Why would my son's newly engaged ex-girlfriend randomly text him a photo of her wearing an engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

You seem to know an offer lot about your son’s love life. Maybe she broke up with him bc your son shares every detail of his life with mommy. Is he nearly 30 or 5?

Normal families know about each other's lives. Your dysfunctional family experience is not universal.

Most grown sons would share this with their buddies and aren’t as open about their love life with their mother. Mothers/daughters type of conversation or father/son but mother/som ehh it’s giving mommy boy vibes. Like when he is in a relationship/marriage he will tell his mom about his relationship issues causing more strain in his relationship. Ask me how I know.

Who died and make you spokesperson for "most grown sons". My husband and his mom mostly just talk about other people because they have little else in common. They talk about other family members, old neighbors, people from their old Church, etc because my MILs eyes would glaze over if he started talking about work, sports, or a car he likes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

College educated young adults don't break up just because of distance. They can get a job anywhere, work remotely, take turns flying to see each other, hybrid work schedule leave 3-5 day weekends, reroute work flights, FaceTime. Whatever, they can make it work.

Your son broke this girl's heart.

That's on her to deal with. Supposedly she moved on and got engaged. The son isn't obligated to stick it out with her if she wasn't the one for him and get a new job and put up with all this inconvenience. It wasn't meant to be. Blaming the distance is just an easy way out. Otherwise it's the old "it's not you, it's me".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

You seem to know an offer lot about your son’s love life. Maybe she broke up with him bc your son shares every detail of his life with mommy. Is he nearly 30 or 5?

Normal families know about each other's lives. Your dysfunctional family experience is not universal.

Most grown sons would share this with their buddies and aren’t as open about their love life with their mother. Mothers/daughters type of conversation or father/son but mother/som ehh it’s giving mommy boy vibes. Like when he is in a relationship/marriage he will tell his mom about his relationship issues causing more strain in his relationship. Ask me how I know.

Who died and make you spokesperson for "most grown sons". My husband and his mom mostly just talk about other people because they have little else in common. They talk about other family members, old neighbors, people from their old Church, etc because my MILs eyes would glaze over if he started talking about work, sports, or a car he likes.

Guess I’m just a little biased bc my ex husband hence one of the reasons he is an ex would vent to his mom about our relationship issues and go to her about every little thing. I felt like I was married to a man child rather than a man who could stand on his own two feet. I felt like there were 3 ppl in our marriage me, him, and his mom. He called her everyday without fail. She wasn’t older, sickly, or lonely. She had a very active social life and other children as well. So it wasn’t like he was her only source of communication even when we traveled and I insisted we go phone free and focus on each other nope he had to call her everyday. It got to be beyond weird bc he treated her more like a girlfriend he had to check in with than a mother. There is close mother son relationship and then there is enmeshed and overbearing where you can’t go a day without talking even at the expense of your marriage. Now we are divorced and his mother has him all to herself and I’m with a lovely man who loves his mother and is close to her put I don’t feel like she is the other woman. He does the normal once a week check in unless something major happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

College educated young adults don't break up just because of distance. They can get a job anywhere, work remotely, take turns flying to see each other, hybrid work schedule leave 3-5 day weekends, reroute work flights, FaceTime. Whatever, they can make it work.

Your son broke this girl's heart.

Ummm yeah, no they don't and do break up because of distance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

Seeking attention

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP did your son share this w his father?
What was his response ?

Not OP, but curious to know.

His response was probably " Okay?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

An immature and messy child trying to bait your son into a reaction. Good luck to her future husband. They're not even married yet and she's toying with ex boyfriends behind his back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

You seem to know an offer lot about your son’s love life. Maybe she broke up with him bc your son shares every detail of his life with mommy. Is he nearly 30 or 5?

Normal families know about each other's lives. Your dysfunctional family experience is not universal.

Most grown sons would share this with their buddies and aren’t as open about their love life with their mother. Mothers/daughters type of conversation or father/son but mother/som ehh it’s giving mommy boy vibes. Like when he is in a relationship/marriage he will tell his mom about his relationship issues causing more strain in his relationship. Ask me how I know.

This is that fascinating DCUM phenomenon where posters extrapolate based on their experience that it applies to "most."

In my experience, my grown children of both genders will tell me details like that they broke up and why. That isn't in my opinion a lot of detail about "their love life."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

Who cares

Likely that she’s totally off the market and the one who got away. Ie to rub it in. Or he can make his move now or forever hold his peace!

What’s his move OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

You seem to know an offer lot about your son’s love life. Maybe she broke up with him bc your son shares every detail of his life with mommy. Is he nearly 30 or 5?

Normal families know about each other's lives. Your dysfunctional family experience is not universal.

Most grown sons would share this with their buddies and aren’t as open about their love life with their mother. Mothers/daughters type of conversation or father/son but mother/som ehh it’s giving mommy boy vibes. Like when he is in a relationship/marriage he will tell his mom about his relationship issues causing more strain in his relationship. Ask me how I know.

Who died and make you spokesperson for "most grown sons". My husband and his mom mostly just talk about other people because they have little else in common. They talk about other family members, old neighbors, people from their old Church, etc because my MILs eyes would glaze over if he started talking about work, sports, or a car he likes.

Guess I’m just a little biased bc my ex husband hence one of the reasons he is an ex would vent to his mom about our relationship issues and go to her about every little thing. I felt like I was married to a man child rather than a man who could stand on his own two feet. I felt like there were 3 ppl in our marriage me, him, and his mom. He called her everyday without fail. She wasn’t older, sickly, or lonely. She had a very active social life and other children as well. So it wasn’t like he was her only source of communication even when we traveled and I insisted we go phone free and focus on each other nope he had to call her everyday. It got to be beyond weird bc he treated her more like a girlfriend he had to check in with than a mother. There is close mother son relationship and then there is enmeshed and overbearing where you can’t go a day without talking even at the expense of your marriage. Now we are divorced and his mother has him all to herself and I’m with a lovely man who loves his mother and is close to her put I don’t feel like she is the other woman. He does the normal once a week check in unless something major happens.

So, your one experience tells you what "most" grown men are like? Have you ever dated anyone else or just the one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

You seem to know an offer lot about your son’s love life. Maybe she broke up with him bc your son shares every detail of his life with mommy. Is he nearly 30 or 5?

Normal families know about each other's lives. Your dysfunctional family experience is not universal.

Most grown sons would share this with their buddies and aren’t as open about their love life with their mother. Mothers/daughters type of conversation or father/son but mother/som ehh it’s giving mommy boy vibes. Like when he is in a relationship/marriage he will tell his mom about his relationship issues causing more strain in his relationship. Ask me how I know.

This. School em’ ☕️

[Anonymous]

Clearly she did this just because she knows she lives rent free in OP’s head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty normal to think a serious ex should hear about your engagement from you. I have 2 exes that let me know when they got engaged; 1 was also a guest at my wedding. I do not actually think this is weird at all if they ended on decent terms.

Exactly.

Most people would rather hear it directly from the person rather than through the grapevine.

Exactly what? Why would someone you haven’t talked to in two years care? Nobody is inviting people to their wedding that haven’t talked to in years.

Do you know what is meant by “through the grapevine”?

So men should start texting years-ago ex girlfriends their own engagement, maybe wedding and first child photos too - you know, so they hear it from him first? You phonies would advise any woman receiving random texts like this to file a restraining order because it’s not a courtesy, it’s mentally unsound.

I believe you must have a lot of experience with restraining orders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty normal to think a serious ex should hear about your engagement from you. I have 2 exes that let me know when they got engaged; 1 was also a guest at my wedding. I do not actually think this is weird at all if they ended on decent terms.

Exactly.

Most people would rather hear it directly from the person rather than through the grapevine.

Exactly what? Why would someone you haven’t talked to in two years care? Nobody is inviting people to their wedding that haven’t talked to in years.

Do you know what is meant by “through the grapevine”?

If you had decent communication skills and were worried about the "grapevine" you wouldn't just drop a pic with no text around it to someone you haven't even spoken with in 2 years.

A pic with no text that he knew was from her suggests that he still has her saved as a contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty normal to think a serious ex should hear about your engagement from you. I have 2 exes that let me know when they got engaged; 1 was also a guest at my wedding. I do not actually think this is weird at all if they ended on decent terms.

Exactly.

Most people would rather hear it directly from the person rather than through the grapevine.

Exactly what? Why would someone you haven’t talked to in two years care? Nobody is inviting people to their wedding that haven’t talked to in years.

Do you know what is meant by “through the grapevine”?

If you had decent communication skills and were worried about the "grapevine" you wouldn't just drop a pic with no text around it to someone you haven't even spoken with in 2 years.

A pic with no text that he knew was from her suggests that he still has her saved as a contact.

Yeah. That proves everything. What remarkable restraint for not using it whatsoever in 2 years.