Why would my son's newly engaged ex-girlfriend randomly text him a photo of her wearing an engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s settling and is trying to tell him to reach out if he’s interested before it’s too late.

🔔 🔔 🔔

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spite, duh

He may have told you it was amicable but that doesn’t mean she agrees.

I’m embarrassed for her, and her 2nd place fiancé.

Your son dodged a bullet with that one.

[Anonymous]

Why are you snooping in your son’s phone?

[Anonymous]

She's not over your son.

He should just reply "nice" or "cool", then block her. Make sure there is no period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want us to say that she's a terrible person and is looking to twist the knife or something?

There might be a tiny bit of that going on (which would be entirely understandable), but mostly she's just happy and wants everyone to know. That is perfectly normal.

Your son sends back congratulations and stops thinking about it. And you should stop AGONIZING.

I posted this because I am old and out of touch, so I'm crowd sourcing on here. I don't know if this is common or strange with kids this age. My gut reaction was this is rude to her fiancé, but again, I'm old.

It's not rude to her fiance.

My worst interpretation would be:

"Someone loves me enough to marry me and you didn't".

I think it's unfinished business but by leaving the caption off/not sending text she's being less explicit and maybe less rude.

It might be a bit more polite if she believes they meant a lot to each other and she believes people should find out "first-hand". That's a norm for some people. I prefer news thirdhand actually.

I had to give my husband of 30 years a 1 year deadline to decide. He was young and his indecisiveness was not flattering or comforting, even if it was understandable.

No response is needed.

[Anonymous]

First of all-as others have said, it’s very weird that your son told you about this. No matter how close you are this is a weird thing to share.

It could be any one of the reasons people have mentioned. But I think the more likely reason is that his ex is still a little salty and wanted to send it as sort of a “my life is good, i’m getting married and things really worked out after we broke up.” Regardless of the reason(s) she sent it-the best response from your son is to say “Congrats, so happy for you” or some very close variation of that. it’s the mature thing to do regardless of how he actually feels about it. He could also ignore but I think responding is better only because (even if in his mind he is saying it with sarcasm) he is going to be looked at as someone who responded with class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it matter, OP? He can send a quick, “Congratulations, wishing you all the best!”

Instead, he…ran to Mommy?

And you…ran to the Internet?

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

If an ex sends me this I'll be really happy..they are an ex for a reason. And it's proof they are forever gone.

I may be wrong, but as a man sometimes I feel like women take it personally if men don't take the next steps with them. It's as if, they believe they are so perfect that it's impossible for any man not to marry them(if they are at this stage of their life).

One of my ex when we broke up told me that I was missing out and will never find someone like her again. I don't know SOME women take rejection too personally .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They broke up due to living on opposite coasts. According to him it was pretty mutual. Sad but not messy. They have not communicated since Christmas 2023. He randomly got a photo text from her over the weekend with no caption, just her hand showing off her engagement ring. What motivates such a text from a 27 year old woman and what reaction is she looking for?

You’re probably not getting the full story.

+1. She probably did this because she was transparent with him while they were dating that she was looking for a relationship that would lead to marriage and instead of just owning that he didn't want to get married or he didn't want to get married to her and breaking up, he probably gaslit her by telling her that she wasn't enough and if only she would do X, Y, Z, he would propose. For some men, their preferred form of abuse isn't physical, it's manipulation and control thru putting the partner down.

The fact that a guy would show this pic to his mother says a lot about needing reinforcement that *she* was the problem.

[Anonymous]

She wants attention.

He should delete and ignore.

[Anonymous]

I had an ex who was visiting town and texts me out of the blue. We went for ice cream, she told me about her relationship how she was happy etc....10 hours later she was on all 4s and we didn't even use condoms. I think she reached out because she wanted to f**k

Women love attention. Your ex just want attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want us to say that she's a terrible person and is looking to twist the knife or something?

There might be a tiny bit of that going on (which would be entirely understandable), but mostly she's just happy and wants everyone to know. That is perfectly normal.

Your son sends back congratulations and stops thinking about it. And you should stop AGONIZING.

I posted this because I am old and out of touch, so I'm crowd sourcing on here. I don't know if this is common or strange with kids this age. My gut reaction was this is rude to her fiancé, but again, I'm old.

It's not rude to her fiance.

My worst interpretation would be:

"Someone loves me enough to marry me and you didn't".

I think it's unfinished business but by leaving the caption off/not sending text she's being less explicit and maybe less rude.

It might be a bit more polite if she believes they meant a lot to each other and she believes people should find out "first-hand". That's a norm for some people. I prefer news thirdhand actually.

I had to give my husband of 30 years a 1 year deadline to decide. He was young and his indecisiveness was not flattering or comforting, even if it was understandable.

No response is needed.

Texting an ex that you haven’t spoken to in two years right after you get engaged is indeed, rude to your fiance.

[Anonymous]

Why do people think its so weird that a son might tell his mom “you’ll never guess who l heard from” and tell her the news. Men gossip too.

[Anonymous]

I gotta admit that if I were the girl's fiance, I would be annoyed.
But it's funny the the MIL wants us to think that she is crowd sourcing this because she is policing the girl's manners toward her fiance. please.

[Anonymous]

OP, how hot is the girl, and how does she compare to the girls (if any) that your son has dated since the break up?
if you answer that honestly and objectively, it would explain a lot about everyone's behavior here.