Friends with little to no family, holiday edition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a caring person, OP, but remember that many people with "little to no family" still have busy lives, even during the holiday season. Maybe they too are exhausted at the end of the day.
People with no families can still have full and happy lives.

Honestly, this. Unless your friend specifically mentioned needing/wanting extra attention for the holidays, they're probably fine. Personally, as someone with "little to know family" (read: estranged from biofam but comfortable with chosen family, friends, etc.), I think it's awful how most of you run yourselves into the ground from mid-November to January, spending money and time you don't really even seem to have on people you don't really even seem to like.

Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad or wrong.

Whoever said this?

Literally anyone "exhausted" by the holiday madness. If you're doing a bunch of extra things that drain you, you're not budgeting your time/resources. Doing those things because you feel you "should" or "have to" isn't an excuse. If you enjoyed seeing those people and/or spending that time/money, you wouldn't need to complain about it.

Clearly this topic has irked you. Some of us like the holidays but we also recognize that things are busy/hectic and there can be a lot of competing priorities which causes stress. The world is not black and white. Sorry if your life is not full, but that doesn't give you the right to be so very nasty

Nobody's being "nasty, though you're the one who seems triggered. "busy/hectic" isn't the drama of being "exhausted". Either you're just a drama llama or you're doing something wrong. Don't try to make it about my life (which you clearly know nothing about), as I'm not at all drained by the holidays. I've learned how to budget my time for what I love and what loves me back and I don't spend time, money, or energy on things that leave me feeling tapped. If you do, well, good for you. Stop complaining about it.

Sigh. You are one of the mentally unwell people who hang out on these boards, projecting your anger onto others. Good luck to you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

That’s great! Can I ask how you got to that mindset? Do you have kids or a partner? I have a few friends who are quite bothered by the holidays, and I don’t know how to cheer them up. I just spent the afternoon with one of them today, and I’m glad I made the time because they did seem down and needing connection. And no, I don’t think my family life is perfect and there is a lot that frustrates me about the holidays, but I also appreciate my family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you're boasting, or bragging. What makes you so sure they aren't plenty happy? What makes you think they yearn to spend this time with you? Drop this assurance, you seem to have, that how you spend the holidays is what others wish for.

Be more genuine. That means, you will miss them and miss your interactions with them when you have the time. Reach out when both parties can enjoy being together, not ruled by a date on the calendar.

+1 I really didn't understand the point of OP post except "omg I'm so busy!!!!!'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you're boasting, or bragging. What makes you so sure they aren't plenty happy? What makes you think they yearn to spend this time with you? Drop this assurance, you seem to have, that how you spend the holidays is what others wish for.

Be more genuine. That means, you will miss them and miss your interactions with them when you have the time. Reach out when both parties can enjoy being together, not ruled by a date on the calendar.

+1 I really didn't understand the point of OP post except "omg I'm so busy!!!!!'

Nice sock puppet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you're boasting, or bragging. What makes you so sure they aren't plenty happy? What makes you think they yearn to spend this time with you? Drop this assurance, you seem to have, that how you spend the holidays is what others wish for.

Be more genuine. That means, you will miss them and miss your interactions with them when you have the time. Reach out when both parties can enjoy being together, not ruled by a date on the calendar.

+1 I really didn't understand the point of OP post except "omg I'm so busy!!!!!'

Nice sock puppet.

Lol that was my first post.

The only person who knows if someone is sock puppeting is Jeff. Not random PPs who just can't imagine anyone has a different view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like you're boasting, or bragging. What makes you so sure they aren't plenty happy? What makes you think they yearn to spend this time with you? Drop this assurance, you seem to have, that how you spend the holidays is what others wish for.

Be more genuine. That means, you will miss them and miss your interactions with them when you have the time.
Reach out when both parties can enjoy being together, not ruled by a date on the calendar.

+1 I really didn't understand the point of OP post except "omg I'm so busy!!!!!'

Nice sock puppet.

Lol that was my first post.

The only person who knows if someone is sock puppeting is Jeff. Not random PPs who just can't imagine anyone has a different view.

Right right. First post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Thank you. Although I have one friend who tends to be sensitive and offended easily. She had a huge rift with another friend and I recently found it was because the friend didn’t get back to her about something. Friend had 2 small children at the time, one of whom had medical issues.

This may be why she has few friends.

[Anonymous]

My friends without family are so very unhappy and so very angry that I'm not responsive to their sad, sad state. But I'm so busy that I couldn't be bothered to mention all this in my original post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

That’s great! Can I ask how you got to that mindset? Do you have kids or a partner? I have a few friends who are quite bothered by the holidays, and I don’t know how to cheer them up. I just spent the afternoon with one of them today, and I’m glad I made the time because they did seem down and needing connection. And no, I don’t think my family life is perfect and there is a lot that frustrates me about the holidays, but I also appreciate my family.

Different poster, but I am almost always alone for the holidays - I'm what used to be called a spinster. What I learned was the key to being happy is to avoid social media during this time period and do some things I normally don't have time for. This Christmas I will be dog sitting for 3-4 days, and on New Year's Day I will take myself to the beach and pick up dim sum on the way home. I always get a few books from the library right before holidays to immerse in those. I do recall a time in my mid 20's when I was miserable being alone on Thanksgiving and learned to avoid being online during the holidays. That was a real game changer for me.

[Anonymous]

Is there a question there? Or you hope that your friends will read your message in DCUM? The time you took to write this out, you could have texted your friend to say hi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a question there? Or you hope that your friends will read your message in DCUM? The time you took to write this out, you could have texted your friend to say hi.

+1. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends without family are so very unhappy and so very angry that I'm not responsive to their sad, sad state. But I'm so busy that I couldn't be bothered to mention all this in my original post.

It must be hard to live in your head

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have little to no family. I don't expect anyone to check in or catch up specifically because it's the holidays.

Take this off your plate. Really.

Same for me! I’ll be actually very happy to be alone for Xmas

That’s great! Can I ask how you got to that mindset? Do you have kids or a partner? I have a few friends who are quite bothered by the holidays, and I don’t know how to cheer them up. I just spent the afternoon with one of them today, and I’m glad I made the time because they did seem down and needing connection. And no, I don’t think my family life is perfect and there is a lot that frustrates me about the holidays, but I also appreciate my family.

Different poster, but I am almost always alone for the holidays - I'm what used to be called a spinster. What I learned was the key to being happy is to avoid social media during this time period and do some things I normally don't have time for. This Christmas I will be dog sitting for 3-4 days, and on New Year's Day I will take myself to the beach and pick up dim sum on the way home. I always get a few books from the library right before holidays to immerse in those. I do recall a time in my mid 20's when I was miserable being alone on Thanksgiving and learned to avoid being online during the holidays. That was a real game changer for me.

Social media is the worst

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a caring person, OP, but remember that many people with "little to no family" still have busy lives, even during the holiday season. Maybe they too are exhausted at the end of the day.
People with no families can still have full and happy lives.

Honestly, this. Unless your friend specifically mentioned needing/wanting extra attention for the holidays, they're probably fine. Personally, as someone with "little to know family" (read: estranged from biofam but comfortable with chosen family, friends, etc.), I think it's awful how most of you run yourselves into the ground from mid-November to January, spending money and time you don't really even seem to have on people you don't really even seem to like.

Just because it's different doesn't mean it's bad or wrong.

Whoever said this?

Literally anyone "exhausted" by the holiday madness. If you're doing a bunch of extra things that drain you, you're not budgeting your time/resources. Doing those things because you feel you "should" or "have to" isn't an excuse. If you enjoyed seeing those people and/or spending that time/money, you wouldn't need to complain about it.

Clearly this topic has irked you. Some of us like the holidays but we also recognize that things are busy/hectic and there can be a lot of competing priorities which causes stress. The world is not black and white. Sorry if your life is not full, but that doesn't give you the right to be so very nasty

Nobody's being "nasty, though you're the one who seems triggered. "busy/hectic" isn't the drama of being "exhausted". Either you're just a drama llama or you're doing something wrong. Don't try to make it about my life (which you clearly know nothing about), as I'm not at all drained by the holidays. I've learned how to budget my time for what I love and what loves me back and I don't spend time, money, or energy on things that leave me feeling tapped. If you do, well, good for you. Stop complaining about it.

NP. Did you really just say “drama llama” like it is 2012? How embarrassing for you.

This is a regular DCUM rage poster. I imagine her as a middle aged or older woman, psychologically trapped in her teenage body, with much of the dated lingo still used. She thinks she’s not recognizable, and will wait and come back to rage post again.

[Anonymous]

Ask them out for lunch or dinner, your Christmas treat! Op, don’t be a Scrooge.