Friends with little to no family, holiday edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you're boasting, or bragging. What makes you so sure they aren't plenty happy? What makes you think they yearn to spend this time with you? Drop this assurance, you seem to have, that how you spend the holidays is what others wish for.

Be more genuine. That means, you will miss them and miss your interactions with them when you have the time. Reach out when both parties can enjoy being together, not ruled by a date on the calendar.

This.

Why are you sock puppeting?

[Anonymous]

It is not your problem that your friends do not have family to spend time with during the holiday season.

I am sure you are doing your best to be a good friend and if they are good friends they can acknowledge this too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you might be surprised how little you matter wrt holiday-specific things to people outside your family.
Singles isolated small families...they have their own activities and aren't making grudge lists of Lara, Marla, Zarla who they expect special greetings from.

Op- do you think I’d post this if these particular friends seemed happy about it, and hadn’t in fact indicated they were bothered? It’s amazing how people like you on DCUM want to rush to make the nastiest assumptions possible about others. It must be hard to live in your head..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a caring person, OP, but remember that many people with "little to no family" still have busy lives, even during the holiday season. Maybe they too are exhausted at the end of the day.
People with no families can still have full and happy lives.

Honestly, this. Unless your friend specifically mentioned needing/wanting extra attention for the holidays, they're probably fine. Personally, as someone with "little to know family" (read: estranged from biofam but comfortable with chosen family, friends, etc.), I think it's awful how most of you run yourselves into the ground from mid-November to January, spending money and time you don't really even seem to have on people you don't really even seem to like.

Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad or wrong.

Whoever said this?

Literally anyone "exhausted" by the holiday madness. If you're doing a bunch of extra things that drain you, you're not budgeting your time/resources. Doing those things because you feel you "should" or "have to" isn't an excuse. If you enjoyed seeing those people and/or spending that time/money, you wouldn't need to complain about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a caring person, OP, but remember that many people with "little to no family" still have busy lives, even during the holiday season. Maybe they too are exhausted at the end of the day.
People with no families can still have full and happy lives.

Honestly, this. Unless your friend specifically mentioned needing/wanting extra attention for the holidays, they're probably fine. Personally, as someone with "little to know family" (read: estranged from biofam but comfortable with chosen family, friends, etc.), I think it's awful how most of you run yourselves into the ground from mid-November to January, spending money and time you don't really even seem to have on people you don't really even seem to like.

Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad or wrong.

Whoever said this?

Literally anyone "exhausted" by the holiday madness. If you're doing a bunch of extra things that drain you, you're not budgeting your time/resources. Doing those things because you feel you "should" or "have to" isn't an excuse. If you enjoyed seeing those people and/or spending that time/money, you wouldn't need to complain about it.

Clearly this topic has irked you. Some of us like the holidays but we also recognize that things are busy/hectic and there can be a lot of competing priorities which causes stress. The world is not black and white. Sorry if your life is not full, but that doesn't give you the right to be so very nasty

[Anonymous]

Just plan one party for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you might be surprised how little you matter wrt holiday-specific things to people outside your family.
Singles isolated small families...they have their own activities and aren't making grudge lists of Lara, Marla, Zarla who they expect special greetings from.

Op- do you think I’d post this if these particular friends seemed happy about it, and hadn’t in fact indicated they were bothered? It’s amazing how people like you on DCUM want to rush to make the nastiest assumptions possible about others. It must be hard to live in your head..

Oh, I recognize you! Were you hoping we would read this and back off our sulky demands for attention? Happy Holidays we will be dropping by for cookies and eggnog on the 23rd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

[Anonymous]

I have a married friend (I"m divorced) who keeps flooding me with her family photos before each holiday. Her kids at winter parade, her Christmas tree decorations etc. I stopped caring or responding and don't miss her and her husband's lame Christmas parties (I've moved). I have an adult child and an elderly parent and am very close with them. Also I travel with friends during and outside holidays to places she can't imagine ever going. Like, private plane trips to watch bears catching salmon on 4th of July.

So no, OP - very few single women in 40-50s age group are missing your Christmas cookies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same. I appreciate when I’m thought of, but expect nothing and am not sitting around waiting for your call.

[Anonymous]

Op sounds like she thinks her friends are pathetic, not equals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a caring person, OP, but remember that many people with "little to no family" still have busy lives, even during the holiday season. Maybe they too are exhausted at the end of the day.
People with no families can still have full and happy lives.

Honestly, this. Unless your friend specifically mentioned needing/wanting extra attention for the holidays, they're probably fine. Personally, as someone with "little to know family" (read: estranged from biofam but comfortable with chosen family, friends, etc.), I think it's awful how most of you run yourselves into the ground from mid-November to January, spending money and time you don't really even seem to have on people you don't really even seem to like.

Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad or wrong.

Whoever said this?

Literally anyone "exhausted" by the holiday madness. If you're doing a bunch of extra things that drain you, you're not budgeting your time/resources. Doing those things because you feel you "should" or "have to" isn't an excuse. If you enjoyed seeing those people and/or spending that time/money, you wouldn't need to complain about it.

Clearly this topic has irked you. Some of us like the holidays but we also recognize that things are busy/hectic and there can be a lot of competing priorities which causes stress. The world is not black and white. Sorry if your life is not full, but that doesn't give you the right to be so very nasty

Nobody's being "nasty, though you're the one who seems triggered. "busy/hectic" isn't the drama of being "exhausted". Either you're just a drama llama or you're doing something wrong. Don't try to make it about my life (which you clearly know nothing about), as I'm not at all drained by the holidays. I've learned how to budget my time for what I love and what loves me back and I don't spend time, money, or energy on things that leave me feeling tapped. If you do, well, good for you. Stop complaining about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op sounds like she thinks her friends are pathetic, not equals.

+1 OP sounds like the traditional Christmas Martyr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a caring person, OP, but remember that many people with "little to no family" still have busy lives, even during the holiday season. Maybe they too are exhausted at the end of the day.
People with no families can still have full and happy lives.

Honestly, this. Unless your friend specifically mentioned needing/wanting extra attention for the holidays, they're probably fine. Personally, as someone with "little to know family" (read: estranged from biofam but comfortable with chosen family, friends, etc.), I think it's awful how most of you run yourselves into the ground from mid-November to January, spending money and time you don't really even seem to have on people you don't really even seem to like.

Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad or wrong.

Whoever said this?

Literally anyone "exhausted" by the holiday madness. If you're doing a bunch of extra things that drain you, you're not budgeting your time/resources. Doing those things because you feel you "should" or "have to" isn't an excuse. If you enjoyed seeing those people and/or spending that time/money, you wouldn't need to complain about it.

Clearly this topic has irked you. Some of us like the holidays but we also recognize that things are busy/hectic and there can be a lot of competing priorities which causes stress. The world is not black and white. Sorry if your life is not full, but that doesn't give you the right to be so very nasty

Nobody's being "nasty, though you're the one who seems triggered. "busy/hectic" isn't the drama of being "exhausted". Either you're just a drama llama or you're doing something wrong. Don't try to make it about my life (which you clearly know nothing about), as I'm not at all drained by the holidays. I've learned how to budget my time for what I love and what loves me back and I don't spend time, money, or energy on things that leave me feeling tapped. If you do, well, good for you. Stop complaining about it.

NP. Did you really just say “drama llama” like it is 2012? How embarrassing for you.

[Anonymous]

Most DCUM posters hate their families are look for ways to avoid them during the holidays.