Is this rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you’d think I’m annoying that I always discuss my daughters’ nut allergies with people, but if you do, that’s OK. Their own grandparents, 12 years on, cannot grasp that they are allergic to tree nuts and peanuts and literally ALWAYS have nuts around with no mention of them, despite the conversations. And well-meaning parents say “oh yes, I know, no peanuts” when it’s also no *tree nuts.* Tree nuts don’t seem to register to people because peanut allergies are more ubiquitous.

Just last Thanksgiving, despite my nephew also having nut allergies, my Mom put out the Thanksgiving spread with no mention to any parent or kid that she had tried a new recipe with walnuts in the cranberry sauce. It’s a good thing I was making kid plates for my young nieces when I was like, “Uh hey Mom, did you put nuts in the cranberry sauce?” And no, there was no other cranberry alternative. People forget ALL THE TIME. And I don’t blame them, because hosts have a lot to think about, as I well know as a frequent holiday host!

I do this too with my kid's nut allergy. And I check all boxes and labels myself. The grandparents forget to check ingredients every time (they have accidentally put out food with nuts that- in fairness to them- was a food that is typically nut-free). With a food allergy, you have to check every single time. I don't care that it annoys people!

Nut allergies are completely different than food preferences, especially for a host that always accommodates the food preference.

But instead of getting worked up why can’t OP simply keep it light and say, don’t worry, as we always do, there will be plenty of pizza with no meat. Can’t wait to see you.

Being vegetarian is not a food “preference.” It is a restriction.

A voluntary restriction.

Not necessarily, it may be medically required. It’s really none of your business.

Oh, please. In like 1% of cases. 🙄

[Anonymous]

I can’t imagine being upset with this relative. They’re just offering to bring their own food if necessary. No need to be rude back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get worked up about dumb things too, but you are overthinking this and being overly critical. It's her way of reminding you and also not putting a burden on you and I think it's actually nice.

This. Circumstances change. People get busy. It’s her way of reminding and giving you an easy out if you want to, by offering to bring her own food. It’s not rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine being upset with this relative. They’re just offering to bring their own food if necessary. No need to be rude back.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get worked up about dumb things too, but you are overthinking this and being overly critical. It's her way of reminding you and also not putting a burden on you and I think it's actually nice.

This. Circumstances change. People get busy. It’s her way of reminding and giving you an easy out if you want to, by offering to bring her own food. It’s not rude.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I’m amazed there hasn’t been a revolt from the other guests over all veggie pizzas.

They probably mean regular cheese pizza.

[Anonymous]

Really? Vegetarians you remind your siblings every time that you are vegetarian when they have fully accommodated you for years...and in a way that implies they may have to bring their own food ! I do think that is odd!

[Anonymous]

20 people and you only get non-meat pizzas? I personally don’t like meat on pizza but I would definitely get a few with pepperoni, sausage, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not rude. I know you think “I always go out of my way to meet this person’s dietary needs, can’t they trust me?” but they may not have consciously processed that, they may just have a habit of checking, they may be anxious and want to double-check, they may think “oh Larla has so much on her plate right now she might’ve forgotten”…

Agree with this. Communication is connecting. She took a minute to connect with you, and I believe you connected kindly back. Why do you need to have an angry internal dialogue about it, OP?

[Anonymous]

The real problem is that vegetarian pizzas are always gone first!
It happens at work every time, it's absurd. You can offer people the cheese only or cheese and mushrooms, but they'll aways insist that they want pepperoni one. And then, when the pizzas come, they'll start with the vegetarian ones only to move to the third or fourth slice which is now the pepperoni pizza. So annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my vegetarian friend is at a social event that has meat options and a limited amount of food (vs a restaurant or a store that restocks) and they are offered say a hamburger, they will accept it with the rationale that an animal gave its life for this and it would be said if it was not at least eaten (and put in the trash).

lol this cannot be real.

That person isn't a vegetarian.

[Anonymous]

Quick reply of having pizza like always- plain and cheese! They can then decide what to do and based on other posts here wouldn’t even say or feel free to bring own as read the horror posts of what people expect to be able to cook at other houses- but if silent on it, they can do what want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my vegetarian friend is at a social event that has meat options and a limited amount of food (vs a restaurant or a store that restocks) and they are offered say a hamburger, they will accept it with the rationale that an animal gave its life for this and it would be said if it was not at least eaten (and put in the trash).

lol this cannot be real.

That person isn't a vegetarian.

Ethical vegetarian. All terms for someone who wants to be vegetarian but will eat meat sometimes are:

Flexitarian: This is a combination of "flexible" and "vegetarian" and is the most common and accurate term. It describes someone who primarily eats plant-based foods but will eat meat on occasion.

Semi-vegetarian: This is another term that means the same thing as flexitarian, as the person is not a strict vegetarian but still eats a primarily plant-based diet.

Ethical Vegetarian: In some specific cases, a person might be described this way if their primary reason for not eating meat is ethical, and they choose to avoid wasting meat when it's presented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly I’m amazed there hasn’t been a revolt from the other guests over all veggie pizzas.

They probably mean regular cheese pizza.

So? Its boring AF to only have one kind of pizza.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quick reply of having pizza like always- plain and cheese! They can then decide what to do and based on other posts here wouldn’t even say or feel free to bring own as read the horror posts of what people expect to be able to cook at other houses- but if silent on it, they can do what want.

What do you mean “plain and cheese?” Those are the same thing.