| Older DC is a senior and it’s been a long drama-filled journey. Second DC still has several years to graduation and I’m just so tired of all the mean girl behavior. |
| The moms are mean or the girls are mean? |
| DP. Usually mean girls come from mean moms. That has been our experience. |
| Mean girls are a reflection of poor parenting. It gets amplified in certain private schools because they are so small. And often, there's no alternative friend groups if the mean girls are dominating things. I'd really check the culture of the particular grade and the administration before applying or enrolling. It's a definite problem at certain schools. |
| My daughter has pretty much given up on friend groups and doesn't feel she fits into any of these groups. She's friendly with people, but just not in a group. There is always seems to be a someone in the group who ruins the dynamics and creates drama. She's a senior so I am hoping the dynamics will be different in college. |
| What are some examples of mean girl culture of moms? There are moms who I avoid but if I’m being honest it’s more based on how they are dressed(eg dripping with expensive bags, jewelry etc), but otherwise we haven’t experienced any behaviors that directly impact DD so I’m genuinely curious. |
Maybe you should not judge people based on their clothes or accessories. You sound a bit superficial. Why don’t you get to know the person instead? |
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Such poor reading comprehension on here. She’s asking about moms she thinks are mean, not the girls.
FWIW, OP, every time I have initially thought some parent was being exclusive or unfriendly, I’ve been wrong. And I’ve made some judgments based on how people dressed, especially one mom who wears a full face of makeup at all times. She’s turned out to be one of the nicest moms at school. Try to make sure you’re not being judgmental or projecting your own insecurities on other people. These moms are probably not thinking about you all that much, but unlikely to be deliberately excluding you. |
Expensive bag and a van cleef necklace? So mean! |
| I ran into another mom last night who tells me "We had ALL the boys over today (since there was no school.) They had a BLAST. You should really encourage Larlo to make friends with our boys so he can be included in all the fun." My kid is now on his 4th year at this school. Thanks lady! |
| My DCs went to three private schools in NYC over the course of 25 years, and I never really encountered this. Sure, there were some parents who weren't friendly or were otherwise socially awkward, but no one was mean or intentionally exclusive. |
Lol you do realize you're probably the "mean mom" since you're judging others by what they are wearing. Some of the nicest moms I know are basically walking brand ads. |
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There’s another thread right now where a private school parent is asking how much money posters think she needs to be giving to make sure a sibling gets admitted to the school. Now we have this thread asking about mean mom culture at private schools.
Why are people subjecting themselves to all of this? Why not just go to public school? |
| We have a couple that are super gossipy and have targeted one of two other families in their gossip. We avoid them. I won’t miss this part of parenting. |
I'm the PP you are responding to. I'm the mom who is rushing to make it to whatever evening event is being held at the school from my crappy office job in whatever I've been wearing since I left the house at 7am. I fully admit to having been surprised at how nice some of the outwardly intimidating women are and that's why I was asking about actual examples of "mean moms." |