dating and broke

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don't at the starting when it is all about sex but if it has to do more with LTR, living in etc then they definitely do. Noone wants to date a person that can't even pay for their own meal now and then.

Completely FALSE.... This poster must be a woman.

I dated my wife, she was 25 at the time, when she still lived at home, worked as a yoga instructor, and was still paying off her student loan debt. I was 28 years old at the time and had just come off a Fintech job with fully vested RSUs worth about $8M. I didn’t care that she was broke, because she was—and still is—gorgeous. Even if she had made $250K, it wouldn’t have changed my view of her in any way.

The evidence says otherwise. Most men marry within their economic class. If men didn't care about women's education/income you would see many more upper class men marrying poorly educated broke women. How often do you see your investment banking buddies marrying high school drop outs or women who work as cleaning ladies?

Endogamy is real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a divorced woman in her 40s who makes 7 figures I think you may have a bigger dating pool broke than you do wealthier than most single men. I find most men are too insecure to date someone significantly wealthier than them, and my tastes for nice restaurants and fancy vacations don't work for almost any of the men I meet. Sometimes I think it would be easier dating being broke, or much lower income.

That’s another extreme as you are what, 0.001 %?

If you're not super attractive and make them feel good, they really don't care how much money you make. It has nothing to do with different taste in restaurants and vacations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a divorced woman in her 40s who makes 7 figures I think you may have a bigger dating pool broke than you do wealthier than most single men. I find most men are too insecure to date someone significantly wealthier than them, and my tastes for nice restaurants and fancy vacations don't work for almost any of the men I meet. Sometimes I think it would be easier dating being broke, or much lower income.

That’s another extreme as you are what, 0.001 %?

If you're not super attractive and make them feel good, they really don't care how much money you make. It has nothing to do with different taste in restaurants and vacations.

A woman making 7 figures would make a lot of men feeling insecure. Just by her tastes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I highly doubt you had $8M of fully vested RSUs at 28. And if you did, I highly doubt the company didn’t tank, as most startups do.

It does happen, but not very often. When the startup is acquired by another company, the RSU became fully vested for employees of the startup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 44F and financially broke with significant payments towards my bills every month. How important is my financial security for dating and being in an LTR with someone who is financial secure? For the context, I am overweight with BMI of 33-34 but look good when I dress up and put make up on. I know I can date and it is easier to do but sometimes dating also needs money if you have to buy dinners now and then.

You better very good in bed and an excellent cook! I'm talking legendary head game and Julia Childs like culinary skills.

No she don’t. Men that age and a little older would be happy with any woman that can so much as lift one leg up ever now and then

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 44F and financially broke with significant payments towards my bills every month. How important is my financial security for dating and being in an LTR with someone who is financial secure? For the context, I am overweight with BMI of 33-34 but look good when I dress up and put make up on. I know I can date and it is easier to do but sometimes dating also needs money if you have to buy dinners now and then.

You better very good in bed and an excellent cook! I'm talking legendary head game and Julia Childs like culinary skills.

I doubt OP is good in either of them otherwise she wouldn't be in this situation. I haven't seen a man leaving a woman who is good in bed and cooks well.

Hmm…I’m overweight and kind of crazy. Maybe this is why my husband sticks around

how good you are in bed? and do you cook and clean if you are also broke?

I’m overweight and kind of crazy, but I’m great in bed and a very good cook. Maybe that’s why my husband stays with me . That and the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 44F and financially broke with significant payments towards my bills every month. How important is my financial security for dating and being in an LTR with someone who is financial secure? For the context, I am overweight with BMI of 33-34 but look good when I dress up and put make up on. I know I can date and it is easier to do but sometimes dating also needs money if you have to buy dinners now and then.

To answer your question- it’s extremely important. You don’t take care of yourself or your finances. To me, that shouts irresponsible and who wants to be in a relationship with an irresponsible person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 44F and financially broke with significant payments towards my bills every month. How important is my financial security for dating and being in an LTR with someone who is financial secure? For the context, I am overweight with BMI of 33-34 but look good when I dress up and put make up on. I know I can date and it is easier to do but sometimes dating also needs money if you have to buy dinners now and then.

You better very good in bed and an excellent cook! I'm talking legendary head game and Julia Childs like culinary skills.

No she don’t. Men that age and a little older would be happy with any woman that can so much as lift one leg up ever now and then

OP is in her 40s, so men her age are dating women in their late 30s-40s. I doubt these men will have trouble finding women who can do more than occasionally lift one leg up occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don't at the starting when it is all about sex but if it has to do more with LTR, living in etc then they definitely do. Noone wants to date a person that can't even pay for their own meal now and then.

Completely FALSE.... This poster must be a woman.

I dated my wife, she was 25 at the time, when she still lived at home, worked as a yoga instructor, and was still paying off her student loan debt. I was 28 years old at the time and had just come off a Fintech job with fully vested RSUs worth about $8M. I didn’t care that she was broke, because she was—and still is—gorgeous. Even if she had made $250K, it wouldn’t have changed my view of her in any way.

The evidence says otherwise. Most men marry within their economic class. If men didn't care about women's education/income you would see many more upper class men marrying poorly educated broke women. How often do you see your investment banking buddies marrying high school drop outs or women who work as cleaning ladies?

Endogamy is real.

This is so true. What PP described is an anomaly and usually doesn't happen often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a divorced woman in her 40s who makes 7 figures I think you may have a bigger dating pool broke than you do wealthier than most single men. I find most men are too insecure to date someone significantly wealthier than them, and my tastes for nice restaurants and fancy vacations don't work for almost any of the men I meet. Sometimes I think it would be easier dating being broke, or much lower income.

That’s another extreme as you are what, 0.001 %?

If you're not super attractive and make them feel good, they really don't care how much money you make. It has nothing to do with different taste in restaurants and vacations.

A woman making 7 figures would make a lot of men feeling insecure. Just by her tastes

also, it is very easy for a woman making 7 figure to feel entitled or arrogant but it is a mix with men. Not all men making 7 figures are arrogant but the reverse is not true at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 44F and financially broke with significant payments towards my bills every month. How important is my financial security for dating and being in an LTR with someone who is financial secure? For the context, I am overweight with BMI of 33-34 but look good when I dress up and put make up on. I know I can date and it is easier to do but sometimes dating also needs money if you have to buy dinners now and then.

You better very good in bed and an excellent cook! I'm talking legendary head game and Julia Childs like culinary skills.

No she don’t. Men that age and a little older would be happy with any woman that can so much as lift one leg up ever now and then

LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 44F and financially broke with significant payments towards my bills every month. How important is my financial security for dating and being in an LTR with someone who is financial secure? For the context, I am overweight with BMI of 33-34 but look good when I dress up and put make up on. I know I can date and it is easier to do but sometimes dating also needs money if you have to buy dinners now and then.

You better very good in bed and an excellent cook! I'm talking legendary head game and Julia Childs like culinary skills.

I doubt OP is good in either of them otherwise she wouldn't be in this situation. I haven't seen a man leaving a woman who is good in bed and cooks well.

Hmm…I’m overweight and kind of crazy. Maybe this is why my husband sticks around

how good you are in bed? and do you cook and clean if you are also broke?

I’m overweight and kind of crazy, but I’m great in bed and a very good cook. Maybe that’s why my husband stays with me . That and the kids.

You got it. You bring a lot in the relationship. Also, how is your BMI? OP is going into the obese category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don't at the starting when it is all about sex but if it has to do more with LTR, living in etc then they definitely do. Noone wants to date a person that can't even pay for their own meal now and then.

Completely FALSE.... This poster must be a woman.

I dated my wife, she was 25 at the time, when she still lived at home, worked as a yoga instructor, and was still paying off her student loan debt. I was 28 years old at the time and had just come off a Fintech job with fully vested RSUs worth about $8M. I didn’t care that she was broke, because she was—and still is—gorgeous. Even if she had made $250K, it wouldn’t have changed my view of her in any way.

The evidence says otherwise. Most men marry within their economic class. If men didn't care about women's education/income you would see many more upper class men marrying poorly educated broke women. How often do you see your investment banking buddies marrying high school drop outs or women who work as cleaning ladies?

Endogamy is real.

Investment banking buddies will not marry HS dropouts or cleaning ladies, but they will marry a financially broke UVA grad woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a divorced woman in her 40s who makes 7 figures I think you may have a bigger dating pool broke than you do wealthier than most single men. I find most men are too insecure to date someone significantly wealthier than them, and my tastes for nice restaurants and fancy vacations don't work for almost any of the men I meet. Sometimes I think it would be easier dating being broke, or much lower income.

That’s another extreme as you are what, 0.001 %?

If you're not super attractive and make them feel good, they really don't care how much money you make. It has nothing to do with different taste in restaurants and vacations.

A woman making 7 figures would make a lot of men feeling insecure. Just by her tastes

Yes, but if she's attractive (which she's more than likely to be), she'll have more than enough options from peers and men looking for a free ride. Attractive, successful, fit, well-dressed women under 60 in the dating market have choice overload, and the hard part is finding someone compatible who's in it for the right reasons. I'm sure this is also true of similarly positioned men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think that men cared about a woman's financial situation. Then I got divorced and started dating again. Men don't care one bit about a woman's finances. They don't care that you have a high status career. They don't care that you earn more than 70% of men. They only care about how you look and how you make them feel about themselves. It's pathetic. But that's the way it is.

They don't at the starting when it is all about sex but if it has to do more with LTR, living in etc then they definitely do. Noone wants to date a person that can't even pay for their own meal now and then.

Completely FALSE.... This poster must be a woman.

I dated my wife, she was 25 at the time, when she still lived at home, worked as a yoga instructor, and was still paying off her student loan debt. I was 28 years old at the time and had just come off a Fintech job with fully vested RSUs worth about $8M. I didn’t care that she was broke, because she was—and still is—gorgeous. Even if she had made $250K, it wouldn’t have changed my view of her in any way.

The evidence says otherwise. Most men marry within their economic class. If men didn't care about women's education/income you would see many more upper class men marrying poorly educated broke women. How often do you see your investment banking buddies marrying high school drop outs or women who work as cleaning ladies?

Endogamy is real.

This is so true. What PP described is an anomaly and usually doesn't happen often.

I don’t think that it’s even happened. It’s probably the same wacko who’s bragging about gang sex at UVA and “town bikes” counting women’s partners.
He’s got no hot wife at all.