Would you tell a pregnant stranger her husband was cheating?

[Anonymous]

Just do it anonymously. She needs to know for health reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a large local FB group, and a woman posted looking for an in-home nanny for her 6mo, and eventually for another baby due this October. I clicked her profile out of curiosity and immediately recognized her husband from his profile photo.

Turns out he’s the same guy my friend casually dated for a couple weeks back in March. We even met him once at a small event before he abruptly ghosted her. My friend had absolutely no idea he was married and, at the time, had a 4mo and a pregnant wife.

I showed my friend the FB profile to confirm, and yes, it’s definitely him, real first name and all.

I asked my friend whether we should somehow tell the wife, but she wants no involvement. I don’t know this woman at all and wouldn’t otherwise be connected to her, and my friend isn’t on FB so no connection there. I’m just a random stranger.

Would you message her anonymously or stay out of it? Part of me feels awful for her, especially with a baby and another on the way, but part of me thinks maybe it’s not my place?

You don't know her. Don't meddle. She is in a vulnerable state with a baby and a pregnancy, you don't want to be the cause of any turmoil in her life. If he is cheating and she is intelligent, she'll find out and deal with it in her own time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh gosh don't get involved if you don't know either of them. They could be polyamorous. It could be a green-card marriage and she gave him a hall pass. Who knows, but in any case, you don't have enough information to go on.

If its a green card sham or open marriage, it wouldn't make any difference if OP tells her.

[Anonymous]

On a moral level, telling her the truth seems like the right thing. Empathetically, you don't want to be the match to fuel of their lives at a vulnerable point. Rationally, you need to mind your own business.

[Anonymous]

Maybe tell her in a few months? You don't want something to happen to her baby...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, if for no other reason than her being able to get checked for STDs. If she has them, her fetus has them.

If OP is worried about STDs, she should start by asking her friend to get checked. If her friend is clean, then he is clean.

Wow! You’re so ignorant, and honestly, you should stop giving advice on this topic. She may have used a condom with this man. His pregnant wife obviously does not.

You aren’t only ignorant, you are also dumb. Condoms don’t offer 100% protection.
Also, if he has an STD as you claimed, he likely got it from her because there are no evidences he cheated with another woman.

[Anonymous]

MYOB
Your friend advised she didn’t want to share.
Let it go

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a large local FB group, and a woman posted looking for an in-home nanny for her 6mo, and eventually for another baby due this October. I clicked her profile out of curiosity and immediately recognized her husband from his profile photo.

Turns out he’s the same guy my friend casually dated for a couple weeks back in March. We even met him once at a small event before he abruptly ghosted her. My friend had absolutely no idea he was married and, at the time, had a 4mo and a pregnant wife.

I showed my friend the FB profile to confirm, and yes, it’s definitely him, real first name and all.

I asked my friend whether we should somehow tell the wife, but she wants no involvement. I don’t know this woman at all and wouldn’t otherwise be connected to her, and my friend isn’t on FB so no connection there. I’m just a random stranger.

Would you message her anonymously or stay out of it? Part of me feels awful for her, especially with a baby and another on the way, but part of me thinks maybe it’s not my place?

Part of you feel awful for her and another part makes you want to destroy her life with your third-hand knowledge? Stay out of it.

She's not the one destroying the marriage, that's the husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a large local FB group, and a woman posted looking for an in-home nanny for her 6mo, and eventually for another baby due this October. I clicked her profile out of curiosity and immediately recognized her husband from his profile photo.

Turns out he’s the same guy my friend casually dated for a couple weeks back in March. We even met him once at a small event before he abruptly ghosted her. My friend had absolutely no idea he was married and, at the time, had a 4mo and a pregnant wife.

I showed my friend the FB profile to confirm, and yes, it’s definitely him, real first name and all.

I asked my friend whether we should somehow tell the wife, but she wants no involvement. I don’t know this woman at all and wouldn’t otherwise be connected to her, and my friend isn’t on FB so no connection there. I’m just a random stranger.

Would you message her anonymously or stay out of it? Part of me feels awful for her, especially with a baby and another on the way, but part of me thinks maybe it’s not my place?

If that friend is truly your friend, you have just one option: Mind Your Own Business.

The mere fact that you're still thinking about telling that woman proves how bad you are as a friend. Your friend has already asked you to keep out of it. She doesn’t want to get involved in that chaos. But you don’t care about what she wants.

You should show respect and loyalty to your friend, not to someone you don’t even know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please tell her! That poor woman! You’d be doing her a huge favor.

She doesn’t know who that woman is. She may not be an “innocent poor woman”. Who knows?
Maybe she is cheating too. Maybe these children aren’t even the husband’s children. There is so much unknown for OP to get involved in this mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. In fact, you have a moral obligation as someone who knows her health and the baby's could be at risk.

No she has a moral obligation to honor her friend's request.
Ignoring her friend’s request would be an unforgivable betrayal.

[Anonymous]

You absolutely must tell her. I cannot stress this enough. You have to. What she does with the info is on her, not you.

[Anonymous]

Are you aware of how some women respond when they discover their husband is cheating? Rather than holding their husbands accountable, they often target the women involved with their husbands. They claim these women are trying to ruin their marriage and take their husbands away. I have seen it happened many times.

OP’s friend understands that this is a common reaction among some women. That’s why she prefers to stay out of it. She’s doing this to protect herself.

As a friend, OP, your main focus should be on looking out for your friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe tell her in a few months? You don't want something to happen to her baby...

I often wonder if my kid's ADHD is the result of the stress I felt when my ex was cheating on me during my pregnancy. I knew he was cheating in so much as I saw his location at his AP's house until midnight the night before I went into labor, and of course there were other times along the way. I was such an emotional wreck and I'm sure my cortisol was off the charts for the last three months of the pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How will you explain that you cyber stalked her for no reason?

There’s nothing wrong with visiting someone’s public social media profile. If you don’t want people to see something, make it private or don’t upload in the first place. This isn’t “cyber stalking”