DD planning to come visit for the holidays, but . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems rather presumptuous on her part. Sounds like she’s testing you. Also, if the boyfriend is any kind of man, he’d offer to stay in a hotel.

But, your house, your rules.

🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well! Thanks (I think) for the diversity of replies here!!

Not what I expected. And also I didn’t expect
To start such a big argument. We are going to go ahead and welcome him in; but of course he stays in the guest bedroom in our house

Remember that if you’re cold to him and his parents are warm to her, that’s where they are going to spend holidays from now on if they stay together. Your daughter is an adult bringing home her first serious boyfriend for the holidays. Think long term here

This. But OP should feel free to FAFO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems rather presumptuous on her part. Sounds like she’s testing you. Also, if the boyfriend is any kind of man, he’d offer to stay in a hotel.

But, your house, your rules.

😂😂😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems rather presumptuous on her part. Sounds like she’s testing you. Also, if the boyfriend is any kind of man, he’d offer to stay in a hotel.

But, your house, your rules.

That is ridiculous. Why? You know they are sharing the same tiny bed in college, right?

[Anonymous]

is she planning on them sharing a room/bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would throw open the doors and roll out the red carpet for him.

But he sleeps in the guest room.

This. Call me old-fashioned. IDC.

You two are way too dramatic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the boomers are on this thread with he has to sleep in a separate room. An adult child sleeping in the same room with her partner would not be an issue with any of the parents we know.

My 20 year old DD and her boyfriend travel together whenever they can save enough for a trip including international trips. MIL is aghast that they travel without a chaperone. DH and I almost spit out our coffee when she said this.

I’m a boomer and never suggested a separate room. Never required it for my adult kids. Stop the ageism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well! Thanks (I think) for the diversity of replies here!!

Not what I expected. And also I didn’t expect
To start such a big argument. We are going to go ahead and welcome him in; but of course he stays in the guest bedroom in our house

Why? You know they are sleeping together, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't discourage it. Be welcoming and kind.

+1
Totally normal. I went to a bf house for Christmas my sophomore year. If my parents hadn’t been so weird about all this they may have met more of my serious boyfriends. Instead I led them to believe I was gay and never brought anyone home until grad school; then I married him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would throw open the doors and roll out the red carpet for him.

But he sleeps in the guest room.

This. I would b concerned he's not going home to see his family, but welcome him anyhow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't discourage it. Be welcoming and kind.

+1
Totally normal. I went to a bf house for Christmas my sophomore year. If my parents hadn’t been so weird about all this they may have met more of my serious boyfriends. Instead I led them to believe I was gay and never brought anyone home until grad school; then I married him.

Sounds like my parents!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't let some horny college boy screw my daughter under my roof regardless of whether he's getting action from her in other places. Nope.

Separate rooms for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't let some horny college boy screw my daughter under my roof regardless of whether he's getting action from her in other places. Nope.

Separate rooms for sure.

You are fine with that happening in a car, in a dorm, in school bathroom, in his apartment in a cheap motel etc, just not under your roof?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't let some horny college boy screw my daughter under my roof regardless of whether he's getting action from her in other places. Nope.

Separate rooms for sure.

You are fine with that happening in a car, in a dorm, in school bathroom, in his apartment in a cheap motel etc, just not under your roof?

It's not rooted in reality, it's a power trip. My parents always let DH and I stay in the same room/bed when dating and we never had sex. His parents put us in separate rooms and we took the challenge to make that house our personal porn set. So make of that what you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the boomers are on this thread with he has to sleep in a separate room. An adult child sleeping in the same room with her partner would not be an issue with any of the parents we know.

My 20 year old DD and her boyfriend travel together whenever they can save enough for a trip including international trips. MIL is aghast that they travel without a chaperone. DH and I almost spit out our coffee when she said this.

I’m a boomer and never suggested a separate room. Never required it for my adult kids. Stop the ageism.

+1. Boomers normalized living together before marriage.