Is this rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you’d think I’m annoying that I always discuss my daughters’ nut allergies with people, but if you do, that’s OK. Their own grandparents, 12 years on, cannot grasp that they are allergic to tree nuts and peanuts and literally ALWAYS have nuts around with no mention of them, despite the conversations. And well-meaning parents say “oh yes, I know, no peanuts” when it’s also no *tree nuts.* Tree nuts don’t seem to register to people because peanut allergies are more ubiquitous.

Just last Thanksgiving, despite my nephew also having nut allergies, my Mom put out the Thanksgiving spread with no mention to any parent or kid that she had tried a new recipe with walnuts in the cranberry sauce. It’s a good thing I was making kid plates for my young nieces when I was like, “Uh hey Mom, did you put nuts in the cranberry sauce?” And no, there was no other cranberry alternative. People forget ALL THE TIME. And I don’t blame them, because hosts have a lot to think about, as I well know as a frequent holiday host!

I do this too with my kid's nut allergy. And I check all boxes and labels myself. The grandparents forget to check ingredients every time (they have accidentally put out food with nuts that- in fairness to them- was a food that is typically nut-free). With a food allergy, you have to check every single time. I don't care that it annoys people!

Nut allergies are completely different than food preferences, especially for a host that always accommodates the food preference.

But instead of getting worked up why can’t OP simply keep it light and say, don’t worry, as we always do, there will be plenty of pizza with no meat. Can’t wait to see you.

Being vegetarian is not a food “preference.” It is a restriction.

A voluntary restriction.

And? Do you sneer to your Jewish or Muslim friends for their VOLUNTARY food restrictions of no pork or Kosher, etc.? Oh wait, you don’t have nay Jewish or Muslim friends.

Well, I am Jewish, but I don’t keep kosher, it’s true. My boyfriend is Muslim and doesn’t eat pork voluntarily, but he did eat it once unknowingly at a barbecue and was perfectly fine, physically. Plus, Allah has not smited him yet! So yes, I would also argue that those are voluntary restrictions. I don’t sneer at them, but I don’t think it’s the same as being allergic.

[Anonymous]

Ask if the long standing tradition of only ordering vegetarian pizza is something that no longer works for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you’d think I’m annoying that I always discuss my daughters’ nut allergies with people, but if you do, that’s OK. Their own grandparents, 12 years on, cannot grasp that they are allergic to tree nuts and peanuts and literally ALWAYS have nuts around with no mention of them, despite the conversations. And well-meaning parents say “oh yes, I know, no peanuts” when it’s also no *tree nuts.* Tree nuts don’t seem to register to people because peanut allergies are more ubiquitous.

Just last Thanksgiving, despite my nephew also having nut allergies, my Mom put out the Thanksgiving spread with no mention to any parent or kid that she had tried a new recipe with walnuts in the cranberry sauce. It’s a good thing I was making kid plates for my young nieces when I was like, “Uh hey Mom, did you put nuts in the cranberry sauce?” And no, there was no other cranberry alternative. People forget ALL THE TIME. And I don’t blame them, because hosts have a lot to think about, as I well know as a frequent holiday host!

I do this too with my kid's nut allergy. And I check all boxes and labels myself. The grandparents forget to check ingredients every time (they have accidentally put out food with nuts that- in fairness to them- was a food that is typically nut-free). With a food allergy, you have to check every single time. I don't care that it annoys people!

Nut allergies are completely different than food preferences, especially for a host that always accommodates the food preference.

But instead of getting worked up why can’t OP simply keep it light and say, don’t worry, as we always do, there will be plenty of pizza with no meat. Can’t wait to see you.

Being vegetarian is not a food “preference.” It is a restriction.

A voluntary restriction.

And? Do you sneer to your Jewish or Muslim friends for their VOLUNTARY food restrictions of no pork or Kosher, etc.? Oh wait, you don’t have nay Jewish or Muslim friends.

Well, I am Jewish, but I don’t keep kosher, it’s true. My boyfriend is Muslim and doesn’t eat pork voluntarily, but he did eat it once unknowingly at a barbecue and was perfectly fine, physically. Plus, Allah has not smited him yet! So yes, I would also argue that those are voluntary restrictions. I don’t sneer at them, but I don’t think it’s the same as being allergic.

Literally no one said it was. That’s what the “and” was for at the start of the sentence. Reading is fundamental. I was saying “and” in agreement that yes, it is a voluntary restriction. That said, it should be respected.

I know from voluntary restrictions vs. life-threatening allergies. My kids have nut allergies, and yeah, that’s different from my vegan cousin. But guess what, I respect both. See how easy that is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you’d think I’m annoying that I always discuss my daughters’ nut allergies with people, but if you do, that’s OK. Their own grandparents, 12 years on, cannot grasp that they are allergic to tree nuts and peanuts and literally ALWAYS have nuts around with no mention of them, despite the conversations. And well-meaning parents say “oh yes, I know, no peanuts” when it’s also no *tree nuts.* Tree nuts don’t seem to register to people because peanut allergies are more ubiquitous.

Just last Thanksgiving, despite my nephew also having nut allergies, my Mom put out the Thanksgiving spread with no mention to any parent or kid that she had tried a new recipe with walnuts in the cranberry sauce. It’s a good thing I was making kid plates for my young nieces when I was like, “Uh hey Mom, did you put nuts in the cranberry sauce?” And no, there was no other cranberry alternative. People forget ALL THE TIME. And I don’t blame them, because hosts have a lot to think about, as I well know as a frequent holiday host!

I do this too with my kid's nut allergy. And I check all boxes and labels myself. The grandparents forget to check ingredients every time (they have accidentally put out food with nuts that- in fairness to them- was a food that is typically nut-free). With a food allergy, you have to check every single time. I don't care that it annoys people!

Nut allergies are completely different than food preferences, especially for a host that always accommodates the food preference.

But instead of getting worked up why can’t OP simply keep it light and say, don’t worry, as we always do, there will be plenty of pizza with no meat. Can’t wait to see you.

Being vegetarian is not a food “preference.” It is a restriction.

A voluntary restriction.

Sure, but why does that bother you to the point that you'd be cool leaving a guest with nothing to eat? After 35 no-meat years, I know not to show up hungry and make do with what's available. Most of use who choose not to ear animals don't do it for attention or to inconvenience anyone, so I don't understand the hostility.

There’s no hostility to my answer. I eat plant-based about 4 days a week. But the idea that vegetarianism is on the same level as a potentially life-threatening allergy is simply not on. One is a choice, the other, a necessity.

Right. A choice that’s neither uncommon nor difficult to accommodate.

[Anonymous]

What?? No one gets meat on their pizza because relative is a vegetarian? Surely you’re ordering multiple pizzas. One can be a cheese/vegetarian and the other can be pepperoni? My kids wouldn’t be thrilled to not get pepperoni

[Anonymous]

I don't understand. Have they not been having cheese pizza with you all for years? Did they have a stroke? Why do they think this year is different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you’d think I’m annoying that I always discuss my daughters’ nut allergies with people, but if you do, that’s OK. Their own grandparents, 12 years on, cannot grasp that they are allergic to tree nuts and peanuts and literally ALWAYS have nuts around with no mention of them, despite the conversations. And well-meaning parents say “oh yes, I know, no peanuts” when it’s also no *tree nuts.* Tree nuts don’t seem to register to people because peanut allergies are more ubiquitous.

Just last Thanksgiving, despite my nephew also having nut allergies, my Mom put out the Thanksgiving spread with no mention to any parent or kid that she had tried a new recipe with walnuts in the cranberry sauce. It’s a good thing I was making kid plates for my young nieces when I was like, “Uh hey Mom, did you put nuts in the cranberry sauce?” And no, there was no other cranberry alternative. People forget ALL THE TIME. And I don’t blame them, because hosts have a lot to think about, as I well know as a frequent holiday host!

I do this too with my kid's nut allergy. And I check all boxes and labels myself. The grandparents forget to check ingredients every time (they have accidentally put out food with nuts that- in fairness to them- was a food that is typically nut-free). With a food allergy, you have to check every single time. I don't care that it annoys people!

Nut allergies are completely different than food preferences, especially for a host that always accommodates the food preference.

But instead of getting worked up why can’t OP simply keep it light and say, don’t worry, as we always do, there will be plenty of pizza with no meat. Can’t wait to see you.

Being vegetarian is not a food “preference.” It is a restriction.

A voluntary restriction.

And? Do you sneer to your Jewish or Muslim friends for their VOLUNTARY food restrictions of no pork or Kosher, etc.? Oh wait, you don’t have nay Jewish or Muslim friends.

Well, I am Jewish, but I don’t keep kosher, it’s true. My boyfriend is Muslim and doesn’t eat pork voluntarily, but he did eat it once unknowingly at a barbecue and was perfectly fine, physically. Plus, Allah has not smited him yet! So yes, I would also argue that those are voluntary restrictions. I don’t sneer at them, but I don’t think it’s the same as being allergic.

Literally no one said it was. That’s what the “and” was for at the start of the sentence. Reading is fundamental. I was saying “and” in agreement that yes, it is a voluntary restriction. That said, it should be respected.

I know from voluntary restrictions vs. life-threatening allergies. My kids have nut allergies, and yeah, that’s different from my vegan cousin. But guess what, I respect both. See how easy that is?

No one has disrespected anyone here. The OP serves a fully veggie dinner, I never feed my boyfriend pork. What’s your beef?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you’d think I’m annoying that I always discuss my daughters’ nut allergies with people, but if you do, that’s OK. Their own grandparents, 12 years on, cannot grasp that they are allergic to tree nuts and peanuts and literally ALWAYS have nuts around with no mention of them, despite the conversations. And well-meaning parents say “oh yes, I know, no peanuts” when it’s also no *tree nuts.* Tree nuts don’t seem to register to people because peanut allergies are more ubiquitous.

Just last Thanksgiving, despite my nephew also having nut allergies, my Mom put out the Thanksgiving spread with no mention to any parent or kid that she had tried a new recipe with walnuts in the cranberry sauce. It’s a good thing I was making kid plates for my young nieces when I was like, “Uh hey Mom, did you put nuts in the cranberry sauce?” And no, there was no other cranberry alternative. People forget ALL THE TIME. And I don’t blame them, because hosts have a lot to think about, as I well know as a frequent holiday host!

I do this too with my kid's nut allergy. And I check all boxes and labels myself. The grandparents forget to check ingredients every time (they have accidentally put out food with nuts that- in fairness to them- was a food that is typically nut-free). With a food allergy, you have to check every single time. I don't care that it annoys people!

Nut allergies are completely different than food preferences, especially for a host that always accommodates the food preference.

But instead of getting worked up why can’t OP simply keep it light and say, don’t worry, as we always do, there will be plenty of pizza with no meat. Can’t wait to see you.

Being vegetarian is not a food “preference.” It is a restriction.

A voluntary restriction.

Sure, but why does that bother you to the point that you'd be cool leaving a guest with nothing to eat? After 35 no-meat years, I know not to show up hungry and make do with what's available. Most of use who choose not to ear animals don't do it for attention or to inconvenience anyone, so I don't understand the hostility.

There’s no hostility to my answer. I eat plant-based about 4 days a week. But the idea that vegetarianism is on the same level as a potentially life-threatening allergy is simply not on. One is a choice, the other, a necessity.

Right. A choice that’s neither uncommon nor difficult to accommodate.

And it has been fully accommodated. So much so that the entire meal is vegetarian. Because of one person’s preferences.

[Anonymous]

Tell them we are having meatless pizza like always but feel free to bring a dish to share, lololol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relative is vegetarian. We always have pizza in the night before Thanksgiving. (About 20 oeople) We always avoid meat to keep this relative happy on pizza night They emailed tonight, will there be vegetarian options or should I bring my own food?

YES we remember your food preferences and as always are accommodating. We note that you are a better person than the rest of us! Why do we need to discuss it every time??! Do you do this to your friends every time you eat somewhere?

Vegetarians are like Vegans and Scientologists. They want everyone to know.

[Anonymous]

I think there must be backstory. Like the relative is kinda self-congratulatory about being vegetarian or something.

OP, just respond, “As always whenever you visit, we’re planning to have vegetarian food for you. Thanks but no need to bring special food.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I eat some meat, but I’ve personally witnessed situations where the host ordered, say, one cheese or one veggie pizza, but it looked good to the kids and even the meat eaters, so the vegetarian had only one or two pieces of pizza while everyone else had three or more.

This happens so often!

They order one veggie pizza. Everyone takes a slice of veggie and one meat. Pretty soon all that’s left is a bunch of sausage or meat lovers pizza.

There have been so many times I was assured that there’s a vegetarian option, but unless I’m first in line, it’s gone by the time it’s my turn to serve.

This has also happened to me, so many times!!

[Anonymous]

They should have said: thanks for hosting again this year! Is the plan still to have vegetarian pizza as we have in the past? If not, no worries & happy to bring something just let me know!

That way they’re letting you know they don’t expect you to always order vegetarian pizza every year. But also acknowledging that this is what you have always done and they appreciate it!

[Anonymous]

Yes, OP. You are the ahole.

[Anonymous]

Frankly I’m amazed there hasn’t been a revolt from the other guests over all veggie pizzas.