Zero empathy of the man cold

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP. My DH constantly complains of one ailment or another. He actually does a lot around the house and with DC and powers through (he knows I'll be unhappy if he doesn't do his share in general) but the constant sighing about how tired he is and how he has some random symptom gets exhausting and stressful for me. Yes, he has been to a doctor (after literally years of me begging him to), no issues there.

Doctors must love it when wives insist husbands waste their time with this complete BS.

People get jet lagged. People get sick.

I'm not following what you are saying. I was sharing that my husband constantly complains of feeling ill. He doesn't travel for work and doesn't deal with jet lag. He hadn't seen a doctor or had blood work for years, and he finally did that. Do you think it is "BS" to go to the doctor to get standard blood work done and discuss health concerns that you complain about on a daily basis?

You said “I feel you OP” which implies a similar issue. But you’re talking about an entirely different “man cold” unbeknownst to the rest of us.

So you apparently also weren’t following what OP was saying.

NP but the PP's posts have all made perfect sense.

DP. I understood PP’s posts but they had nothing to do with OP’s posts, except maybe they both used the word sick.

It's a similar situation. Who are you, the thread police?

[Anonymous]

We should normalize people resting and not interacting with other people when they are sick. They'll recover faster and won't spread it around as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - the problem is when he travels he has to do day conferences/meetings and then spends the rest of the evening trying to get his actual work done. Of course going out to eat and drinking doesn’t help but he isn’t out boozing all night.

When he is on the west coast he is waking up at east coast hours and going to bed on west coast hours. So getting way less sleep.

He definitely washes his hands enough. He is a germaphobe.

So it’s completely understandable that he is sick, you know he’s not faking, and you’re pretty much just acting like a selfish AH? You need therapy.

Sorry, when you're the parent to multiple children, you don't get to just peace out when you have some sniffles and a headache. Take some meds and do your part. The world would literally fall apart if women coddled themselves the way men do when they're sick. You'd think they had the bubonic plague.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's not washing his hands or using hand sanitizer and touching all kinds of germy crap at the airport and hotels and then eating. He's nasty.

+1 Also, I'm never flying again without masking it's like no one remembers they allowed all the international planes to leave china in march/april 2020.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often does he travel? Every month? Is he taking advantage of his sniffles? Is he still working thru the man cold?

OP - he travels every month or so. At the minimum every quarter. I try and have empathy but its hard because stuff still needs to get done and then I have to do it all. I power through when I have a migraine or any sickness that isn't completely debilitating. Its what parents do when they have young kids who can't function on their own.

Agree. Women with children have to power through in order to keep the family afloat and moving forward.

Too many husbands dump everything on their wives too much and too frequently.

Not me. I'm a woman and a mom and when I'm sick, my husband steps up. We've both covered for the other when sick, when work is stressful, when we're out of town, etc.

OP, he may not understand the burden it's putting on you to do everything while he's gone and then when he's back. Of course, these are work trips, and he's working, but you are also working harder while he's gone. When he gets back it's fair to say I know you don't feel well but I really need you to do X. Or once he's feeling better he steps up more and you get some time off. I don't like bean counting so I have no idea who has been sick more/who has done more, but my husband and I just take turns stepping up as needed. Maybe your husband needs to understand that he has to do the same.

Let's be so for real about his situation vs hers. He's staying in a swank hotel with no kids to wake him up in the middle of the night and all meals prepared for him. She's doing the daily grind at work AND the second shift with no assistance from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We should normalize people resting and not interacting with other people when they are sick. They'll recover faster and won't spread it around as much.

None of the DCUM harpies would ever let a man do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP. My DH constantly complains of one ailment or another. He actually does a lot around the house and with DC and powers through (he knows I'll be unhappy if he doesn't do his share in general) but the constant sighing about how tired he is and how he has some random symptom gets exhausting and stressful for me. Yes, he has been to a doctor (after literally years of me begging him to), no issues there.

My husbands pain threshold is super super low.

He got lasic - it hurt and he demanded to return to the clinic as he was adamant something was very wrong. They talked him down over the phone. All was fine an hour later

He got his cavity-riddled wisdom teeth out at age 30, he called the oral surgeon daily about what to do for two weeks straight. Same advice- big sockets need to scab up.

Sadly when other people are hurting- our child broke her leg, he does nothing. She couldn’t walk after a bad fall at the trampoline park, he did nothing. I only got the truth the next day and zipped her to children’s national ER myself.

This is totally a thing with men. My husband had Covid and insisted he should go to the ER. I asked him if he was having trouble breathing, was vomiting or had a fever over 103. No, no, and no. He just didn't feel good. I asked what he thought they would tell him besides rest and drink fluids. He didn't know, he just knew that he was uncomfortable, and thought he shouldn't have to put up with it for a minute. Meanwhile he refused to take ibuprofen or acetaminophen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my goodness OP I thought I had written this. I get you 100 percent- my husband is also a lawyer and does the same thing about going to meetings all day and then working late. It sounds absolutely miserable to me and he hates it too and has pushed back and is traveling less now he’s slightly more established. I don’t have a ton of answers because I basically pressure my husband 24/7 to try and find a different job. Different firm or go in house or something! He’s miserable a lot of the time and asks a lot of the rest of us. The money is not even as much as you might think and is not worth it. I basically just want to validate that if he’s making these choices and you do not agree the trade offs are worth it you are entitled to that opinion. Many people would rather have a spouse who is a real partner than more money.

OP here - you make me feel seen. We have been at this a long time (DH is a young/new partner) and he wants to try and see if he will "make it" before he taps out. He makes good money (between $575-$775K depending on his bonuses) but it sure is A LOT of work for that money. There is no downtime or rest. Is it worth it? I don't know. He/we don't really have generational money to fall back on. We have 3 young kids and want to try and provide them with a cushion in life.

Um, for that amount of money your company basically owns you. You should be hiring a lot more support on that income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often does he travel? Every month? Is he taking advantage of his sniffles? Is he still working thru the man cold?

OP - he travels every month or so. At the minimum every quarter. I try and have empathy but its hard because stuff still needs to get done and then I have to do it all. I power through when I have a migraine or any sickness that isn't completely debilitating. Its what parents do when they have young kids who can't function on their own.

Yeah, if he travels every month you need to quit your job

This is terrible advice. Stop telling women to quit their jobs.

I don't think OP has a job though.

You would know she does if you had bothered to read this thread instead of just jumping in with misogynist twaddle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP. My DH constantly complains of one ailment or another. He actually does a lot around the house and with DC and powers through (he knows I'll be unhappy if he doesn't do his share in general) but the constant sighing about how tired he is and how he has some random symptom gets exhausting and stressful for me. Yes, he has been to a doctor (after literally years of me begging him to), no issues there.

My husbands pain threshold is super super low.

He got lasic - it hurt and he demanded to return to the clinic as he was adamant something was very wrong. They talked him down over the phone. All was fine an hour later

He got his cavity-riddled wisdom teeth out at age 30, he called the oral surgeon daily about what to do for two weeks straight. Same advice- big sockets need to scab up.

Sadly when other people are hurting- our child broke her leg, he does nothing. She couldn’t walk after a bad fall at the trampoline park, he did nothing. I only got the truth the next day and zipped her to children’s national ER myself.

This is totally a thing with men. My husband had Covid and insisted he should go to the ER. I asked him if he was having trouble breathing, was vomiting or had a fever over 103. No, no, and no. He just didn't feel good. I asked what he thought they would tell him besides rest and drink fluids. He didn't know, he just knew that he was uncomfortable, and thought he shouldn't have to put up with it for a minute. Meanwhile he refused to take ibuprofen or acetaminophen.

I think this is what gets me the most. Men (generalizing here) cannot halfway handle pain or discomfort like women. I know this is a sweeping generalization and there are plenty of me who can handle pain but if the human race had to rely on men going through pregnancy or birth we would have died out generations ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - the problem is when he travels he has to do day conferences/meetings and then spends the rest of the evening trying to get his actual work done. Of course going out to eat and drinking doesn’t help but he isn’t out boozing all night.

When he is on the west coast he is waking up at east coast hours and going to bed on west coast hours. So getting way less sleep.

He definitely washes his hands enough. He is a germaphobe.

So it’s completely understandable that he is sick, you know he’s not faking, and you’re pretty much just acting like a selfish AH? You need therapy.

Sorry, when you're the parent to multiple children, you don't get to just peace out when you have some sniffles and a headache. Take some meds and do your part. The world would literally fall apart if women coddled themselves the way men do when they're sick. You'd think they had the bubonic plague.

OP said he has the flu. There’s not that much that needs to be done for their school aged kids. She’s just a bish who clearly hates his guts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my goodness OP I thought I had written this. I get you 100 percent- my husband is also a lawyer and does the same thing about going to meetings all day and then working late. It sounds absolutely miserable to me and he hates it too and has pushed back and is traveling less now he’s slightly more established. I don’t have a ton of answers because I basically pressure my husband 24/7 to try and find a different job. Different firm or go in house or something! He’s miserable a lot of the time and asks a lot of the rest of us. The money is not even as much as you might think and is not worth it. I basically just want to validate that if he’s making these choices and you do not agree the trade offs are worth it you are entitled to that opinion. Many people would rather have a spouse who is a real partner than more money.

OP here - you make me feel seen. We have been at this a long time (DH is a young/new partner) and he wants to try and see if he will "make it" before he taps out. He makes good money (between $575-$775K depending on his bonuses) but it sure is A LOT of work for that money. There is no downtime or rest. Is it worth it? I don't know. He/we don't really have generational money to fall back on. We have 3 young kids and want to try and provide them with a cushion in life.

OMG poor little baby has to feed her kids dinner and do the laundry and walk the dog while her husband is off earning half a million a year.

What a tragic life.

[Anonymous]

Being around DHs with man colds is the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP. My DH constantly complains of one ailment or another. He actually does a lot around the house and with DC and powers through (he knows I'll be unhappy if he doesn't do his share in general) but the constant sighing about how tired he is and how he has some random symptom gets exhausting and stressful for me. Yes, he has been to a doctor (after literally years of me begging him to), no issues there.

Doctors must love it when wives insist husbands waste their time with this complete BS.

People get jet lagged. People get sick.

I'm not following what you are saying. I was sharing that my husband constantly complains of feeling ill. He doesn't travel for work and doesn't deal with jet lag. He hadn't seen a doctor or had blood work for years, and he finally did that. Do you think it is "BS" to go to the doctor to get standard blood work done and discuss health concerns that you complain about on a daily basis?

You said “I feel you OP” which implies a similar issue. But you’re talking about an entirely different “man cold” unbeknownst to the rest of us.

So you apparently also weren’t following what OP was saying.

NP but the PP's posts have all made perfect sense.

DP. I understood PP’s posts but they had nothing to do with OP’s posts, except maybe they both used the word sick.

It's a similar situation. Who are you, the thread police?

Did I say she should stop posting? No. Sounds like you are the one policing here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my goodness OP I thought I had written this. I get you 100 percent- my husband is also a lawyer and does the same thing about going to meetings all day and then working late. It sounds absolutely miserable to me and he hates it too and has pushed back and is traveling less now he’s slightly more established. I don’t have a ton of answers because I basically pressure my husband 24/7 to try and find a different job. Different firm or go in house or something! He’s miserable a lot of the time and asks a lot of the rest of us. The money is not even as much as you might think and is not worth it. I basically just want to validate that if he’s making these choices and you do not agree the trade offs are worth it you are entitled to that opinion. Many people would rather have a spouse who is a real partner than more money.

OP here - you make me feel seen. We have been at this a long time (DH is a young/new partner) and he wants to try and see if he will "make it" before he taps out. He makes good money (between $575-$775K depending on his bonuses) but it sure is A LOT of work for that money. There is no downtime or rest. Is it worth it? I don't know. He/we don't really have generational money to fall back on. We have 3 young kids and want to try and provide them with a cushion in life.

OMG poor little baby has to feed her kids dinner and do the laundry and walk the dog while her husband is off earning half a million a year.

What a tragic life.

She works too, you illiterate.