Friends with little to no family, holiday edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a caring person, OP, but remember that many people with "little to no family" still have busy lives, even during the holiday season. Maybe they too are exhausted at the end of the day.
People with no families can still have full and happy lives.

Honestly, this. Unless your friend specifically mentioned needing/wanting extra attention for the holidays, they're probably fine. Personally, as someone with "little to know family" (read: estranged from biofam but comfortable with chosen family, friends, etc.), I think it's awful how most of you run yourselves into the ground from mid-November to January, spending money and time you don't really even seem to have on people you don't really even seem to like.

Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad or wrong.

Whoever said this?

Literally anyone "exhausted" by the holiday madness. If you're doing a bunch of extra things that drain you, you're not budgeting your time/resources. Doing those things because you feel you "should" or "have to" isn't an excuse. If you enjoyed seeing those people and/or spending that time/money, you wouldn't need to complain about it.

Clearly this topic has irked you. Some of us like the holidays but we also recognize that things are busy/hectic and there can be a lot of competing priorities which causes stress. The world is not black and white. Sorry if your life is not full, but that doesn't give you the right to be so very nasty

Nobody's being "nasty, though you're the one who seems triggered. "busy/hectic" isn't the drama of being "exhausted". Either you're just a drama llama or you're doing something wrong. Don't try to make it about my life (which you clearly know nothing about), as I'm not at all drained by the holidays. I've learned how to budget my time for what I love and what loves me back and I don't spend time, money, or energy on things that leave me feeling tapped. If you do, well, good for you. Stop complaining about it.

NP. Did you really just say “drama llama” like it is 2012? How embarrassing for you.

Did you really just get so caught by two words that you missed the whole point and tried to project your embarrassment onto a stranger? Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a caring person, OP, but remember that many people with "little to no family" still have busy lives, even during the holiday season. Maybe they too are exhausted at the end of the day.
People with no families can still have full and happy lives.

Honestly, this. Unless your friend specifically mentioned needing/wanting extra attention for the holidays, they're probably fine. Personally, as someone with "little to know family" (read: estranged from biofam but comfortable with chosen family, friends, etc.), I think it's awful how most of you run yourselves into the ground from mid-November to January, spending money and time you don't really even seem to have on people you don't really even seem to like.

Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad or wrong.

Whoever said this?

Literally anyone "exhausted" by the holiday madness. If you're doing a bunch of extra things that drain you, you're not budgeting your time/resources. Doing those things because you feel you "should" or "have to" isn't an excuse. If you enjoyed seeing those people and/or spending that time/money, you wouldn't need to complain about it.

Clearly this topic has irked you. Some of us like the holidays but we also recognize that things are busy/hectic and there can be a lot of competing priorities which causes stress. The world is not black and white. Sorry if your life is not full, but that doesn't give you the right to be so very nasty

Nobody's being "nasty, though you're the one who seems triggered. "busy/hectic" isn't the drama of being "exhausted". Either you're just a drama llama or you're doing something wrong. Don't try to make it about my life (which you clearly know nothing about), as I'm not at all drained by the holidays. I've learned how to budget my time for what I love and what loves me back and I don't spend time, money, or energy on things that leave me feeling tapped. If you do, well, good for you. Stop complaining about it.

Sigh. You are one of the mentally unwell people who hang out on these boards, projecting your anger onto others. Good luck to you

Sigh. You are one of the ableist, unwell people who hang out on these boards, calling people you don't agree with "mentally unwell". There's not enough luck in the world for you. Seek help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

That’s great! Can I ask how you got to that mindset? Do you have kids or a partner? I have a few friends who are quite bothered by the holidays, and I don’t know how to cheer them up. I just spent the afternoon with one of them today, and I’m glad I made the time because they did seem down and needing connection. And no, I don’t think my family life is perfect and there is a lot that frustrates me about the holidays, but I also appreciate my family.

Please let your friends be bothered. It's okay. It's really okay. People who don't do holiday cheer aren't defective. If they're unhappy, well, their happiness is their own business. Trying to "cheer someone up" when they're not into it is obnoxious, and likely to backfire. Just let people be.

People get to experience the season differently than you do. It's okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends without family are so very unhappy and so very angry that I'm not responsive to their sad, sad state. But I'm so busy that I couldn't be bothered to mention all this in my original post.

Dump them. They are just emotional leeches. Take this as a wakeup call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you're boasting, or bragging. What makes you so sure they aren't plenty happy? What makes you think they yearn to spend this time with you? Drop this assurance, you seem to have, that how you spend the holidays is what others wish for.

Be more genuine. That means, you will miss them and miss your interactions with them when you have the time. Reach out when both parties can enjoy being together, not ruled by a date on the calendar.

+1 I really didn't understand the point of OP post except "omg I'm so busy!!!!!'

Nice sock puppet.

Lol that was my first post.

The only person who knows if someone is sock puppeting is Jeff. Not random PPs who just can't imagine anyone has a different view.

Bored trolls do this all the time on this forum. It's a DCUM trope. It says far more about the poster than the person they're responding to. Same with the "mentally unwell" accusations, etc. Don't take it personally because it's really not about you at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask them out for lunch or dinner, your Christmas treat! Op, don’t be a Scrooge.

Op- I did, yesterday!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

That’s great! Can I ask how you got to that mindset? Do you have kids or a partner? I have a few friends who are quite bothered by the holidays, and I don’t know how to cheer them up. I just spent the afternoon with one of them today, and I’m glad I made the time because they did seem down and needing connection. And no, I don’t think my family life is perfect and there is a lot that frustrates me about the holidays, but I also appreciate my family.

Please let your friends be bothered. It's okay. It's really okay. People who don't do holiday cheer aren't defective. If they're unhappy, well, their happiness is their own business. Trying to "cheer someone up" when they're not into it is obnoxious, and likely to backfire. Just let people be.

People get to experience the season differently than you do. It's okay.

Op here- weird that you are chiming in to answer for this PP. And also weird that you assume that you know my friends better than I do, and that you insist on putting words in my mouth. Both friends that I am thinking of in particular have told me the holidays are tough. I connected with one yesterday for a few hours and we talked about it a lot. So please stop your angry, defensive projecting of your own insecurities. If you don't have something positive to add to this thread, move on.

[Anonymous]

You know when I first got divorced (no kids, not by choice) I did need people to reach out and check on me because I felt very alone (my family lives elsewhere) and especially so once my mom passed so much so that one Christmas when I was alone with no gifts or plans and no one called or even messaged, I contemplated suicide, but over the years I have found peace with being single and childless (I do have a very spoiled dog now and that helps) and love when friends check in or include me, but also understand if they don't, it's a busy time and people have their immediate families to tend to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

That’s great! Can I ask how you got to that mindset? Do you have kids or a partner? I have a few friends who are quite bothered by the holidays, and I don’t know how to cheer them up. I just spent the afternoon with one of them today, and I’m glad I made the time because they did seem down and needing connection. And no, I don’t think my family life is perfect and there is a lot that frustrates me about the holidays, but I also appreciate my family.

Please let your friends be bothered. It's okay. It's really okay. People who don't do holiday cheer aren't defective. If they're unhappy, well, their happiness is their own business. Trying to "cheer someone up" when they're not into it is obnoxious, and likely to backfire. Just let people be.

People get to experience the season differently than you do. It's okay.

Op here- weird that you are chiming in to answer for this PP. And also weird that you assume that you know my friends better than I do, and that you insist on putting words in my mouth. Both friends that I am thinking of in particular have told me the holidays are tough. I connected with one yesterday for a few hours and we talked about it a lot. So please stop your angry, defensive projecting of your own insecurities. If you don't have something positive to add to this thread, move on.

You connected with a friend for a few hours yesterday (info added later) despite being so exhausted and then posted to complain about being so busy you can't reach out more. Got it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

That’s great! Can I ask how you got to that mindset? Do you have kids or a partner? I have a few friends who are quite bothered by the holidays, and I don’t know how to cheer them up. I just spent the afternoon with one of them today, and I’m glad I made the time because they did seem down and needing connection. And no, I don’t think my family life is perfect and there is a lot that frustrates me about the holidays, but I also appreciate my family.

Please let your friends be bothered. It's okay. It's really okay. People who don't do holiday cheer aren't defective. If they're unhappy, well, their happiness is their own business. Trying to "cheer someone up" when they're not into it is obnoxious, and likely to backfire. Just let people be.

People get to experience the season differently than you do. It's okay.

Op here- weird that you are chiming in to answer for this PP. And also weird that you assume that you know my friends better than I do, and that you insist on putting words in my mouth. Both friends that I am thinking of in particular have told me the holidays are tough. I connected with one yesterday for a few hours and we talked about it a lot. So please stop your angry, defensive projecting of your own insecurities. If you don't have something positive to add to this thread, move on.

Weird that you'd get so wackadoodle defensive about an innocuous comment you disagree with. OP, your savior complex is showing and it's ugly af.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

That’s great! Can I ask how you got to that mindset? Do you have kids or a partner? I have a few friends who are quite bothered by the holidays, and I don’t know how to cheer them up. I just spent the afternoon with one of them today, and I’m glad I made the time because they did seem down and needing connection. And no, I don’t think my family life is perfect and there is a lot that frustrates me about the holidays, but I also appreciate my family.

Please let your friends be bothered. It's okay. It's really okay. People who don't do holiday cheer aren't defective. If they're unhappy, well, their happiness is their own business. Trying to "cheer someone up" when they're not into it is obnoxious, and likely to backfire. Just let people be.

People get to experience the season differently than you do. It's okay.

Op here- weird that you are chiming in to answer for this PP. And also weird that you assume that you know my friends better than I do, and that you insist on putting words in my mouth. Both friends that I am thinking of in particular have told me the holidays are tough. I connected with one yesterday for a few hours and we talked about it a lot. So please stop your angry, defensive projecting of your own insecurities. If you don't have something positive to add to this thread, move on.

You connected with a friend for a few hours yesterday (info added later) despite being so exhausted and then posted to complain about being so busy you can't reach out more. Got it now.

Right? OP is begging for attention, and probably trolling. This story has more holes than swiss cheese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

That’s great! Can I ask how you got to that mindset? Do you have kids or a partner? I have a few friends who are quite bothered by the holidays, and I don’t know how to cheer them up. I just spent the afternoon with one of them today, and I’m glad I made the time because they did seem down and needing connection. And no, I don’t think my family life is perfect and there is a lot that frustrates me about the holidays, but I also appreciate my family.

Please let your friends be bothered. It's okay. It's really okay. People who don't do holiday cheer aren't defective. If they're unhappy, well, their happiness is their own business. Trying to "cheer someone up" when they're not into it is obnoxious, and likely to backfire. Just let people be.

People get to experience the season differently than you do. It's okay.

Op here- weird that you are chiming in to answer for this PP. And also weird that you assume that you know my friends better than I do, and that you insist on putting words in my mouth. Both friends that I am thinking of in particular have told me the holidays are tough. I connected with one yesterday for a few hours and we talked about it a lot. So please stop your angry, defensive projecting of your own insecurities. If you don't have something positive to add to this thread, move on.

Weird that you'd get so wackadoodle defensive about an innocuous comment you disagree with. OP, your savior complex is showing and it's ugly af.

Wherever you go, there you are, PP. posting as other people doesn’t change that…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know when I first got divorced (no kids, not by choice) I did need people to reach out and check on me because I felt very alone (my family lives elsewhere) and especially so once my mom passed so much so that one Christmas when I was alone with no gifts or plans and no one called or even messaged, I contemplated suicide, but over the years I have found peace with being single and childless (I do have a very spoiled dog now and that helps) and love when friends check in or include me, but also understand if they don't, it's a busy time and people have their immediate families to tend to.

Thank you, that’s an important reminder to me. I was able to check in on one friend yesterday and I’m glad I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

That’s great! Can I ask how you got to that mindset? Do you have kids or a partner? I have a few friends who are quite bothered by the holidays, and I don’t know how to cheer them up. I just spent the afternoon with one of them today, and I’m glad I made the time because they did seem down and needing connection. And no, I don’t think my family life is perfect and there is a lot that frustrates me about the holidays, but I also appreciate my family.

Please let your friends be bothered. It's okay. It's really okay. People who don't do holiday cheer aren't defective. If they're unhappy, well, their happiness is their own business. Trying to "cheer someone up" when they're not into it is obnoxious, and likely to backfire. Just let people be.

People get to experience the season differently than you do. It's okay.

Op here- weird that you are chiming in to answer for this PP. And also weird that you assume that you know my friends better than I do, and that you insist on putting words in my mouth. Both friends that I am thinking of in particular have told me the holidays are tough. I connected with one yesterday for a few hours and we talked about it a lot. So please stop your angry, defensive projecting of your own insecurities. If you don't have something positive to add to this thread, move on.

Weird that you'd get so wackadoodle defensive about an innocuous comment you disagree with. OP, your savior complex is showing and it's ugly af.

Wherever you go, there you are, PP. posting as other people doesn’t change that…

What are you even talking about? I responded in thread, as myself. Sorry you can't read, I guess?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

That’s great! Can I ask how you got to that mindset? Do you have kids or a partner? I have a few friends who are quite bothered by the holidays, and I don’t know how to cheer them up. I just spent the afternoon with one of them today, and I’m glad I made the time because they did seem down and needing connection. And no, I don’t think my family life is perfect and there is a lot that frustrates me about the holidays, but I also appreciate my family.

Please let your friends be bothered. It's okay. It's really okay. People who don't do holiday cheer aren't defective. If they're unhappy, well, their happiness is their own business. Trying to "cheer someone up" when they're not into it is obnoxious, and likely to backfire. Just let people be.

People get to experience the season differently than you do. It's okay.

Op here- weird that you are chiming in to answer for this PP. And also weird that you assume that you know my friends better than I do, and that you insist on putting words in my mouth. Both friends that I am thinking of in particular have told me the holidays are tough. I connected with one yesterday for a few hours and we talked about it a lot. So please stop your angry, defensive projecting of your own insecurities. If you don't have something positive to add to this thread, move on.

Weird that you'd get so wackadoodle defensive about an innocuous comment you disagree with. OP, your savior complex is showing and it's ugly af.

Wherever you go, there you are, PP. posting as other people doesn’t change that…

What are you even talking about? I responded in thread, as myself. Sorry you can't read, I guess?

It’s an expression