Would you tell a pregnant stranger her husband was cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a large local FB group, and a woman posted looking for an in-home nanny for her 6mo, and eventually for another baby due this October. I clicked her profile out of curiosity and immediately recognized her husband from his profile photo.

Turns out he’s the same guy my friend casually dated for a couple weeks back in March. We even met him once at a small event before he abruptly ghosted her. My friend had absolutely no idea he was married and, at the time, had a 4mo and a pregnant wife.

I showed my friend the FB profile to confirm, and yes, it’s definitely him, real first name and all.

I asked my friend whether we should somehow tell the wife, but she wants no involvement. I don’t know this woman at all and wouldn’t otherwise be connected to her, and my friend isn’t on FB so no connection there. I’m just a random stranger.

Would you message her anonymously or stay out of it? Part of me feels awful for her, especially with a baby and another on the way, but part of me thinks maybe it’s not my place?

Part of you feel awful for her and another part makes you want to destroy her life with your third-hand knowledge? Stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

Please tell her! That poor woman! You’d be doing her a huge favor.

[Anonymous]

Troll for sure

[Anonymous]

Oh gosh don't get involved if you don't know either of them. They could be polyamorous. It could be a green-card marriage and she gave him a hall pass. Who knows, but in any case, you don't have enough information to go on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh gosh don't get involved if you don't know either of them. They could be polyamorous. It could be a green-card marriage and she gave him a hall pass. Who knows, but in any case, you don't have enough information to go on.

This is the stupidest thing I’ve heard. If any of these far-fetched scenarios are true then telling won’t cause any harm.

[Anonymous]

I would anonymously share the information. She can do with it what she wants.

I had a similar experience where I was online dating and encountered the profile of my colleagues fiancé. They’d been together for years. I looked it up and saw profiles would only appear if the user had been active within the last thirty days.

I created a Gmail account and sent her screenshots etc and a short missive. I experimented to see if the Gmail would get through filters to my work email - it did.

She married the guy anyway.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. In fact, you have a moral obligation as someone who knows her health and the baby's could be at risk.

[Anonymous]

Your friend is the one he cheated with and she doesn't want to have anything to do with this. Never mind telling this information to a stranger, but your friend sounds like she doesn't want you to tell and the woman may want to have her confirm it and then you'd be in a pickle. I'd respect my friend's wishes in this case if it were me.

[Anonymous]

If I actually knew her in person, I would tell her.

Since you don't personally know her, the best I would do is send an anonymous letter with proof enclosed. Or send an anonymous email from a new email address.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh gosh don't get involved if you don't know either of them. They could be polyamorous. It could be a green-card marriage and she gave him a hall pass. Who knows, but in any case, you don't have enough information to go on.

This is the stupidest thing I’ve heard. If any of these far-fetched scenarios are true then telling won’t cause any harm.

lol, you clearly don’t get out much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a large local FB group, and a woman posted looking for an in-home nanny for her 6mo, and eventually for another baby due this October. I clicked her profile out of curiosity and immediately recognized her husband from his profile photo.

Turns out he’s the same guy my friend casually dated for a couple weeks back in March. We even met him once at a small event before he abruptly ghosted her. My friend had absolutely no idea he was married and, at the time, had a 4mo and a pregnant wife.

I showed my friend the FB profile to confirm, and yes, it’s definitely him, real first name and all.

I asked my friend whether we should somehow tell the wife, but she wants no involvement. I don’t know this woman at all and wouldn’t otherwise be connected to her, and my friend isn’t on FB so no connection there. I’m just a random stranger.

Would you message her anonymously or stay out of it? Part of me feels awful for her, especially with a baby and another on the way, but part of me thinks maybe it’s not my place?

Part of you feel awful for her and another part makes you want to destroy her life with your third-hand knowledge? Stay out of it.

This. You could cause a divorce that may never happen otherwise and potentially ruin a kid’s life forever. Stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. In fact, you have a moral obligation as someone who knows her health and the baby's could be at risk.

No, she has a moral obligation to mind her own business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone whose (now ex) H cheated while I was pregnant, I would absolutely want to know.

First of all, STDs are extremely dangerous for babies.

Second, I found out eventually. I would have rather found out earlier, especially before the baby was born so I could have made better arrangements and not been dealing with the cheating postpartum.

Same. Plus, I knew, but I didn't have irrefutable evidence, so I played some mental gymnastics to avoid reality. If I had concrete proof, it would've been easier to recognize gaslighting and get on with my life.

[Anonymous]

Don’t try to destroy a family. MYOB. This person isn’t related to you.

[Anonymous]

She should know so please do her a favor and tell her. Girl code.