How tired are you of mean girl culture of moms at your private?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Expensive bag and a van cleef necklace? So mean!

Yeah. I would not assume someone in an Alhambra necklace is mean. Basic? Yes. Totally lacking in style? Yes. Mean? No.

You just took down half of the BVR moms with this quote.

[Anonymous]

The kids who are bullies and jerks have parents who are bullies and jerks. Mean mom culture is very real and you just have to ignore it until the gaslighting and gossiping affects your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Maybe you should not judge people based on their clothes or accessories. You sound a bit superficial. Why don’t you get to know the person instead?

People who dress in this way: conspicuous ultra high end labels don’t share my values. Yes they can be nice lovely people but beyond exchanging pleasantries I have no interest in developing relationships with people who practice extravagant consumerism.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t try to befriend any moms in high school. Never had this issue.

[Anonymous]

I do not consider any of the moms at my child’s school friends. Over a decade ago when my child enrolled at his private, the father of one of his classmates deliberately humiliated me in front of a bunch of the other moms by insinuating that I was having an affair with him. I have never cheated in my over two decade long marriage. A bunch of the moms believed him so I checked out socially. My child had also been socially excluded outside of school beyond the obligatory school invites like game nights etc. I did host birthday parties for him a few times over the years. That’s all. He does get along with the other children at school according to his teachers. I’m grateful for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not consider any of the moms at my child’s school friends. Over a decade ago when my child enrolled at his private, the father of one of his classmates deliberately humiliated me in front of a bunch of the other moms by insinuating that I was having an affair with him. I have never cheated in my over two decade long marriage. A bunch of the moms believed him so I checked out socially. My child had also been socially excluded outside of school beyond the obligatory school invites like game nights etc. I did host birthday parties for him a few times over the years. That’s all. He does get along with the other children at school according to his teachers. I’m grateful for that.

Yikes—do we need a “psycho dads” thread? Sorry that happen to you PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious.

Maybe you should not judge people based on their clothes or accessories. You sound a bit superficial. Why don’t you get to know the person instead?

People who dress in this way: conspicuous ultra high end labels don’t share my values. Yes they can be nice lovely people but beyond exchanging pleasantries I have no interest in developing relationships with people who practice extravagant consumerism.

You realize this is just the flip side of the coin right? You are still excluding people because of what they are wearing...

[Anonymous]

I have loved watching a few moms fan girl over the semi-famous people. Then curate their kids' friends away from the kids their kids were actual friends with, to steer them to friendship with the semi-famous peoples' kids (who dress and act in ways that the moms previously looked upon with critical judgment). That's been quite fun to observe.

I've found private to be around half composed of a really solid group of parents and kids and a half composed of aspirational and achieved mean girls with kids who seem to be on the path to becoming their parents.

Find your people. Don't fret if the cool kids don't like you. Take it as a compliment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not consider any of the moms at my child’s school friends. Over a decade ago when my child enrolled at his private, the father of one of his classmates deliberately humiliated me in front of a bunch of the other moms by insinuating that I was having an affair with him. I have never cheated in my over two decade long marriage. A bunch of the moms believed him so I checked out socially. My child had also been socially excluded outside of school beyond the obligatory school invites like game nights etc. I did host birthday parties for him a few times over the years. That’s all. He does get along with the other children at school according to his teachers. I’m grateful for that.

why, and how, did the Dad do that - it would be helpful to give a little more context. did he merely make a tasteless joke, or did he actually tell facts (true or not) that made everyone think you were having an affair?
was he a single Dad or was he married too? if married, it is odd that he would shame himself and his own kids in front of the Mom group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DP. Usually mean girls come from mean moms. That has been our experience.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup.

NCS.

I know one Mom at NCS who is extremely sweet and nice - and for good measure she is incredibly hot!

Oh good lord 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup.

NCS.

Really? 10 years ago, which I admit is dated, most moms were working at big jobs and too busy for pick up drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have loved watching a few moms fan girl over the semi-famous people. Then curate their kids' friends away from the kids their kids were actual friends with, to steer them to friendship with the semi-famous peoples' kids (who dress and act in ways that the moms previously looked upon with critical judgment). That's been quite fun to observe.

I've found private to be around half composed of a really solid group of parents and kids and a half composed of aspirational and achieved mean girls with kids who seem to be on the path to becoming their parents.

Find your people. Don't fret if the cool kids don't like you. Take it as a compliment.

There are no famous people in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not consider any of the moms at my child’s school friends. Over a decade ago when my child enrolled at his private, the father of one of his classmates deliberately humiliated me in front of a bunch of the other moms by insinuating that I was having an affair with him. I have never cheated in my over two decade long marriage. A bunch of the moms believed him so I checked out socially. My child had also been socially excluded outside of school beyond the obligatory school invites like game nights etc. I did host birthday parties for him a few times over the years. That’s all. He does get along with the other children at school according to his teachers. I’m grateful for that.

That’s really crazy…. How did that even happen and so sad??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s another thread right now where a private school parent is asking how much money posters think she needs to be giving to make sure a sibling gets admitted to the school. Now we have this thread asking about mean mom culture at private schools.

Why are people subjecting themselves to all of this? Why not just go to public school?

Uh, because many/most of us already tried out public and are sick of the large class sizes, disruptive students who apparently have every right to be in a gen ed classroom, and tons of ed tech (chromebooks to watch youtube on) in the classroom? I will gladly take some unfriendliness or a heavily encouraged donation versus having my kids attend public school again...