Zero empathy of the man cold

[Anonymous]

DH gets sick after he travels for work - seems to be pretty consistent. He flies out somewhere, works and stays up too late (especially when changing time zones) and then comes home and is sick.

Sometimes it’s just a minor cold and he can power through. This time though I think it’s the flu. I feel bad he is sick but I am also burned out from him being gone and now zero help at home while I hold down everything with the kids and home. He went to bed last night at 7pm and is still asleep.

I have only been sick one time in the 12 years of parenting enough to actually sleep and not take care of the kids.

[Anonymous]

He's not washing his hands or using hand sanitizer and touching all kinds of germy crap at the airport and hotels and then eating. He's nasty.

[Anonymous]

Buy him vitamin c to boost immunity, melatonin for sleep, hand sanitizer for hygiene and ask him to hydrate well. If he is up to it, he can wear face mask to lessen germ exposure and eye mask to sleep better. May be some app with sleep stories or calming sounds to help sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's not washing his hands or using hand sanitizer and touching all kinds of germy crap at the airport and hotels and then eating. He's nasty.

It’s the drinking and bar scene. Lowers immunity and it’s a cess pool.

Does he get sick whenever you travel as a family? I’m guessing not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH gets sick after he travels for work - seems to be pretty consistent. He flies out somewhere, works and stays up too late (especially when changing time zones) and then comes home and is sick.

Sometimes it’s just a minor cold and he can power through. This time though I think it’s the flu. I feel bad he is sick but I am also burned out from him being gone and now zero help at home while I hold down everything with the kids and home. He went to bed last night at 7pm and is still asleep.

I have only been sick one time in the 12 years of parenting enough to actually sleep and not take care of the kids.

Does he travel a lot? Can you SAH or go PT, that’s kind of a necessity if he is traveling across that many time zones he is getting sick.

[Anonymous]

You need to hire more help, do less, or some combo. When you have lost the ability to feel empathy for your life partner when he has the flu, you’ve lost a bit of humanity.

[Anonymous]

Op - the problem is when he travels he has to do day conferences/meetings and then spends the rest of the evening trying to get his actual work done. Of course going out to eat and drinking doesn’t help but he isn’t out boozing all night.

When he is on the west coast he is waking up at east coast hours and going to bed on west coast hours. So getting way less sleep.

He definitely washes his hands enough. He is a germaphobe.

[Anonymous]

How often does he travel? Every month? Is he taking advantage of his sniffles? Is he still working thru the man cold?

[Anonymous]

He has flu and not helping out? After another work travel to support his family? Divorce him. He’s useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How often does he travel? Every month? Is he taking advantage of his sniffles? Is he still working thru the man cold?

OP - he travels every month or so. At the minimum every quarter. I try and have empathy but its hard because stuff still needs to get done and then I have to do it all. I power through when I have a migraine or any sickness that isn't completely debilitating. Its what parents do when they have young kids who can't function on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - the problem is when he travels he has to do day conferences/meetings and then spends the rest of the evening trying to get his actual work done. Of course going out to eat and drinking doesn’t help but he isn’t out boozing all night.

When he is on the west coast he is waking up at east coast hours and going to bed on west coast hours. So getting way less sleep.

He definitely washes his hands enough. He is a germaphobe.

He’s doing way more than he says, because I always found work travel more relaxing and fun than the working parent shuffle. He has no errands, no chores, no kid pickups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often does he travel? Every month? Is he taking advantage of his sniffles? Is he still working thru the man cold?

OP - he travels every month or so. At the minimum every quarter. I try and have empathy but its hard because stuff still needs to get done and then I have to do it all. I power through when I have a migraine or any sickness that isn't completely debilitating. Its what parents do when they have young kids who can't function on their own.

Yeah, if he travels every month you need to quit your job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH gets sick after he travels for work - seems to be pretty consistent. He flies out somewhere, works and stays up too late (especially when changing time zones) and then comes home and is sick.

Sometimes it’s just a minor cold and he can power through. This time though I think it’s the flu. I feel bad he is sick but I am also burned out from him being gone and now zero help at home while I hold down everything with the kids and home. He went to bed last night at 7pm and is still asleep.

I have only been sick one time in the 12 years of parenting enough to actually sleep and not take care of the kids.

Have him go to his GP and talk about it plus an allergist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often does he travel? Every month? Is he taking advantage of his sniffles? Is he still working thru the man cold?

OP - he travels every month or so. At the minimum every quarter. I try and have empathy but its hard because stuff still needs to get done and then I have to do it all. I power through when I have a migraine or any sickness that isn't completely debilitating. Its what parents do when they have young kids who can't function on their own.

Yeah, if he travels every month you need to quit your job

Lots of people fly and travel for their jobs, esp in Wash DC. We’re not all leaving healthy and returning sickly to the point of staying home or doing nothing for tack on days off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How often does he travel? Every month? Is he taking advantage of his sniffles? Is he still working thru the man cold?

OP - he travels every month or so. At the minimum every quarter. I try and have empathy but its hard because stuff still needs to get done and then I have to do it all. I power through when I have a migraine or any sickness that isn't completely debilitating. Its what parents do when they have young kids who can't function on their own.

Agree. Women with children have to power through in order to keep the family afloat and moving forward.

Too many husbands dump everything on their wives too much and too frequently.