Why do people change their mind and want to remarry again?

[Anonymous]

OP it’s fine to want what you want. But you seem super mad that she’s not totally cool with your world view. She gets a preference on this issue too. The biggest red flag to me is how irritable you sound about not only wanting your own way, but wanting her to agree with you. She may not, and if you actually care about her, you need to be clear with her so that she can use that information to make her own decision, which may be to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be the difference in your relationship if you got married? (Finances aside). Do you live together? Do you spend most of your time together? Are you each other's "other person"?

I guess I've never fully understood why someone is so against marriage unless it's that level of commitment they are against. In which case, that's the issue here. She wants to be more committed/serious than you.

I do not want to be married again because my ex wife made the experience distaetasful. I am not against marriage I am just against marriage for ME. We don't live together. She suggested that at some point but I wasn't enthusiastic about it. I will say we are each other's person. I have a great relationship with her son, my kids like her. Every time we can get together, we do get together. In fact I have her as my emergency contact, primary contact etc.

I simply don't want to get remarried. Why is that not a realistic position? I am still committed to her.

She has more to lose by remarriage than you since she only has 1 kid, already in college, where you have 2 younger kids and all the obligations they entail and 5 more years before you’re an empty nester. I would expect you to want remarriage and her to be a firm no.

Two years later, it seems like she is over her divorce and has fully moved on but he has not. OP cannot be her person while his ex lives in his head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a late 40s woman. I will never remarry. Hard no. I don’t think it’s common at all for people to change their minds.

But do you date? Have you found someone “prefect in every way?”

Once you do find someone perfect and date for a couple years, then what?

They ask what you are thinking after a couple amazing years?
You tell them marriage is not for you. But this and that. You have your guards up.
Then they reciprocate that.
The closeness disappears.
You break up.

[Anonymous]

Good job, OP. Men, never get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s looking for a gesture of commitment beyond dating - whether it is legal marriage, moving in together, or buying a home together, or maybe even a non-legally binding commitment ceremony. Something that indicates that you won’t just walk out the door because the fight you both had one day was big. It doesn’t seem like you are ready to commit to her long term.

Gosh women can be so desperate and pathetic. I feel so sorry for OP’s girlfriend. If you don’t see being with me as a privilege, goodbye. 👋

Lovely person you are.

Lovely or not, you’re never going to find me begging for scraps from some man who needs therapy and can’t get over his divorce.

[Anonymous]

Any man who wants me to sign on to be his nurse but refuses to marry me because I might take his money can f*** right off.

[Anonymous]

Well if I remarry my lifetime alimony goes away. Why would I ever remarry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well if I remarry my lifetime alimony goes away. Why would I ever remarry?

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good job, OP. Men, never get married.

What has he done other than get irritated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a late 40s woman. I will never remarry. Hard no. I don’t think it’s common at all for people to change their minds.

But do you date? Have you found someone “prefect in every way?”

Once you do find someone perfect and date for a couple years, then what?

They ask what you are thinking after a couple amazing years?
You tell them marriage is not for you. But this and that. You have your guards up.
Then they reciprocate that.
The closeness disappears.
You break up.

+1. This in a nutshell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well if I remarry my lifetime alimony goes away. Why would I ever remarry?

Troll

Nope. I was married 24 years to a doctor and I was a stay at home mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend is OP's age and divorced. He told me that aot of women a lot of women that he has met since his divorce have said that they are not opposed to being married again

One one hand divorced women claim to be free and enjoy their new found freedom. But at the same time, they appear to eager to remarry again.

Are women afraid to be single and alone in old age? They are all telling us in this forum that men are the ones who need them more. Which is it?

Saying you are not opposed to being married again and being eager to do so are not the same. Most older women I know have no interest in remarrying should their husbands pass because they aren't willing to be a nurse and have their own means of support. However, if someone amazing ("perfect") came along, they wouldn't say never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well if I remarry my lifetime alimony goes away. Why would I ever remarry?

Troll

It’s probably true, my husbands ex got a form of life long. But, she was able to marry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be the difference in your relationship if you got married? (Finances aside). Do you live together? Do you spend most of your time together? Are you each other's "other person"?

I guess I've never fully understood why someone is so against marriage unless it's that level of commitment they are against. In which case, that's the issue here. She wants to be more committed/serious than you.

I know I don't ever want to be taken advantage of again. If I want to get out I want to be able to just walk out a door. I dont want my money or health in jeopardy.

What a loser you are. People who love their partners (whether unmarried or married) accept that there will be times when their own health and money will be in jeopardy, while they tend for their loved one. This is what being in a relationship MEANS. The rest is just FWB.

I really hope that one day when you're in need, there's no one to care for you.

Not PP. The data is clear. Marriage is less and less common. Are you saying this new generation of never married people are going to be in jeopardy when their health/finances suffer?

In fact the economy is slowly adapting to 1 person households.

how so? do tell!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be the difference in your relationship if you got married? (Finances aside). Do you live together? Do you spend most of your time together? Are you each other's "other person"?

I guess I've never fully understood why someone is so against marriage unless it's that level of commitment they are against. In which case, that's the issue here. She wants to be more committed/serious than you.

I know I don't ever want to be taken advantage of again. If I want to get out I want to be able to just walk out a door. I dont want my money or health in jeopardy.

What a loser you are. People who love their partners (whether unmarried or married) accept that there will be times when their own health and money will be in jeopardy, while they tend for their loved one. This is what being in a relationship MEANS. The rest is just FWB.

I really hope that one day when you're in need, there's no one to care for you.

Not PP. The data is clear. Marriage is less and less common. Are you saying this new generation of never married people are going to be in jeopardy when their health/finances suffer?

In fact the economy is slowly adapting to 1 person households.

how so? do tell!

Yeah exactly since it takes three or more adults to buy a house here!