dating and broke

[Anonymous]

let's stick with OP. I don't see her having a lot of options.

Also, not sure why she is asking here if she is 44. She should have known what is needed in the dating world at this age.

[Anonymous]

Any man who doesn't care about the financial status of a woman is a man who is into traditional gender roles. For me, it wouldn't go past the first date if he didn't care about my ability to be financially independent, stable and responsible because I have zero interest in a realtionship where my role is to be the cook / cleaner / bedmate.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As a divorced woman in her 40s who makes 7 figures I think you may have a bigger dating pool broke than you do wealthier than most single men. I find most men are too insecure to date someone significantly wealthier than them, and my tastes for nice restaurants and fancy vacations don't work for almost any of the men I meet. Sometimes I think it would be easier dating being broke, or much lower income.

That’s another extreme as you are what, 0.001 %?

If you're not super attractive and make them feel good, they really don't care how much money you make. It has nothing to do with different taste in restaurants and vacations.

A woman making 7 figures would make a lot of men feeling insecure. Just by her tastes

Yes, but if she's attractive (which she's more than likely to be), she'll have more than enough options from peers and men looking for a free ride. Attractive, successful, fit, well-dressed women under 60 in the dating market have choice overload, and the hard part is finding someone compatible who's in it for the right reasons. I'm sure this is also true of similarly positioned men.

This is not at all my experience. The money is a hangup for men who don't have the same or more, which is rare. I haven't yet met a man who seemed to be looking for a free ride, just those intimidated by the ride itself.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As a divorced woman in her 40s who makes 7 figures I think you may have a bigger dating pool broke than you do wealthier than most single men. I find most men are too insecure to date someone significantly wealthier than them, and my tastes for nice restaurants and fancy vacations don't work for almost any of the men I meet. Sometimes I think it would be easier dating being broke, or much lower income.

That’s another extreme as you are what, 0.001 %?

If you're not super attractive and make them feel good, they really don't care how much money you make. It has nothing to do with different taste in restaurants and vacations.

A woman making 7 figures would make a lot of men feeling insecure. Just by her tastes

Yes, but if she's attractive (which she's more than likely to be), she'll have more than enough options from peers and men looking for a free ride. Attractive, successful, fit, well-dressed women under 60 in the dating market have choice overload, and the hard part is finding someone compatible who's in it for the right reasons. I'm sure this is also true of similarly positioned men.

This is not at all my experience. The money is a hangup for men who don't have the same or more, which is rare. I haven't yet met a man who seemed to be looking for a free ride, just those intimidated by the ride itself.

Count your blessings. I have dated men who were free riders, including my ex-husband who argued until he was blue in the face that he should be able to penetrate a family trust that hadn't even made distributions yet in our divorce case. You could try not leading with your position or money. I found stealth wealth worked well when dating the second time around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:As a divorced woman in her 40s who makes 7 figures I think you may have a bigger dating pool broke than you do wealthier than most single men. I find most men are too insecure to date someone significantly wealthier than them, and my tastes for nice restaurants and fancy vacations don't work for almost any of the men I meet. Sometimes I think it would be easier dating being broke, or much lower income.

That’s another extreme as you are what, 0.001 %?

If you're not super attractive and make them feel good, they really don't care how much money you make. It has nothing to do with different taste in restaurants and vacations.

A woman making 7 figures would make a lot of men feeling insecure. Just by her tastes

Yes, but if she's attractive (which she's more than likely to be), she'll have more than enough options from peers and men looking for a free ride. Attractive, successful, fit, well-dressed women under 60 in the dating market have choice overload, and the hard part is finding someone compatible who's in it for the right reasons. I'm sure this is also true of similarly positioned men.

Your last paragraph does not describe OP who is over weight and broke.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am 44F and financially broke with significant payments towards my bills every month. How important is my financial security for dating and being in an LTR with someone who is financial secure? For the context, I am overweight with BMI of 33-34 but look good when I dress up and put make up on. I know I can date and it is easier to do but sometimes dating also needs money if you have to buy dinners now and then.

You better very good in bed and an excellent cook! I'm talking legendary head game and Julia Childs like culinary skills.

I doubt OP is good in either of them otherwise she wouldn't be in this situation. I haven't seen a man leaving a woman who is good in bed and cooks well.

Hmm…I’m overweight and kind of crazy. Maybe this is why my husband sticks around

how good you are in bed? and do you cook and clean if you are also broke?

I’m overweight and kind of crazy, but I’m great in bed and a very good cook. Maybe that’s why my husband stays with me . That and the kids.

You got it. You bring a lot in the relationship. Also, how is your BMI? OP is going into the obese category.

My BMI is probably in the obese category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any man who doesn't care about the financial status of a woman is a man who is into traditional gender roles. For me, it wouldn't go past the first date if he didn't care about my ability to be financially independent, stable and responsible because I have zero interest in a realtionship where my role is to be the cook / cleaner / bedmate.

But Op wants to date, letting her man support her and also keep her independence and not answerable to anything including getting cooking, cleaning and all that. I think OP got bad of all worlds but she is shooting for the stars. Good Luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am 44F and financially broke with significant payments towards my bills every month. How important is my financial security for dating and being in an LTR with someone who is financial secure? For the context, I am overweight with BMI of 33-34 but look good when I dress up and put make up on. I know I can date and it is easier to do but sometimes dating also needs money if you have to buy dinners now and then.

You better very good in bed and an excellent cook! I'm talking legendary head game and Julia Childs like culinary skills.

I doubt OP is good in either of them otherwise she wouldn't be in this situation. I haven't seen a man leaving a woman who is good in bed and cooks well.

Hmm…I’m overweight and kind of crazy. Maybe this is why my husband sticks around

how good you are in bed? and do you cook and clean if you are also broke?

I’m overweight and kind of crazy, but I’m great in bed and a very good cook. Maybe that’s why my husband stays with me . That and the kids.

You got it. You bring a lot in the relationship. Also, how is your BMI? OP is going into the obese category.

My BMI is probably in the obese category.

But you are taking care of other things, PP. stick by it since it's working for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Better activities are drinking, ice skating, roller blading, dancing, bicycling, or rock climbing.

Anonymous wrote:Op is very overweight so she can't do more than 1/2 of these activities.

That was my point. The femcentric DCUM perspective thinks dinner dates are normal, so nobody called her out on this.

Drinking and renting ice skates is much better and cheaper than dinner. The Kennedy Center has a free show every night. The D.C. zoo and museums are free. If you can't date cheap in D.C. then you lack imagination or logistics, not money.

[Anonymous]

You really shouldn’t be entering into a relationship until you have your financial house in order. Although, most women don’t have to pay anything when dating. However, address your financial problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You really shouldn’t be entering into a relationship until you have your financial house in order. Although, most women don’t have to pay anything when dating. However, address your financial problems.

also, think about it in a way that OP is expecting her future partner to take care of everything but she can't even do the same now and then. If she wants to be a user then it won't continue for long and men also understands why she would need a relationship. It goes both ways, most men don't want you to pay but also don't want you to be broke. She really needs to get her financial and medical stuff together before playing or destroying someone's life by giving false hope.

[Anonymous]

It will take OP atleast 5 years to handle this situation correctly and if she is not saving for retirement the probably going to work forever. With her health, that is a bad choice to rely so much on future earnings.

[Anonymous]

I am struggling to understand why dating with this situation is even important or needed. If you come with this mindset then you won't be able to hold a relationship. also, you would rarely have time for properly dating too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am struggling to understand why dating with this situation is even important or needed. If you come with this mindset then you won't be able to hold a relationship. also, you would rarely have time for properly dating too.

because OP thinks all this is a joke and she don't need to have her life under control and someone else should do it for her.

[Anonymous]

doesn't matter as long as you can land a job. I have seen graduates from state universities or engineering colleges that ended up landing good jobs.