dating and broke

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 44F and financially broke with significant payments towards my bills every month. How important is my financial security for dating and being in an LTR with someone who is financial secure? For the context, I am overweight with BMI of 33-34 but look good when I dress up and put make up on. I know I can date and it is easier to do but sometimes dating also needs money if you have to buy dinners now and then.

You better very good in bed and an excellent cook! I'm talking legendary head game and Julia Childs like culinary skills.

I doubt OP is good in either of them otherwise she wouldn't be in this situation. I haven't seen a man leaving a woman who is good in bed and cooks well.

Hmm…I’m overweight and kind of crazy. Maybe this is why my husband sticks around

[Anonymous]

This would be very very hard for OP to find a decent men with all her issues. She should just focus on work, health and getting out of debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 44F and financially broke with significant payments towards my bills every month. How important is my financial security for dating and being in an LTR with someone who is financial secure? For the context, I am overweight with BMI of 33-34 but look good when I dress up and put make up on. I know I can date and it is easier to do but sometimes dating also needs money if you have to buy dinners now and then.

You better very good in bed and an excellent cook! I'm talking legendary head game and Julia Childs like culinary skills.

I doubt OP is good in either of them otherwise she wouldn't be in this situation. I haven't seen a man leaving a woman who is good in bed and cooks well.

Hmm…I’m overweight and kind of crazy. Maybe this is why my husband sticks around

how good you are in bed? and do you cook and clean if you are also broke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don't at the starting when it is all about sex but if it has to do more with LTR, living in etc then they definitely do. Noone wants to date a person that can't even pay for their own meal now and then.

[Anonymous]

The problem is that both issues are related to a lack of discipline. I wouldn't want a partner like that. What do you bring to the table, OP? As the comments make clear, relationships are fundamentally transactional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don't at the starting when it is all about sex but if it has to do more with LTR, living in etc then they definitely do. Noone wants to date a person that can't even pay for their own meal now and then.

Completely FALSE.... This poster must be a woman.

I dated my wife, she was 25 at the time, when she still lived at home, worked as a yoga instructor, and was still paying off her student loan debt. I was 28 years old at the time and had just come off a Fintech job with fully vested RSUs worth about $8M. I didn’t care that she was broke, because she was—and still is—gorgeous. Even if she had made $250K, it wouldn’t have changed my view of her in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don't at the starting when it is all about sex but if it has to do more with LTR, living in etc then they definitely do. Noone wants to date a person that can't even pay for their own meal now and then.

Completely FALSE.... This poster must be a woman.

I dated my wife, she was 25 at the time, when she still lived at home, worked as a yoga instructor, and was still paying off her student loan debt. I was 28 years old at the time and had just come off a Fintech job with fully vested RSUs worth about $8M. I didn’t care that she was broke, because she was—and still is—gorgeous. Even if she had made $250K, it wouldn’t have changed my view of her in any way.

So you're one of the few men who enjoys having a woman completely dependent on you, as long as she's hot that is. See, transactional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don't at the starting when it is all about sex but if it has to do more with LTR, living in etc then they definitely do. Noone wants to date a person that can't even pay for their own meal now and then.

Completely FALSE.... This poster must be a woman.

I dated my wife, she was 25 at the time, when she still lived at home, worked as a yoga instructor, and was still paying off her student loan debt. I was 28 years old at the time and had just come off a Fintech job with fully vested RSUs worth about $8M. I didn’t care that she was broke, because she was—and still is—gorgeous. Even if she had made $250K, it wouldn’t have changed my view of her in any way.

Really? If she wasn’t available when you wanted to see her and she had to go out of town for work and she wanted to split household and childcare responsibilities, you would have been okay with that?

Face it. You were looking for a woman who prioritized her looks and had nothing going on in her life that was more interesting than being your girlfriend/wife.

[Anonymous]

As a divorced woman in her 40s who makes 7 figures I think you may have a bigger dating pool broke than you do wealthier than most single men. I find most men are too insecure to date someone significantly wealthier than them, and my tastes for nice restaurants and fancy vacations don't work for almost any of the men I meet. Sometimes I think it would be easier dating being broke, or much lower income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don't at the starting when it is all about sex but if it has to do more with LTR, living in etc then they definitely do. Noone wants to date a person that can't even pay for their own meal now and then.

Completely FALSE.... This poster must be a woman.

I dated my wife, she was 25 at the time, when she still lived at home, worked as a yoga instructor, and was still paying off her student loan debt. I was 28 years old at the time and had just come off a Fintech job with fully vested RSUs worth about $8M. I didn’t care that she was broke, because she was—and still is—gorgeous. Even if she had made $250K, it wouldn’t have changed my view of her in any way.

I highly doubt you had $8M of fully vested RSUs at 28. And if you did, I highly doubt the company didn’t tank, as most startups do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don't at the starting when it is all about sex but if it has to do more with LTR, living in etc then they definitely do. Noone wants to date a person that can't even pay for their own meal now and then.

Completely FALSE.... This poster must be a woman.

I dated my wife, she was 25 at the time, when she still lived at home, worked as a yoga instructor, and was still paying off her student loan debt. I was 28 years old at the time and had just come off a Fintech job with fully vested RSUs worth about $8M. I didn’t care that she was broke, because she was—and still is—gorgeous. Even if she had made $250K, it wouldn’t have changed my view of her in any way.

So you're one of the few men who enjoys having a woman completely dependent on you, as long as she's hot that is. See, transactional.

Yes, and what he described is not OPs situation because his hot wife was bringing a lot to the table. He's still stupid for marrying a yoga instructor because the way she lived shows she wouldn’t be able to raise successful and functional kids.
If you want a looser son and a hot stupid daughter who spends whole day talking garbage and doing makeup - do what he did.
I actually saw that dating in my 40s - highly successful divorced men with exes who never worked and were coaches, cosmetologists, therapists, models, writers etc. They all had kids who couldn’t finish a college or went to low ranked liberal arts schools and worked as ski instructors, DJs, still lived with dad’s into late 20s sucking money etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don’t care much about money but the woman must be attractive and put out. Someone with such a high BMI isn’t going to cut it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a divorced woman in her 40s who makes 7 figures I think you may have a bigger dating pool broke than you do wealthier than most single men. I find most men are too insecure to date someone significantly wealthier than them, and my tastes for nice restaurants and fancy vacations don't work for almost any of the men I meet. Sometimes I think it would be easier dating being broke, or much lower income.

That’s another extreme as you are what, 0.001 %?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don’t care much about money but the woman must be attractive and put out. Someone with such a high BMI isn’t going to cut it.

Yes, but even then most men would just use that stupid attractive woman for sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don’t care much about money but the woman must be attractive and put out. Someone with such a high BMI isn’t going to cut it.

Yes, that's what it comes down to. Men would rather not date a beyotch but they'll even put up with that if she's hot. They want a wife other men covet, even if it's for purely superficial reasons.