Sister asked if I would donate my eggs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are there therapists who specialize in helping someone figure this out?

Yes. Every fertility clinic will either mandate or strongly suggest counseling prior to receiving or donating gametes. Any fertility clinic should be able to connect you with a therapist specializing in this.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it would bother me on th genetic front. have a lot of nieces and nephews and they all carry my genetic info. The girls have the exact same mitochondrial dna that I do! So I don’t think I’d find it weird that they have my genes — all nieces and nephews do.

But the process of stimulation and egg extraction might be a bigger deal for me. I don’t know about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean “her genetics get infused?” That’s not how it works.

Epigentics are a real thing.

Go look up that word. Now go read a book about surrogacy. There is no "infusion of genetics." FFS

OP, why wouldn't you is another way of thinking about the question. Do you have an extremely different value system than your sister and BIL? There's no question as to who is the mom and who is the aunt. You won't be carrying this baby, but you would be giving your sister genetic material, much of which you share, that she cannot pass on. What would be the downsides for you aside from the process (it's not fun to donate eggs)?

[Anonymous]

I would do this no questions asked. And I would never feel like the mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it would bother me on th genetic front. have a lot of nieces and nephews and they all carry my genetic info. The girls have the exact same mitochondrial dna that I do! So I don’t think I’d find it weird that they have my genes — all nieces and nephews do.

But the process of stimulation and egg extraction might be a bigger deal for me. I don’t know about that.

What about your own kids? If you aren't already a parent then you definitely shouldn't consider it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean “her genetics get infused?” That’s not how it works.

Epigentics are a real thing.

Go look up that word. Now go read a book about surrogacy. There is no "infusion of genetics." FFS

OP, why wouldn't you is another way of thinking about the question. Do you have an extremely different value system than your sister and BIL? There's no question as to who is the mom and who is the aunt. You won't be carrying this baby, but you would be giving your sister genetic material, much of which you share, that she cannot pass on. What would be the downsides for you aside from the process (it's not fun to donate eggs)?

DP. While "infusion of genetics" might not be precisely accurate, PP is likely accurately expressing that the gestational carrier has a meaningful influence on gene expression. That is very real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do this no questions asked. And I would never feel like the mom.

How do you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do this no questions asked. And I would never feel like the mom.

How do you know?

I just know it wouldn’t bother me. Siblings already share DNA and the baby would still be half of the husband’s. The kids would already see me as an aunt, so there already would be a relationship there even if I didn’t donate eggs.

I’ve known quite a few sisters who donated eggs to their gay brothers so that the brother could have a child related to both them and their partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do this no questions asked. And I would never feel like the mom.

How do you know?

I just know it wouldn’t bother me. Siblings already share DNA and the baby would still be half of the husband’s. The kids would already see me as an aunt, so there already would be a relationship there even if I didn’t donate eggs.

I’ve known quite a few sisters who donated eggs to their gay brothers so that the brother could have a child related to both them and their partner.

So you've never had your own kid and can't honestly say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean “her genetics get infused?” That’s not how it works.

Epigentics are a real thing.

It's gene EXPRESSION not carrier genes themselves.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I would never do it. Nope,nope nope and it was selfish of her to ask you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do this no questions asked. And I would never feel like the mom.

I’m glad you are so sure. This is definitely an individual decision

I would not do it because I have no idea how I would feel. And I think that could possibly be unfair to your sister, the child, your kids, etc.

At some point conversations are going to be had. And someone is going to want talk about it sooner and someone is going to want to wait, and then someone’s going to slip up and say something. For me, unless I felt an immediate resounding 100% yes, the answer would be no.

And there’s also a physical
And emotional journey you’re going to go through with just the medication and egg retrieval…. And it still may not work.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell her I'd give the egg and she can carry it and I raise it. The giving birth part is the part I don't really want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do this no questions asked. And I would never feel like the mom.

How do you know?

I just know it wouldn’t bother me. Siblings already share DNA and the baby would still be half of the husband’s. The kids would already see me as an aunt, so there already would be a relationship there even if I didn’t donate eggs.

I’ve known quite a few sisters who donated eggs to their gay brothers so that the brother could have a child related to both them and their partner.

So you've never had your own kid and can't honestly say.

I have 3 kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell her I'd give the egg and she can carry it and I raise it. The giving birth part is the part I don't really want to do.

Opposite. I love pregnancy and childbirth. The toddler and adolescent stage is just meh.