Is this rude?

[Anonymous]

Relative is vegetarian. We always have pizza in the night before Thanksgiving. (About 20 oeople) We always avoid meat to keep this relative happy on pizza night They emailed tonight, will there be vegetarian options or should I bring my own food?

YES we remember your food preferences and as always are accommodating. We note that you are a better person than the rest of us! Why do we need to discuss it every time??! Do you do this to your friends every time you eat somewhere?

[Anonymous]

I get worked up about dumb things too, but you are overthinking this and being overly critical. It's her way of reminding you and also not putting a burden on you and I think it's actually nice.

[Anonymous]

I know you are right but really do you think I am going to invite you over and not serve food you will eat? It's a close relative not someone I only talk to once a year. There is a second vegetarian too. They are easy going about it. Oh don't worry ..I am fine with salad etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Relative is vegetarian. We always have pizza in the night before Thanksgiving. (About 20 oeople) We always avoid meat to keep this relative happy on pizza night They emailed tonight, will there be vegetarian options or should I bring my own food?

YES we remember your food preferences and as always are accommodating. We note that you are a better person than the rest of us! Why do we need to discuss it every time??! Do you do this to your friends every time you eat somewhere?

Why be obnoxious? Not everyone has vegetarian and it sucks having noting to eat. Just say we are ordering pizza from xxx. We planned to get a vegetable option but please let us know your favorite kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know you are right but really do you think I am going to invite you over and not serve food you will eat? It's a close relative not someone I only talk to once a year. There is a second vegetarian too. They are easy going about it. Oh don't worry ..I am fine with salad etc

I’ve been in situations where there is nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you are right but really do you think I am going to invite you over and not serve food you will eat? It's a close relative not someone I only talk to once a year. There is a second vegetarian too. They are easy going about it. Oh don't worry ..I am fine with salad etc

I’ve been in situations where there is nothing.

Great, well, that’s not OP’s situation so…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you are right but really do you think I am going to invite you over and not serve food you will eat? It's a close relative not someone I only talk to once a year. There is a second vegetarian too. They are easy going about it. Oh don't worry ..I am fine with salad etc

I’ve been in situations where there is nothing.

I have never neglected them in any way. I usually make a fully vegetarian meal when they visit (which is multiple times a year). I could see letting someone you don't know well know. This just feels critical or attention grabbing...but I will just continue to provide vegetarian fare and ignore

[Anonymous]

If you're getting pizza for 20, why not just get half with whatever meats people like, and half with just cheese or veg? No big deal.

No, it wasn't rude. They were not assuming people would remember how they eat (especially if you only eat with them once a year) and were trying to make things easy by offering to bring their own food.

By you saying "you are a better person than all of us" it's clear YOU have a chip on your shoulder and need to work on that.

[Anonymous]

I get all vegetarian so there will not be any issues that all that was left by the time I ate was meat. Everyone else is flexible and prefers to avoid food chatter on the topic

[Anonymous]

Maybe you’d think I’m annoying that I always discuss my daughters’ nut allergies with people, but if you do, that’s OK. Their own grandparents, 12 years on, cannot grasp that they are allergic to tree nuts and peanuts and literally ALWAYS have nuts around with no mention of them, despite the conversations. And well-meaning parents say “oh yes, I know, no peanuts” when it’s also no *tree nuts.* Tree nuts don’t seem to register to people because peanut allergies are more ubiquitous.

Just last Thanksgiving, despite my nephew also having nut allergies, my Mom put out the Thanksgiving spread with no mention to any parent or kid that she had tried a new recipe with walnuts in the cranberry sauce. It’s a good thing I was making kid plates for my young nieces when I was like, “Uh hey Mom, did you put nuts in the cranberry sauce?” And no, there was no other cranberry alternative. People forget ALL THE TIME. And I don’t blame them, because hosts have a lot to think about, as I well know as a frequent holiday host!

[Anonymous]

I think a medical condition that is often forgotten is different than a preference that has been accommodated for years.

[Anonymous]

You are a jerk. Why is this person even visiting you.
Provide the pizza restaurant website with menu so they can see and order their own personal if desired.
You know, some dude died recently from eating a speck of meat after tick-borne illness that causes meat allergy.
It’s not a joke.

[Anonymous]

It’s not rude. I know you think “I always go out of my way to meet this person’s dietary needs, can’t they trust me?” but they may not have consciously processed that, they may just have a habit of checking, they may be anxious and want to double-check, they may think “oh Larla has so much on her plate right now she might’ve forgotten”…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a medical condition that is often forgotten is different than a preference that has been accommodated for years.

I think it would be rude to assume that your hosts, who have a lot of things to deal with given the holiday, are remembering every guests’ restrictions and preferences.

I think it’s weird that you think being a vegetarian or saying you are one is some kind of moral judgment, and I say that as someone who eats meat. I don’t even think vegans are holier-than-thou as a rule; though certainly some vegetarians and vegans are obnoxious. But that’s because they’re obnoxious people, not because they are veg or vegan. Just like the top 10 most obnoxious people in my life are meat-eaters, but they’re not insufferable because they eat meat.

Do you get it yet, that after a half-dozen people have told you that you are over-thinking this and being too sensitive, that you’re the oddball here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know you are right but really do you think I am going to invite you over and not serve food you will eat? It's a close relative not someone I only talk to once a year. There is a second vegetarian too. They are easy going about it. Oh don't worry ..I am fine with salad etc

I’ve been in situations where there is nothing.

Me too. Or they lie or “forget”.
I always bring food to share.