How to handle being pissed at a college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had this happen. Second child was admitted to 4 Ivies but not the older sibling's school despite having a great anpplication and applying ED1. They went elsewhere, got a 4.0 and applied as a transfer, got in and are going in the fall as a sophomore. First child has a 4.0 at the school in question it wasn't like they've burnt any bridge either.

It's a hard situation because you want to tell the school to f-off but you have a child there AND you're paying them a lot of money. I'm looking forward to putting this behind us and going all-in at this school.

Exactly !!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had this happen. Second child was admitted to 4 Ivies but not the older sibling's school despite having a great anpplication and applying ED1. They went elsewhere, got a 4.0 and applied as a transfer, got in and are going in the fall as a sophomore. First child has a 4.0 at the school in question it wasn't like they've burnt any bridge either.

It's a hard situation because you want to tell the school to f-off but you have a child there AND you're paying them a lot of money. I'm looking forward to putting this behind us and going all-in at this school.

Also, second sibling is a girl. it's definitely easier for boys.

In this process we met another sibling girl who is a double legacy as well and didn't get in despite applying ED and having great grades and being admitted to 2 other top10 schools. Admissions can be brutal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had this happen. Second child was admitted to 4 Ivies but not the older sibling's school despite having a great anpplication and applying ED1. They went elsewhere, got a 4.0 and applied as a transfer, got in and are going in the fall as a sophomore. First child has a 4.0 at the school in question it wasn't like they've burnt any bridge either.

It's a hard situation because you want to tell the school to f-off but you have a child there AND you're paying them a lot of money. I'm looking forward to putting this behind us and going all-in at this school.

Also, second sibling is a girl. it's definitely easier for boys.

In this process we met another sibling girl who is a double legacy as well and didn't get in despite applying ED and having great grades and being admitted to 2 other top10 schools. Admissions can be brutal.

This Ivy has had a lot of student activism against legacy of any kind, so it was like the connection actually was a negative factor —-which is it’s own kind of discrimination ironically,

[Anonymous]

Scary, I totally understand why you’re mad!

[Anonymous]

^ recent grads are often AOs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…where you have a current student and then there sibling with uw 4.0, 36 ACT and similar great ecs/recs/activities gets rejected. Having a hard time after seeing a kid with much lower stats get off WL and in. The holistic B’s is not an answer. Older sibling is also thriving and top of class- so it’s not that either.

It leaves such a sour taste in my mouth.

Much more helpful if you said which school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Scary, I totally understand why you’re mad!

Oddly, I would have handled it better seeing nobody from the school admitted because it would have felt less personal. Admitting another kid with lesser stats and no connection just leaves such a bitter taste.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You stop donating. And every time someone from development contacts you, you tell them "no" and why it's "no."

Donate? I only donate where I went to school. My “donation” to where my kids attended was done in the form of tuition.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had this happen. Second child was admitted to 4 Ivies but not the older sibling's school despite having a great anpplication and applying ED1. They went elsewhere, got a 4.0 and applied as a transfer, got in and are going in the fall as a sophomore. First child has a 4.0 at the school in question it wasn't like they've burnt any bridge either.

It's a hard situation because you want to tell the school to f-off but you have a child there AND you're paying them a lot of money. I'm looking forward to putting this behind us and going all-in at this school.

We are thinking of trying that route, but I don’t want the first year to not be fully enjoyed by fixating on a transfer. Was your kid able to fully immerse herself and enjoy freshmen year. It seems like if you made connections and good friends it would be hard to leave ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…where you have a current student and then there sibling with uw 4.0, 36 ACT and similar great ecs/recs/activities gets rejected. Having a hard time after seeing a kid with much lower stats get off WL and in. The holistic B’s is not an answer. Older sibling is also thriving and top of class- so it’s not that either.

It leaves such a sour taste in my mouth.

OP we had something similar happen...except older kid is the one with the higher stats. Older kid got in and graduated. Younger kid had similar stats, but not quite as strong. Very different admission cycle (7 years apart), so have to consider that. Admission rate was 17% when DS got in, 9% when DD was rejected. It hurt, but we still love the school because DS had such a good experience there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:…where you have a current student and then there sibling with uw 4.0, 36 ACT and similar great ecs/recs/activities gets rejected. Having a hard time after seeing a kid with much lower stats get off WL and in. The holistic B’s is not an answer. Older sibling is also thriving and top of class- so it’s not that either.

It leaves such a sour taste in my mouth.

OP we had something similar happen...except older kid is the one with the higher stats. Older kid got in and graduated. Younger kid had similar stats, but not quite as strong. Very different admission cycle (7 years apart), so have to consider that. Admission rate was 17% when DS got in, 9% when DD was rejected. It hurt, but we still love the school because DS had such a good experience there.

Admission rate is the same - 2 years apart. Older one is a rising junior. We were told if a sibling is currently enrolled they often treat it like a twin when their stats are the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:…where you have a current student and then there sibling with uw 4.0, 36 ACT and similar great ecs/recs/activities gets rejected. Having a hard time after seeing a kid with much lower stats get off WL and in. The holistic B’s is not an answer. Older sibling is also thriving and top of class- so it’s not that either.

It leaves such a sour taste in my mouth.

OP we had something similar happen...except older kid is the one with the higher stats. Older kid got in and graduated. Younger kid had similar stats, but not quite as strong. Very different admission cycle (7 years apart), so have to consider that. Admission rate was 17% when DS got in, 9% when DD was rejected. It hurt, but we still love the school because DS had such a good experience there.

Admission rate is the same - 2 years apart. Older one is a rising junior. We were told if a sibling is currently enrolled they often treat it like a twin when their stats are the same.

5.5% both years, if not slightly easier this cycle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had this happen. Second child was admitted to 4 Ivies but not the older sibling's school despite having a great anpplication and applying ED1. They went elsewhere, got a 4.0 and applied as a transfer, got in and are going in the fall as a sophomore. First child has a 4.0 at the school in question it wasn't like they've burnt any bridge either.

It's a hard situation because you want to tell the school to f-off but you have a child there AND you're paying them a lot of money. I'm looking forward to putting this behind us and going all-in at this school.

We are thinking of trying that route, but I don’t want the first year to not be fully enjoyed by fixating on a transfer. Was your kid able to fully immerse herself and enjoy freshmen year. It seems like if you made connections and good friends it would be hard to leave ?

So my kid went all-in at the freshman year school and none of us spoke the word "transfer" until mid Feb of this year (apps were due mid March). In mid-Feb they told us out-of-the-blue that they wanted to put an application in.

A kid has to get fully engaged in their current school if they want to transfer as they'll need 2 professor recs plus a resume of involvement at their current school that supports their major. And the top schools only want transfer students who are doing something pretty great at their current school and current community. Even more so than freshman apps they are looking for movers and shakers that are passionately involved in something on a large scale. P

Good luck! It's been a journey. I still wonder why it all happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had this happen. Second child was admitted to 4 Ivies but not the older sibling's school despite having a great anpplication and applying ED1. They went elsewhere, got a 4.0 and applied as a transfer, got in and are going in the fall as a sophomore. First child has a 4.0 at the school in question it wasn't like they've burnt any bridge either.

It's a hard situation because you want to tell the school to f-off but you have a child there AND you're paying them a lot of money. I'm looking forward to putting this behind us and going all-in at this school.

We are thinking of trying that route, but I don’t want the first year to not be fully enjoyed by fixating on a transfer. Was your kid able to fully immerse herself and enjoy freshmen year. It seems like if you made connections and good friends it would be hard to leave ?

So my kid went all-in at the freshman year school and none of us spoke the word "transfer" until mid Feb of this year (apps were due mid March). In mid-Feb they told us out-of-the-blue that they wanted to put an application in.

A kid has to get fully engaged in their current school if they want to transfer as they'll need 2 professor recs plus a resume of involvement at their current school that supports their major. And the top schools only want transfer students who are doing something pretty great at their current school and current community. Even more so than freshman apps they are looking for movers and shakers that are passionately involved in something on a large scale. P

Good luck! It's been a journey. I still wonder why it all happened.

Thanks so much !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a random process. You win some, you lose some. It could be worse -- both got rejected. Move on.

Yes. I don't know how anyone can go through this process twice and see that a huge amount of it is random. (Obviously there are some kids who will never get in and a few who will Maybe they already had too many students from your area this year. Maybe the first student got in because they wanted a trumpet player/chemistry enthusiast/journlism student/poet or whatever and didn't have one. Maybe the admissions officer was in a good/bad mood that morning.

Siblings almost always get in with same stats if they ED- which was done.

This is not true -- different cycles, different institutional priorities, different local competition, perhaps also different genders and different majors.