Am I in the wrong here or is my daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here:
SHE wanted the foster cats. We as a family agreed we would help by entertaining them, and buying supplies plus driving them to the vet and meeting up with adopters. Her sister already does more than we as a family agreed on. Her sister sometimes feeds them and cleans the litterbox when that is my oldest daughter’s responsibility. I told my oldest that if she continues on with her bad attitude, we will not be fostering anymore in the future and she said that was really unfair since she was doing all the work and she enjoys fostering cats.

So you knew the kittens would be cared for and you woke your dd anyway? Why are you so resentful about your younger dd helping out if she does so voluntarily?

well my oldest daughter has a bad attitude while the younger one doesn't. I don't want the younger one to have to do all the hard work when shes perfectly well behaved and this isnt her responsibilty.

Why haven’t you cited any examples of your older dd having a bad attitude? You mentioned her comment about your sleeping until 8:00, but nothing that indicates a bad attitude about taking care of the foster cats. If you think that’s relevant, why did you fail to mention it and describe your dd as if she’s been completely responsible, but gets assistance from her sister?

With bad attitude I mean always talking to us in an annoyed voice, sighing when asked to do chores (not including the cat chores, she likes doing those), being grumpy etc..

Have you ever spent time around a teenager before? This is 100% textbook normal.

I mean she's been like this since she was 12!

Duh- can’t wait for your 12 year old to join her older sister with the attitude

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter probably wants to foster cats because she doesn't get any love from her own mother. She's going to have a bunch of kids to fix her own childhood.

She has always wanted pets since she was little, it's irrelevant. Plus we think of ourselves as not strict parents. We let her have sleepovers whenever she wants, same with hang outs, we let her go to 2 concerts alone with her friends etc..

If she’d gone to the sleepover, as she is allowed to do, what would have happened? Would little sister have happily fed the cats?

[Anonymous]

I'm on your side, OP.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why shes always in such a bad mood or has such bad attitude. She talks to us rudely and rolls her eyes. Instead of saying OK like a normal person she says Okayyyyyy while rolling her eyes or instead of saying what she says WHAT in a rude tone. Her 12 year old sister isnt like this.

[Anonymous]

You should read up on how much sleep teenagers need and what happens when they don’t get enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter probably wants to foster cats because she doesn't get any love from her own mother. She's going to have a bunch of kids to fix her own childhood.

She has always wanted pets since she was little, it's irrelevant. Plus we think of ourselves as not strict parents. We let her have sleepovers whenever she wants, same with hang outs, we let her go to 2 concerts alone with her friends etc..

If she’d gone to the sleepover, as she is allowed to do, what would have happened? Would little sister have happily fed the cats?

yes. but since in this case she was home, it was her responsibility to feed them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should read up on how much sleep teenagers need and what happens when they don’t get enough.

Thats why I told her to go to bed earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why shes always in such a bad mood or has such bad attitude. She talks to us rudely and rolls her eyes. Instead of saying OK like a normal person she says Okayyyyyy while rolling her eyes or instead of saying what she says WHAT in a rude tone. Her 12 year old sister isnt like this.

You seem like a very sensitive person. You need a thicker skin to live with teenaged girls. Don’t take out your hurt feelings on your dd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again:
Also I do have a job. It's from 10-4 and my two oldest daughters are old enough to make breakfast themselves and pack their lunch (one of them doesn't even eat breakfast and eats lunch at school) They take the bus to school and leave at around 8:15. My youngest daughter starts school at 8:45 and we live right next to the school so there is enough time for me to make her breakfast and lunch and then do her hair.

Sorry, this makes you sound like a crappy parent. Get up with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should read up on how much sleep teenagers need and what happens when they don’t get enough.

Thats why I told her to go to bed earlier.

Honest question, what time do you go to bed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should read up on how much sleep teenagers need and what happens when they don’t get enough.

Thats why I told her to go to bed earlier.

No, you really need to read up on teens and sleep. Their circadian rhythms are different than ours. They can’t fall asleep earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why shes always in such a bad mood or has such bad attitude. She talks to us rudely and rolls her eyes. Instead of saying OK like a normal person she says Okayyyyyy while rolling her eyes or instead of saying what she says WHAT in a rude tone. Her 12 year old sister isnt like this.

You seem like a very sensitive person. You need a thicker skin to live with teenaged girls. Don’t take out your hurt feelings on your dd.

We do punish her. We take away screen time. Once she had only had 5 minutes for all apps total. If this doesn't prove her crappy behavior I don't know what will.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter sounds amazing. I can’t believe she’s taken on all that responsibility. Even as an adult, that would be a lot. If she mentioned to you previously she was exhausted and you or her sibling were already up, I’d just do what needed to be done and let her sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should read up on how much sleep teenagers need and what happens when they don’t get enough.

Thats why I told her to go to bed earlier.

Honest question, what time do you go to bed?

Like 12-1 am because I have to put the kids to bed, do some extra work, do the kitchen, and after all this have some time to myself to read a book or watch a movie with my husband who works from 7-9 on weekdays and 3 hours on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter sounds amazing. I can’t believe she’s taken on all that responsibility. Even as an adult, that would be a lot. If she mentioned to you previously she was exhausted and you or her sibling were already up, I’d just do what needed to be done and let her sleep.

Oh trust me, she's not.