Would you escalate, or consider it a lesson learned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did she steal?

😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call the store manager, explain what happened and let them know they have lost you as customers by having overly aggressive security stop young people who were innocently shopping. Then I would put it on social media.

We have lost many of our rights and safety in our current environment. We do not have to stand for it. It is traumatic to be stopped by armed men, period. Especially when doing nothing wrong. It is sad that so many people say its not a big deal.

They don’t care if they lose a shoplifting teen as a customer and the security person is not armed, dummy. It’s loss prevention. They knew she was trying to shoplift and successfully deterred her.

Sounds like Sephora or Ulta. I'm sure they won't miss the hordes of thieving girls after school who need to rummage in their backpacks.

😂😂 it’s completely normal for the demographic most responsible for shoplifting to suddenly absolutely NEED to unzip and play around in her backpack in a store full of small palm-able merchandise! Her mom’s gonna call the manager and make them sorry for catching that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't tell me you actually think this was some rando following around your daughter and her friends.

+1
and I am personally the paranoid type but OP's outlook on this is making me look like quite normal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call the store manager, explain what happened and let them know they have lost you as customers by having overly aggressive security stop young people who were innocently shopping. Then I would put it on social media.

We have lost many of our rights and safety in our current environment. We do not have to stand for it. It is traumatic to be stopped by armed men, period. Especially when doing nothing wrong. It is sad that so many people say its not a big deal.

They don’t care if they lose a shoplifting teen as a customer and the security person is not armed, dummy. It’s loss prevention. They knew she was trying to shoplift and successfully deterred her.

We all know that OP's daughter was about to shoplift. We have been that age and just know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would call the store manager, explain what happened and let them know they have lost you as customers by having overly aggressive security stop young people who were innocently shopping. Then I would put it on social media.

We have lost many of our rights and safety in our current environment. We do not have to stand for it. It is traumatic to be stopped by armed men, period. Especially when doing nothing wrong. It is sad that so many people say its not a big deal.

Um, there is no mention of anyone being armed. It wasn't even LEO of any kind. OP seems to think it is a problem that they DIDN'T involve an armed officer. Which is bizarre.

And are people suggesting that stores (regular employees) should not ask questions when it looks like somebody might be shoplifting?

[Anonymous]

Your child dealt with it just fine, there's no need for you to jump in with your giant helicopter. By doing nothing, you show your child you trust her. If you jump in now, you show her that she didn't do the right thing and that mommy needs to be involved with everything. LET IT GO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call the store manager, explain what happened and let them know they have lost you as customers by having overly aggressive security stop young people who were innocently shopping. Then I would put it on social media.

We have lost many of our rights and safety in our current environment. We do not have to stand for it. It is traumatic to be stopped by armed men, period. Especially when doing nothing wrong. It is sad that so many people say its not a big deal.

Um, there is no mention of anyone being armed. It wasn't even LEO of any kind. OP seems to think it is a problem that they DIDN'T involve an armed officer. Which is bizarre.

And are people suggesting that stores (regular employees) should not ask questions when it looks like somebody might be shoplifting?

I teach high school and it’s crazy how in the last few years, kids and parents are SO affronted by the idea an adult or authority figure might correct inappropriate behavior. Kid will get in trouble for something they OBVIOUSLY should not do and be like “yo chill why are you being disrespectful” and then their parent gets mad at US because how dare we say the kid can’t be in the hall cursing at the top of their lungs at school. Op immediately wanting to yell at a manager for this is completely in line with this new crop
of parents and how they never want any consequence for their kids, ever.

[Anonymous]

She handled it well. Good for her for not letting them look in her bag and being willing to deal with security/the police because she knew she was in the right.

You don’t need to do more. It’s normal for stores to want to stop thefts. It’s normal for stores to have security people not in uniforms (otherwise thieves will see them coming, right?). Fiddling around with your bag will draw the notice of store security. Now your daughter knows this fact and may tailor her behavior accordingly in future.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t escalate. I think she did the right thing by not letting security look in her bag. Imagine if she was at, I don’t know, Sephora, and she happened to have her own lip gloss or eyeshadow in her bag that Sephora also sells. What a nightmare that could potentially be.

I would tell her to avoid that store in the future, especially when she’s with her friends. Yes, a lot of teens do shoplift but certainly not most teens! The stores do profile teens for shoplifting because they are easy targets and inexperienced and tend to make mistakes. I wonder if this was something like a very local mom and pop type store, because usually what happens at chain stores is loss prevention tracks the shoplifters on camera from the security office and then stops them on their way out the door. Vs. starting a confrontation in the middle of the store.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child dealt with it just fine, there's no need for you to jump in with your giant helicopter. By doing nothing, you show your child you trust her. If you jump in now, you show her that she didn't do the right thing and that mommy needs to be involved with everything. LET IT GO.

She handled it well. She did not "disrespect an officer" she told a store worker to go get security if they wanted her bag opened.

Mommy needs to let go.

[Anonymous]

Your child needs something to do after school besides shopping in a group of rowdy teens with backpacks unsupervised. Be a parent.

[Anonymous]

I would not return to that store.

I was once pushed to the ground at Niemen Marcus at Mazza by a security guard. He was going after another guy who had stolen a watch and he took me down in the process. I was injured. I was so pissed. And the guy had not even left the store yet, so he had not stolen it!

[Anonymous]

You need to calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call the store manager, explain what happened and let them know they have lost you as customers by having overly aggressive security stop young people who were innocently shopping. Then I would put it on social media.

We have lost many of our rights and safety in our current environment. We do not have to stand for it. It is traumatic to be stopped by armed men, period. Especially when doing nothing wrong. It is sad that so many people say its not a big deal.

Um, there is no mention of anyone being armed. It wasn't even LEO of any kind. OP seems to think it is a problem that they DIDN'T involve an armed officer. Which is bizarre.

And are people suggesting that stores (regular employees) should not ask questions when it looks like somebody might be shoplifting?

I teach high school and it’s crazy how in the last few years, kids and parents are SO affronted by the idea an adult or authority figure might correct inappropriate behavior. Kid will get in trouble for something they OBVIOUSLY should not do and be like “yo chill why are you being disrespectful” and then their parent gets mad at US because how dare we say the kid can’t be in the hall cursing at the top of their lungs at school. Op immediately wanting to yell at a manager for this is completely in line with this new crop
of parents and how they never want any consequence for their kids, ever.

There wasn't inappropriate behavior. Existing as teenager in public with a bag isn't something that should result in consequences.

[Anonymous]

Stores are private property. I would have just let them quickly look in the backpack. No reason to make something out of nothing. And tell her that the backpack needs to stay on her back in a store going forward.