Sister asked if I would donate my eggs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a sister. If I did, I think I would do this for her.

I would not think the egg would make her child my child.

I know so many siblings who have kids who look similar. My good friend has sons and her sister has one daughter. When you look at the cousins, they look like siblings.

You would never forget that the child came from your egg. It’s not like lending some eggs so she can bake a cake.

I think OP should feel comfortable saying no. But I’m not sure this is true. My mom had an identical twin and I don’t think of her or her kids as my other mom or siblings.

Agreed. And why does it matter if you “never forget”? You are still not the mom.

From what experience are you speaking from?

Direct experience across all of the facets of this topics. Thx.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, that sucks that she directly asked, OP. (It feels like a violation of a normal sibling relationship). I’m sorry, but no matter how you respond I think the relationship is now going to be awkward at best for at least a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a sister. If I did, I think I would do this for her.

I would not think the egg would make her child my child.

I know so many siblings who have kids who look similar. My good friend has sons and her sister has one daughter. When you look at the cousins, they look like siblings.

You would never forget that the child came from your egg. It’s not like lending some eggs so she can bake a cake.

I think OP should feel comfortable saying no. But I’m not sure this is true. My mom had an identical twin and I don’t think of her or her kids as my other mom or siblings.

Agreed. And why does it matter if you “never forget”? You are still not the mom.

From what experience are you speaking from?

Direct experience across all of the facets of this topics. Thx.

Weird that you would say not the mom then because if it's your egg, you are the mom. Not the only mom, but a mom.

[Anonymous]

Just do it, OP. Don't be selfish. This is your sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, that sucks that she directly asked, OP. (It feels like a violation of a normal sibling relationship). I’m sorry, but no matter how you respond I think the relationship is now going to be awkward at best for at least a while.

How else would you propose asking? Through other family members? Like please, just be normal. My sister had a prior stillbirth and asked me to be a surrogate for her. I told her I knew I couldn't emotionally do it, and she completely accepted the response and never asked again. IT'S FINE. There's nothing wrong with asking. There's something wrong with pressuring and refusing to take no for an answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just do it, OP. Don't be selfish. This is your sister.

No. It's not selfish to not want to risk your own physical and mental health so that your sister can bear your child. WTH. This isn't like refusing to let her borrow your favorite sweater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do it, OP. Don't be selfish. This is your sister.

No. It's not selfish to not want to risk your own physical and mental health so that your sister can bear your child. WTH. This isn't like refusing to let her borrow your favorite sweater.

It wouldn't be OP's child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do it, OP. Don't be selfish. This is your sister.

No. It's not selfish to not want to risk your own physical and mental health so that your sister can bear your child. WTH. This isn't like refusing to let her borrow your favorite sweater.

It wouldn't be OP's child.

Of course it is. You can't change biology.

[Anonymous]

I donated my eggs to my best friend, who is basically like a sister. I have never felt the pull that I'm her biological mother and I've never felt like I was watching from the sidelines. That being said, I know not everyone is like me. I get why people wouldn't feel comfortable and say no. I don't get all the commenters bashing on the sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do it, OP. Don't be selfish. This is your sister.

No. It's not selfish to not want to risk your own physical and mental health so that your sister can bear your child. WTH. This isn't like refusing to let her borrow your favorite sweater.

It wouldn't be OP's child.

Of course it is. You can't change biology.

Eh, I'm adopted and know who my birth parents are. I've never felt a particular draw to them and I've certainly never felt like I was their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t have a sister. If I did, I think I would do this for her.

I would not think the egg would make her child my child.

I know so many siblings who have kids who look similar. My good friend has sons and her sister has one daughter. When you look at the cousins, they look like siblings.

You would never forget that the child came from your egg. It’s not like lending some eggs so she can bake a cake.

I think OP should feel comfortable saying no. But I’m not sure this is true. My mom had an identical twin and I don’t think of her or her kids as my other mom or siblings.

Agreed. And why does it matter if you “never forget”? You are still not the mom.

From what experience are you speaking from?

Direct experience across all of the facets of this topics. Thx.

Weird that you would say not the mom then because if it's your egg, you are the mom. Not the only mom, but a mom.

Not the mom, but of course biologically related. I have never had a dna test from either my mom or my dad to prove our genetic relation, but even if I did there is no human being on earth that I would consider my mom or my dad. Ymmv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do it, OP. Don't be selfish. This is your sister.

No. It's not selfish to not want to risk your own physical and mental health so that your sister can bear your child. WTH. This isn't like refusing to let her borrow your favorite sweater.

It wouldn't be OP's child.

Of course it is. You can't change biology.

Eh, I'm adopted and know who my birth parents are. I've never felt a particular draw to them and I've certainly never felt like I was their child.

The question is more how do your birth parents feel about you? I would sooner agree to be a surrogate than an egg donor. I don't think I would feel that attached to a child I only carried for 9 months but otherwise wasn't related to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do it, OP. Don't be selfish. This is your sister.

No. It's not selfish to not want to risk your own physical and mental health so that your sister can bear your child. WTH. This isn't like refusing to let her borrow your favorite sweater.

It wouldn't be OP's child.

Of course it is. You can't change biology.

Eh, I'm adopted and know who my birth parents are. I've never felt a particular draw to them and I've certainly never felt like I was their child.

The question is more how do your birth parents feel about you? I would sooner agree to be a surrogate than an egg donor. I don't think I would feel that attached to a child I only carried for 9 months but otherwise wasn't related to.

Then you shouldn't be an egg donor. But your experience isn't universal.

[Anonymous]

I would do it for my sisters in a heartbeat as long as DH was cool with it. Just asked DH and he said the same.

But if you and DH aren’t both totally comfortable with it, don’t do it. It’s one of those if it’s not a “hell yes, it’s a no” kind of things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do it, OP. Don't be selfish. This is your sister.

No. It's not selfish to not want to risk your own physical and mental health so that your sister can bear your child. WTH. This isn't like refusing to let her borrow your favorite sweater.

It wouldn't be OP's child.

Of course it is. You can't change biology.

The sister would be the mother. OP would be a genetic relative, but certainly not the mother.