blinded by her entitlement for that.

Actually- seemed pretty even keel and moved on. Even thanked pps before signing off. The troll feeding frenzy is swarming for chum and just plain nasty.

Op, when you keep coming back here to call everyone who disagrees with you a troll, you look unhinged. With the exception of one post unfairly insulting your older son, the entire thread was civil and substantive.