DD planning to come visit for the holidays, but . .

[Anonymous]

- she informered us she plans to bring along her boyfriend, and to stay at our house!

This is her 1st BF in college; we met the young man on a campus visit earlier this year. He seems nice, but all of this seems a bit sudden and everything. She’s only been dating him since (we believe) this year, though I suspect they may have began dating at the end of last school year in college.

Should we discourage this? Not sure how to navigate this. She’s come home every other year for the holidays (without a bf !), and not this, during her senior year. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't discourage it. Be welcoming and kind.

[Anonymous]

Seems rather presumptuous on her part. Sounds like she’s testing you. Also, if the boyfriend is any kind of man, he’d offer to stay in a hotel.

But, your house, your rules.

[Anonymous]

My future wife brought me home spring break of first year and every other break after that. It probably means it's a serious relationship, but there's no reason to discourage it.

[Anonymous]

Be a nice host. You daughter is an adult.

[Anonymous]

No. My policy is a significant other is to be treated very well and welcomed. You never know who is going to be "the one". I brought my dh home fairly fast, in college. Married 22 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. My policy is a significant other is to be treated very well and welcomed. You never know who is going to be "the one". I brought my dh home fairly fast, in college. Married 22 years.

+1 Married for 26 years to my first college bf, whom I started dating freshman year.

[Anonymous]

There was a step where she should have asked you. That said, I think it’s great - be kind and welcoming. I’d recommend separate bedrooms.

[Anonymous]

I would throw open the doors and roll out the red carpet for him.

But he sleeps in the guest room.

[Anonymous]

What's your concern? Sneaky sex in your house or car or yard? Sure, tell them to use a motel.
She comes back every other year? Well tell her to skip this one. Next year she will have a job and if it's worth it to her she can pay for her room with BF.

[Anonymous]

You are real jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's your concern? Sneaky sex in your house or car or yard? Sure, tell them to use a motel.
She comes back every other year? Well tell her to skip this one. Next year she will have a job and if it's worth it to her she can pay for her room with BF.

Wow. Terrible advice.

Never tell your own young adult child that they "can't" come home for Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Christmas break can be 1 month long, depending on the college. Does he plan to be with you the whole break? Will he be visiting his family also and then coming to your house for a long weekend? We need more info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Christmas break can be 1 month long, depending on the college. Does he plan to be with you the whole break? Will he be visiting his family also and then coming to your house for a long weekend? We need more info.

Sounds like the daughter graduated already. OP says they started dating at the end of last year of college.

[Anonymous]

I would have taught my kids that if they want to bring someone home, they need to ask, not tell.

You decide who sleeps in which rooms.