Why would my son's newly engaged ex-girlfriend randomly text him a photo of her wearing an engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

“Looks like a diamond, only smaller”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all-as others have said, it’s very weird that your son told you about this. No matter how close you are this is a weird thing to share.

It could be any one of the reasons people have mentioned. But I think the more likely reason is that his ex is still a little salty and wanted to send it as sort of a “my life is good, i’m getting married and things really worked out after we broke up.” Regardless of the reason(s) she sent it-the best response from your son is to say “Congrats, so happy for you” or some very close variation of that. it’s the mature thing to do regardless of how he actually feels about it. He could also ignore but I think responding is better only because (even if in his mind he is saying it with sarcasm) he is going to be looked at as someone who responded with class.

i disagree that it is wierd the son to share it. what's wrong with "hey Mom, I got an odd text last night from my ex girlfriend Tiffany. she texted me a photo of a hand with an engagement ring, which I assume means she got engaged. I'm happy for her."

I think that the girl's text itself is wierd, and the Mom getting upset and coming here to crowdsource is also wierd - but the son mentioning it to his Mom is actually the one part that is NOT so strange.

The word is weird. But even weirder than your spelling, is your take. Nobody would use your odd “hey mom” speech and op doesn’t sound upset. Basically you’re way off base about all of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want us to say that she's a terrible person and is looking to twist the knife or something?

There might be a tiny bit of that going on (which would be entirely understandable), but mostly she's just happy and wants everyone to know. That is perfectly normal.

Your son sends back congratulations and stops thinking about it. And you should stop AGONIZING.

I posted this because I am old and out of touch, so I'm crowd sourcing on here. I don't know if this is common or strange with kids this age. My gut reaction was this is rude to her fiancé, but again, I'm old.

It isn't "rude to her fiance." It is rude to your DH. Well, not rude really, but it's an aggressive see-ha-I'm-engaged-and-you-are-not text. It's a see-how-happy-I-am-without-YOU text. At any rate, it isn't strange at all, I'm sure a lot of people do it.

So she still has feelings. Doesn’t bode well for the upcoming wedding or her current relationship. What would you think if your fiance did this with his ex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want us to say that she's a terrible person and is looking to twist the knife or something?

There might be a tiny bit of that going on (which would be entirely understandable), but mostly she's just happy and wants everyone to know. That is perfectly normal.

Your son sends back congratulations and stops thinking about it. And you should stop AGONIZING.

I posted this because I am old and out of touch, so I'm crowd sourcing on here. I don't know if this is common or strange with kids this age. My gut reaction was this is rude to her fiancé, but again, I'm old.

It isn't "rude to her fiance." It is rude to your DH. Well, not rude really, but it's an aggressive see-ha-I'm-engaged-and-you-are-not text. It's a see-how-happy-I-am-without-YOU text. At any rate, it isn't strange at all, I'm sure a lot of people do it.

So she still has feelings. Doesn’t bode well for the upcoming wedding or her current relationship. What would you think if your fiance did this with his ex?

Yeah, this is *really* bad news for the fiancé.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want us to say that she's a terrible person and is looking to twist the knife or something?

There might be a tiny bit of that going on (which would be entirely understandable), but mostly she's just happy and wants everyone to know. That is perfectly normal.

Your son sends back congratulations and stops thinking about it. And you should stop AGONIZING.

I posted this because I am old and out of touch, so I'm crowd sourcing on here. I don't know if this is common or strange with kids this age. My gut reaction was this is rude to her fiancé, but again, I'm old.

It's not rude to her fiance.

My worst interpretation would be:

"Someone loves me enough to marry me and you didn't".

I think it's unfinished business but by leaving the caption off/not sending text she's being less explicit and maybe less rude.

It might be a bit more polite if she believes they meant a lot to each other and she believes people should find out "first-hand". That's a norm for some people. I prefer news thirdhand actually.

I had to give my husband of 30 years a 1 year deadline to decide. He was young and his indecisiveness was not flattering or comforting, even if it was understandable.

No response is needed.

Texting an ex that you haven’t spoken to in two years right after you get engaged is indeed, rude to your fiance.

Why? Don't you think it depends on the reason/motive? People have pasts these days. It's okay for women to communicate with their exes.

[Anonymous]

It's giving "He'd better have already replied 'new phone who dis'"

attention-seeking. Churlish if she thought he wasn't over her. Stupid. Not over the breakup. Men don't even care about other women's rings.

The big question is how he felt/reacted.

[Anonymous]

Why would an ex from YEARS ago be on her mind in any way right after getting engaged? Super messy and classless. Anyone rationalizing this is also messy and classless. You know damn well you wouldn’t tell your fiancé you just texted your ex boyfriend the news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

Showing your loser son what he lost.

[Anonymous]

You should have known nothing about it!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your son made a lucky escape.

[Anonymous]

She’s probably not in love. Young women are getting engaged for social media content and the perceived status of reaching a milestone. Nobody wants to be single at 28, 29, or God forbid 30 and still using dating apps to meet randos. Divorcing later isn’t a big deal, probably because so few young adults are religious anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

Showing your loser son what he lost.

Sounds like a bullet dodged. What kind of person gets engaged and the first thing they do is text their ex about it when they haven't spoken in years? Bunny boiler.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She looking for him to text her “Congrats! Wish you the best!” (Or rather, if he’s normal that’s what she’s looking for bc that’s how a normal person would respond. )

Yes, this is normal for a mutual and not rancorous split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want us to say that she's a terrible person and is looking to twist the knife or something?

There might be a tiny bit of that going on (which would be entirely understandable), but mostly she's just happy and wants everyone to know. That is perfectly normal.

Your son sends back congratulations and stops thinking about it. And you should stop AGONIZING.

I posted this because I am old and out of touch, so I'm crowd sourcing on here. I don't know if this is common or strange with kids this age. My gut reaction was this is rude to her fiancé, but again, I'm old.

It's not rude to her fiance.

My worst interpretation would be:

"Someone loves me enough to marry me and you didn't".

I think it's unfinished business but by leaving the caption off/not sending text she's being less explicit and maybe less rude.

It might be a bit more polite if she believes they meant a lot to each other and she believes people should find out "first-hand". That's a norm for some people. I prefer news thirdhand actually.

I had to give my husband of 30 years a 1 year deadline to decide. He was young and his indecisiveness was not flattering or comforting, even if it was understandable.

No response is needed.

Texting an ex that you haven’t spoken to in two years right after you get engaged is indeed, rude to your fiance.

Why? Don't you think it depends on the reason/motive? People have pasts these days. It's okay for women to communicate with their exes.

It's ok if you have an existing friendship and regular communication, not out of the blue "look at me now!" text. Means she's been thinking about him the entire time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

Showing your loser son what he lost.

Sounds like a bullet dodged. What kind of person gets engaged and the first thing they do is text their ex about it when they haven't spoken in years? Bunny boiler.

Why the assumption that it’s the first thing she did?